Arctic Jasper
by DezPride
Summary: Set in New Moon. After leaving Bella to fend for herself for months an unlikely Cullen returns to reunite their shattered family. Rated M for strong language and an occational Lemon. Jasper's point of view. Slightly Out of Charater. BxE, BxJ, JxA
1. Pain

Prologue: Pain

Pain. That is the only thing I have felt for the last six months. Pain that is so intense that I feel it in my very soul. Not merely a physical pain but a mental and emotional pain as well. Our family is shattered. All because of my weakness, my greatest shame. I can take it no longer. I need to do something…anything. The question is what?


	2. Memories

Memories

I think over the months to the first day I set eyes on her, Isabella Swan. Bella, as she preferred to be called. She came to school in yet another one of my Senior years. I had been so bored. Taking useless classes that I could have taught better than any teacher in the school, hell in the country. I was in agony from being surrounded in all the sweet smelling, rain drenched humans, filling the tiny cafeteria. The students of Forks High school had always been cautious of the mysterious Doctor Cullen's foster children. We were usually the talk of the town, almost all gossip surrounded us. We were taken in by the kindly Doctor from tragic pasts and we were all "together" with the exception of Edward. The rumors were that he was gay, too pretty to be single and straight. That was why he turned down every Forks High beauty, if only they knew.

My poor brother, he fought so hard for that girl. First to dominate his natural instinct, battle his thirst and allow the girl to live. Then to leave her alone, to stay away from the only person who ever truly intrigued him, followed by loving her, protecting her… not only from the dangers around her but also from himself. Finally ending their relationship, forcing himself to leave her. That was the beginning of the battle he fights everyday to keep to his promise, to not return for her; to make it as if he had never existed.

I remember it all. Especially because I was the cause of that final act, that lead to the destruction of a perfect fairytale love. The lion and the lamb.


	3. Panic During American History

Panic during American History

That day was like any other, except instead of the children gossiping about the freaky Cullen kids they were focused on the new student. A girl named Bella. The females were instantly jealous of her beauty and the attention she was receiving while the males were driven wild with lust. I let the emotions wash over me while keeping them from influencing my mood, and listening to the conversations that floated around me.

"Alice, have you seen her yet" Emmett asked what we all wanted to know.

"Not from the front, I saw her walking down the stairs" Alice's eyes sparkled, she obviously like Bella immensely and hadn't even met the girl yet.

"She isn't even all that pretty, I don't see what the big deal is." Rosalie growled.

She had never even laid eyes on the little human and already she was jealous and holding a petty grudge against the girl. I was surprised that Rosalie had brought her attention from the compact in front of her enough to notice the new girl. From the emotion coming from my siblings they were as well.

_Hmmm. She must be a true beauty to have offended Rose so completely. _Edward nodded ever so slightly. He confirmed my suspicions.

Emmett not the least put off by his wife's bad attitude immediately asked Edward to read her and tell us what she was thinking. Edward turned his attention inward and was silent for a few minutes. He filled with curiosity, and then frustration. Then suddenly jerked his head in her direction and glared fearsomely at her. From across the room where my brother's attention was turned I felt a jolt of curiosity returning and then was crashed into by a wave of embarrassment, it was staggering.

I whipped my head in her direction and saw a beautiful girl. She had soft alabaster skin, wavy, dark chestnut locks and deep rich chocolate brown eyes. She was small and fragile. Blushing furiously she was very appealing to the monster within me. I had to quickly stifle not only my own thirst but my brother's as well. He was so totally focused that he didn't even realize when he started to growl loud enough for humans to detect. I kicked him under the table. Still fighting our bloodlust, I pleaded with Edward with my eyes. It helped when I heard my name.

"Alice is the small dark haired one. She is with Jasper, the blonde one who looks like he is in pain" Apparently my struggle was noticeable even from a distance.

I looked for the speaker and was not surprised to see Jessica Stanley, speaking to none other than Isabella who was studying our table intently. The emotions I had felt were from her. I felt a spike of jealously from Jessica and more frustration from Edward. He continued to glare at Miss Swan, though it had nothing to do with the creature with in him.

"Well…?" Emmett exclaimed, he had grown bored watching us staring at the child.

"I can't. I can't read her. It is like there is an empty space where she is sitting."

"That is probably because she is as empty headed as the rest of them" Emmett joked.

This statement bothered both me and Edward but neither of us responded to Emmett's jibe. The rest of our conversation was cut short as the bell sounded telling us to head to class. As I walked to AP American History with Emmett and Rosalie, I pushed the lunch conversation from my mind. By the time I had sat down at my desk the entire incident had been totally forgotten. As the teacher listed off false information about our countries history, I laid my head down on my desk and allowed my eyes to glaze over.

I was blindsided by an intense feeling of thirst, lust, and an all consuming hatred. My eyes shot over to Emmett and Rosalie. They were staring at each other with adoration and love. Neither of them noticed my growing panic. I turned my attention to the class across the hall where my lovely Alice was. I wasn't surprised that the murderous rage was not present in that room. My Alice was to gentle and loving to be feeling those emotions. I was the weakest link but I was fine. So that only left Edward. I was shocked, Edwards control was right up there with Carlisle's. He didn't take chances with open wounds but they were not blood typing for a few more weeks. What could of possibly given him this much trouble.

Making sure the other children were occupied I quickly explained the situation to my siblings. As my anxiety grew the clock seemed to slow. As soon as the bell rang we dashed out of the classroom. As we approached Edward's classroom, Alice fell into step beside me. The room was mostly empty by the time we arrived, we had missed him. My emotions spiked to panic along with my siblings, yet I felt relief as it swept through my little pixie. I glanced to her curiously, but she was staring at Isabella. I focused on the mahogany beauty and she was feeling anxious and hurt.

"Did you stab Cullen with a pencil or what? I have never seen him act that way before."

I didn't hear her reply being too caught up in the confusion around me. Alice blanked out in a vision and I held her hand as I waited for her to return to me.

"This is all about that Bella girl again?" Emmett puzzled as Alice gasped and exclaimed "No, Edward you can't!"

She turned from us and raced for the gym. She shouted back to us that we were to block the entrances to the gym and keep Edward from entering at all costs. In confusion Emmett and Rosalie went to the nearest door and I followed my wife to the other. We waited in a haze of intense emotions for the hour to end. Alice refused to tell us anything. Shortly before the bell rang she called us together and began leading us to the parking lot. "He has decided to kill her at home" was the only explanation we received.


	4. Edward's Departure

Edward's Departure

When we got to the car Edward was already within it and gripping the steering wheel so tightly, I was afraid he was going to snap it in half. Tension was just pouring off him. I flooded the car with calm. His grip relaxed just slightly and I heard him whisper a quiet thank you that I would have missed had I not been a vampire. I nodded to him and silently waited for an explanation. The tires screamed as we exited the parking lot.

Alice turned to him and shouted "You cannot do this Edward. She is Chief Swan's only child. It wouldn't just be killing her but him as well. Besides she and I are going to be best friends. I will be exceptionally displeased if you ruin that. I love her already."

"I know that I can't." I could feel Edward's anguish. He didn't want to kill her, or disappoint Carlisle but his want; no need was so bad that it was like he was a newborn all over again. "I just want her blood so badly, it has never been this hard to resist before, not even during my rebellious stage." If he could cry, I think he would have been. I was glad I had never met my singer before; I was weak enough on my own. I had been a true vampire for over a century before giving it up to be a civilized vampire. I could understand his frustration_. Singers are impossible to resist _I thought.

"I can't believe I hadn't realized it. I will resist my singer. I have too!"

Alice had been glaring out the window. Her eyes unfocused and she was no longer seeing the road. Her head jerked back towards her brother as pain poured out of her. "Are you leaving us, Edward!?" her voice was filled with sorrow.

"I am sorry but I have no choice." He was silent after that and none of us were brave enough to break the quiet. He dropped us off at the opening of our drive and sped off to talk to Carlisle.

I had hoped that Carlisle would be able to calm him, where I had failed but when he returned that evening it was in the Volvo and alone. The next week was horrible, we all felt his absence. Even Rosalie was a little less self-centered and felt our sorrow. We were overjoyed when Alice announced that he would be returning to us. When he finally felt full enough to return to school we were all nervous and jittery wondering how he would handle it. He fought throughout the day but by fifth period he was determined to sit beside her and introduce himself.

I kept an emotional eye on him all throughout his class. I wanted to be able to help him in a seconds notice but all I felt was his intense curiosity. His throat had to be on fire but he pushed it back and buried it under his need to figure her out. Everything went well until that stupid van incident. I felt Edward and Alice fill with horror and my ears picked up the screeching of tires. I turned in time to see Edward push the van away from the girl.

I heard Edward swear for the first time in years as he kept the van from crushing her legs. I couldn't help but laugh internally despite the seriousness of the situation. My amusement was over powered by the fury radiating off of Rosalie. I shared her anger, he almost exposed us but I have a feeling it was more over her jealously over the Swan girl then our secret. Emmett was upset but I think it was worry for the girl's safety and our brother's well being.

Alice just felt smug?


	5. Accident Aftermath

Accident Aftermath

In the weeks following the accident everything went back to normal. Edward ignored the Swan girl but I could feel he desperately wanted to be near her. His resolve slowly dwindled. When Alice started speaking to him again everyone was surprised, except me. She had been pouting these last few weeks, following the accident because she blamed Edward for delaying her friendship. Alice was overjoyed when he began speaking to Isabella again, but was immediately put out when he refused to allow her to do the same. I wasn't trustful of the human girl, having her so close to our family made me nervous and yet I couldn't deny my brother his happiness. I found myself spending more time around my brother especially when he was working on a new composition; his emotions were just so joyful and content that it helped to sooth the turbulence that I felt from other members of our family. I was happy for him. Until he told us that she knew our secret and he hadn't taken care of the problem.

I was beyond enraged when the family meeting started. I couldn't believe those dirty mutts had betrayed us. On top of that my own brother knew a mortal knew our secret and he didn't even protect the family. He confirmed her suspicions. Rosalie was my greatest ally that night. She was angry with Edward from the beginning, she couldn't believe he had been so careless and was disappointed that we would have to move again. She also wanted the Swan girl taken care of but I have a feeling that is had less to do with what the girl knew and more about Rosalie's own insecurities. Even though her reasons were selfish and self-serving I was glad to not be alone. The lines were about to be drawn and I was not surprised by who was with who for the most part.

Edward's anger at our plan was not surprising. Nor was Esme's joy that Edward was loved and accepted by the girl that had captured his heart. Carlisle allowed her to live and for us to stay as long as she didn't expose us. Also not a surprise. I knew Carlisle hated when we fought and he didn't like to hurt any of us but he especially would never allow us to harm an innocent girl just because she had figured us out. It was in his very nature to help others so he would never consent to us harming one. I wasn't surprised with Alice's decision. She expressed intense happiness mostly because she would have seen it all in advance and she had been excited about the girl from the very beginning knowing they would be great friends. Emmett, however surprised the whole table into silence.

Emmett usually followed in whatever direction Rosalie led him. He hated to upset his wife. It made him miserable to make her unhappy and when she was mad she made him miserable. Along with the rest of us. However he was firmly against harming the girl in anyway and not even Rosalie could sway him. He already felt intensely protective of her. As far as he was concerned she was his little sister and if she needed to be guarded he would protect her, even from us. I couldn't fight all of them and though I could feel Rosalie's anger increasing, her resolve for harming the girl was slipping under her husband's glare. I would accept it. Her presence would have be endured.

As angry as I had been I got over it quickly. Edward's love soared and at times was so intense it could make me dizzy. I could not help but be happy for him and I decided it get over it and let him be happy while he could. The changes in my brother were impossible to ignore but I began to have doubts about their relationship. How long could it go on? Eventually she would die either through an accident or natural causes. How long could she be safe and human in our world?

Few vampires shared our views. What would he do when she could no longer pass as his girlfriend? How long would she put us with a vampire's love, I mean he couldn't hold her hand and walk down the street in the sun, he couldn't give her children. He could make love to her, vampires have had human lovers before yet I doubt he would. What kind of a future did they really have and what would happen to my brother when it was over? I didn't voice any of these doubts but we were all having them. Besides he had been alone too long, who were we to deny him anything?

I eventually got comfortable with the idea of Bella in theory, and before I knew it Edward was bringing her home so we could be comfortable with her in practice. He warned us to keep our distance but we all knew he was really only talking to me. I didn't need to be told, I had even planned on it. I actually couldn't believe that she willing walked into our house. She was nervous but without an ounce of real fear. She was even a little excited but nowhere near as excited as my little Alice. I was blown away when she touched us. I mean I knew she touched Edward, a little but she shook hands with both Carlisle and Esme and even allowed Alice to hug her. I was blown away and slightly impressed, though I had tried my hardest not to be. I found that I secretly liked Isabella Sawn. Though I would have walked through fire than admit I was wrong about her.

I came to find that we even shared some interests, like out love of reading and some popular bands. She didn't strike me as a rocker but she had a broad appreciation for music and loved everything from classical to jazz to hard rock. I found myself quite fond of her even while I maintained my distance. I enjoyed baseball and I found myself as excited as everyone else to play and show off for our human, as we liked to joke. It is a shame that night led to a hunt.

Stupid nomadic vampires, that couldn't mind their own business. We should have been more careful, we were aware of them but we honestly believed they were leaving the area. If only we hadn't played that night. Protecting her was worth it, keeping her safe... protecting my brother's happiness was worth it.

I could feel her shame and terror at us having to fight and the thought of any of us being harmed. She was worth it. She seemed surprised when I told her so and she was touched that I cared, even though I kept away from her. I was surprised how comfortable I felt with her in the car, even with all the emotions swirling around, her quite presence was soothing, knowing she was safe with us helped me to keep calm. Even after spending hours in the hotel room I continued to feel calm and in control. The only time I was touched by panic was when Alice got the vision that Bella was going to die despite our efforts to protect her, the panic faded after we went to the airport to await the arrival of my brothers and father.

While we waited Alice kept urging Bella to eat but I think she kept declining because of nerves.

She was becoming increasingly agitated as the time got closed for Edward to arrive. I could only imagine what my brother's emotions were like and was glad that I wasn't waiting with him.

When it was almost time for them to arrive, I was surprised that Bella stood, she was filled with guilt and asked to go get something to eat. Alice had started to get up but was waved down by Bella and she asked me to accompany her to get breakfast. I was surprised; we had usually avoided each other, politely, so neither of us was made uncomfortable by the presence of the other. Maybe she was feeling as easy about being around me, after prolonged contact as I was with her.

As I followed her through the airport, I lightly rested my hand on the small of her back, partly to help guide her as she was slightly shaky and partly to give some small comfort to her. This had been the closest I had ever been to a human without drinking their blood, not even in school had I come into contact with another. There was a small patch of skin between her shirt and the top of her pants. I didn't even notice it until my hand began to tingle pleasantly. It was an odd sensation, I wondered if this was how Edward felt when in contact with her. Almost like an electric current, it reminded me of Kate Denali's power though instead of pain it was pleasurable. I have passed it off as a human thing. It probably happened to any human you touched. I imagined it was because of the body temperature difference. I could almost remember taking a hot bath in the winter after coming in from the cold; it was the same feeling. A sweet relief from the constant cold.

I had to wait outside when she entered the restroom. Her nerves settled slightly and seemed to decrease in intensity. I thought it was because my brother would soon be beside her. Maybe she was washing her face, this act seemed to sooth her. She had done it many times in the hotel room, almost religiously. It seemed like I had been waiting a long time. She had been in there for several minutes. I had lost her emotions, and I concentrated harder but still couldn't pick them up. I began to worry. I asked a few women if they had seen her, before discretely checking myself. I stuck my head in just enough to scent for her but her smell was a few minutes old. I noticed the other exit and flew around to it. She had tricked me, using the other exit to give me the slip, her scent went to the exit where taxis were parked, and she must have gone to the Tracker.

I rushed back to Alice and arrived just seconds before my family appeared. I quickly explained what had happened and my brother had dashed off before I could even convey my apologies. We quickly followed him but he had quite a head start and it was tough moving around in the Phoenix sun, luckily Carlisle's Mercedes had tinted windows.

I was so ashamed that I had let her get away. If anything had happened to her it would have been my entire fault for letting her put herself in danger. Why had she gone to that psycho, she couldn't have thought she would be able to fight him without us? Why didn't she let us take care of him? I could feel my family's anger and their fear. I knew they were disappointed in me.

Luck was with us. We arrived in time to kill James and save Bella. Her blood was everywhere but it didn't affect me, I was so enraged and intent on killing James that the creature within me was silent for her blood while giddy with the thought of destroying the Tracker.

We took care of him quickly, and my own demon purred in satisfaction of defending my family. I knew how different I was from my family being of a different race of vampires, killing James just made me want to kill again. It was then that I was over powered by the sweet scent of freesias and strawberries. Not even the thick smoke of burning vampire could over power her smell. I headed outside needing fresh air to clear my head and calm my darker nature. I desperately needed to hunt. Emmett joined me and we ran back to Forks stopping every few hours to feed in the hopes of forgetting the sweet smell of human blood.

Thankfully Bella didn't have any permanent damage. Edward had sucked out the venom and had gotten her to a hospital where they took care of her injuries. I thought he was stupid, why not just turn her and allow her to be like him. He said he couldn't allow her to lose her soul, couldn't damn her to this existence. He said he didn't want her to be a vampire, though we could both feel the lie in these words. He was adamant about keeping her human but he desperately wanted her to be like him, durable like him. I think the real reason was he sucked the venom out was because he didn't want her to be a vampire like James, like me.

The only lasting damage done to Bella was the scars from being so close to death along with the crescent set of teeth marks, a souvenir from James. The rest of the school year passed without incident. We even attended prom that year, Alice insisted. We all had a good time, I even danced with Bella. I had returned to keeping my distance after we returned to Forks but I didn't think it would hurt, and I was right I wasn't even tempted by her. Not even when she blushed, though a few months earlier that would of caused me to growl and flee in fear of losing control.

We had a relaxing and joyful summer. Everything was perfect, our family was not only happy but it was finally complete. Time always seems to pass quickly when you are happy and I found it was the same for me. My gloomy moods had all but disappeared and laughter was now common in our home. Everything was great...until September the 13th.

If I only I had known what my actions would set in motion.


	6. My Greatest Shame, My Only Hope

My Greatest Shame, My Only Hope

Everything was perfect until September the Thirteenth. Bella's 18th birthday party; It was suppose to be a wonderful, happy occasion. We were all so excited, we had not celebrated a birthday since Emmett's a few decades ago. Everything started off great. I was relaxed and enjoying myself. I had been keeping my distance since my return from Phoenix but I had been feeling totally in control these last few months. My guard was down and I allowed myself to drift close enough to watch her open her presents. She looked great and was filled with love and embarrassment. It was the best night we had had in a long time, until she sliced her finger.

As I watched that small drop of blood fall silently to the floor, I felt all the careful control I had built up over the months start to crack. When the scent hit me it was totally shattered and as I sprung forward, I was willing to throw everything away if I could have but a taste of her sweet blood. I almost reached her but was stopped suddenly in midair. As I flew backwards, I registered that I had crashed into my brother Edward. I had a moment of clarity before Bella fell into the crystal shards. She was bleeding profusely and my vision flooded red as the beast within howled. I was crouched and getting ready to spring. I could feel their bloodlust; all of them wanted the same thing I did. It was hardest for Edward; he wanted so badly to join me. I was being crushed under the intensity of his desire yet be would fight me instead of share her. _You are trying to steal my prey, keep me away from that which is mine_. _We could share her_. He fought the beast within him. He sent me the thirst and kept the love for his self, to keep her alive. I felt the growl build in my chest and he answered back fiercely. I jumped again, but suddenly I was surrounded by the others.

They were all keeping me away, why couldn't they just get out of my way. They were fighting their demons but still sending out their emotions, I couldn't push them away. Especially when Edward began to remember drinking her blood, and how pleasurable it was, I couldn't stand it. Thankfully they were able to force me from the house.

As soon as the fresh air invaded my lungs, I was able to think a little more clearly and as we moved away from everyone their emotions faded. I was left to deal with only my own. I was immediately filled with remorse. I couldn't believe I could have been so stupid. I couldn't face my family; I may never be able to face them again. I tore away from Emmett and flew into the forest. I killed every animal that crossed my path in a hundred miles. I was somewhere in Canada when I began to feel my thirst fade. I ran until I couldn't run anymore, my steps pounded out my guilt, my betrayal, my shame. I finally collapsed to the ground and dry sobbed for hours.

I knew Bella did not blame me, she had already forgiven me. I could feel her understanding waves under all my self-loathing but I wasn't sure if I would be able to forgive myself. No, I couldn't, I would leave.

Alice found me curled up on the forest floor a few hours later and I told her my decision. I would head up to our friends in Alaska. She would return to Forks, collect out belongings and she would join me.

If only I had known what those events would have set in motion, I never would have attended the party. After I fled to Alaska, everything was quiet for a few days. I hid out in my room at the Denali's or in the woods cursing myself for being weak and sobbing over my misfortune of being a bad vampire. Why couldn't I have been good and clean like Carlisle. I sank into a depression; I finally didn't even leave my room. After a few weeks Carlisle ordered me to our new house where I discovered the terrible truth. I found my whole family there, there was a crippling pain emanating from the upstairs bedroom, Edward's room.

Edward had abandoned Bella. He had forced the whole family out of Washington. He demanded that we sever all contact, he even forbade Alice from searching Bella's future. After a vision of Bella staring blankly at nothing with tears streaming down her face, Edward exploded. Alice tried to apologize, she had not meant for him to see it or cause him pain but he wouldn't listen. He ranted about severing all ties for over an hour before disappearing upstairs; he returned with a suitcase and ran from the house. The Volvo's tires were screaming as he turned onto the highway. He didn't return. That was six months ago.

Our family had disappeared that night. We were here physically but not really here. Emmett didn't smile or make jokes like her use to, now they were forced and he didn't even laugh. Rosalie was miserable because Emmett was; she now spends all her time hiding under the hoods of our vehicles. Carlisle and Esme were heartbroken and worried, it seemed like they had aged ten years, which was impossible for a vampire. They could easily pass for early forties. Finally, I looked at my beautiful Alice. She was terribly upset and lonely. She would never admit to it but because she was ashamed of me. My lack of control, I was the reason Edward was gone and she had lost her best friend.

We were arguing. To an outsider that may not seem like an odd occurrence but for Alice and I that was huge. We had only had two arguments in all the years we had been together: one over finding the Cullen clan and if they would accept us and the other over killing Bella. We shared separate rooms and I found that she had divorce papers. All they needed was to be signed. If I had been alive that would have killed me. I could feel my cold heart breaking. I felt everything falling apart. I signed in the appropriate places. If she didn't love me anymore, I would let her go. I only ever wanted her to be happy, and I could stand the heartbreak as long as that was what she wanted. I quietly entered my room, gathered the stuff I would need and like a coward, I ran away.

At first I was aimless, just traveling away from my family. Then I realized I wasn't running away from my problems but towards them. I was heading back to Forks, and the lovely Isabella Swan. If I could get Bella to speak to me, maybe we could figure something out that would allow us to heal the family.

Maybe with Bella with us, Alice would love me again. I would have returned that which I had taken away from her. I could only hope that Bella still loved Edward after everything that had happened and would willingly go home with me to be reunited with him.

As I pulled into the drive of Chief Swan's house I felt a chill run down my spine. Something was off. I couldn't put my finger on it but something was very wrong. I decided to let myself in and instantly knew that not only was the house empty but it had been for at least two days. I rechecked the driveway to confirm that both vehicles were missing.

The freshest scent of Bella was in the kitchen. On the old worn table I found a note for Bella. Apparently Charlie was looking into the disappearances of a couple of hikers and was going to be searching the woods with some local hunters and trackers. He would be gone for the weekend. It was Saturday afternoon; he had left on Thursday morning. Bella had touched it; wherever she went she hopefully planned to be back by Sunday evening.

I went up to check Bella's room. I guess I was hoping she had left me a clue as to where she went or a way of getting in touch with her. It looked like a tornado had hit her room. Things were thrown everywhere and it seemed several items were missing from the closet and drawers. There was a faint scent of Bella in the room and a strange sweet scent near her window, it was fresh. Probably a few hours at most, it should be familiar to me but I disregarded it when I noticed a note on the computer. Three words were written in her tiny lettering but they sent another wave of icy terror down my spine. _I'm sorry, Daddy__._

I began to hyperventilate. Which was strange because I had no need to breathe, I found it oddly comforting to feel as if I was suffocating because that is exactly how my emotions felt. I quickly checked the rest of the house I had no idea what I was really looking for but it felt like I needed to do it. In the bathroom, I noticed that Bella had taken her shampoo, tooth brush and paste and her little bit of make-up. I began breathing again; maybe it wasn't as bad as I had thought. Maybe she was running away instead of killing herself. I still wanted to find her desperately. I added to her note that she was running away with a friend that was as heartbroken as she was, and that she would contact him when she could. I didn't put my name just in case things turned out badly, I didn't want to bring any further trouble to my family. He could know my name after I found Bella.

My concerns only increased as I checked the homes of Bella's friends. After that I checked ever house in the town and all the stores. No Bella. I finally drove along the border to La Push hoping to find that she was simply on the reservation. There was no trace to be found.

I was fully panicking now, I needed to regroup. I would make a list of other likely places she would go. I decided to first go to our old home, I could plan from there. I was distracted by my memories as I slowly wound down our old driveway. I parked in the garage and was immediately filled with relief; an old Chevy truck was parked within. My relief was slightly diminished when I realized the truck was left with the door open and Bella's suitcase was still in the cab. I could sense nothing, why would she abandon her truck?

I decided to check the house, maybe she had left a note or something for me to follow. I raced around the ground floor and found nothing but a stale scent of freesias. It was eerily quiet, with no signs of life within the house. As I moved into the living room the scent got just slightly stronger it was almost as faint as in the kitchen. It led to the stairs. It clung to the stairs and the walls on the right side of the hall as if she crawled up the stairs and used the wall to support herself.

I realized where she was heading and flew up to Edward's room. Her scent was the strongest here, as if she had rested against the door. Perhaps she had to collect her courage and steel her nerves in order to enter. I couldn't get a feel on her, or hear anything but I could smell that she had not made a trip back downstairs; I feared I would find her cold and lifeless body within his room.

I slowly pushed the door open and was totally shocked by what I saw. The room was completely empty, I even checked the closet. I knew she was here just not where. I noticed a flickering light under the door of the bathroom, a lit candle. I flew to the door and hesitated before slowly pushing it open.


	7. Behind Closed Doors

Author's Note: This chapter does contain a little lemon: nothing horribly graphic but I wanted to give a heads up.

Behind Closed Doors

I threw open the door and was instantly blasted by a coppery sweet smell. A horrible rusty red color covered the sink and floor, blood was everywhere. I had to force myself not to run; instead I held my breath and pushed all thoughts of licking up the sweet nectar covering the countertops to the back of my mind.

When the haze finally lifted, I noticed Bella lying in the bathtub, filled with reddish water. She was staring at me with glassy lifeless eyes. If my heart had been beating it would have shuttered to a painful stop right then and there. I couldn't believe that she had ended her life; I could see the deep scratches she had made on her arms. I don't remember falling to my knees or crawling pitifully to her side but I do remember when I broke down in uncontrollable dry sobs. I wished in this moment that I could have been human enough to shed real tears. As if in answer to my prayers, I felt icy cold drips of water falling into my hair and down the back of my neck. It was oddly tingling almost as if someone had placed their hand there in an oddly reassuring manner.

I glanced up to see Bella, her hand was now at the base of my neck, almost on my shoulder. It was the source of the tingling.

"Don't cry," She whispered. "I know it hurts, I feel it too. Nothing can stop the terrible burning but cold helps. Why are you crying?"

The burning!? I couldn't decide what she was talking about. So I simply stared. I couldn't believe she was alive. "Bella," I whispered afraid to disturb the quiet. I moved closer to her. "Bella, what happened? Why are you covered in blood?"

She stared at me for a few seconds before smiling slightly, almost as if I had told a joke. "I don't know, Jasper. Edward left, Jacob left. Laurent was in the woods, and then I was burning. I ran away and tried to scratch out the burning skin. I hoped I would just keep bleeding but the burning won't stop."

She held up her arms, to show me two perfect crescents, one a souvenir from James, the other fresh from Laurent. It wasn't a deep bite, hardly any venom had been injected, but it was enough to torture and torment for days. It would take more than a week for her to truly transform.

I pulled her from the bathtub and began to dry her off. My mind was buzzing with conflicting thoughts. I was brought from my internal struggles by Bella wrapping me in her arms. I was surrounded by an electrical current, more intense than the ones I had felt from her before.

"Jasper, I am so happy to see you. I know it was all real and not some vision sent by my imagination to torment me. It was all real, you really exist. I am not crazy. I can't tell you how happy I truly am!"

"You are not crazy, darling. Everything was real, just as real as I am standing here."

I had her sit on the couch. I found some dry clothes for us. The rain had picked up when I had left Charlie's but I didn't notice how wet my clothes were until I had carried her from the bathroom. The soaking clothes did not bother me but it was slightly uncomfortable and I didn't want Bella near me if I was wet, I didn't want her to get a chill.

As I peeled off my dripping shirt I was slammed into by a mountain of lust. I couldn't believe the intensity. Even Alice had never felt that strongly, her instinct was to react aggressively to my scars despite the love she had claimed to have for me. Animal instinct is impossible to ignore. Hell, in all honesty Emmett wasn't that lusty.

I glanced over and was surprised to find her eyes glued to my shirtless form, following my slightest movements. I felt extremely uncomfortable, not because I was repulsed by her reaction but because I welcomed it. I found myself watching her. I noticed how the sheet clung to her curves, the water leaving trails down her body. The cloth clinging even tighter to her breasts as it soaked up the drops from her hair.

I don't know how it happened, or who moved first but the next thing I knew we were standing in the middle of Edward's bedroom locked in a searing kiss. I ran my hands down the sides of her body to the curve of her bottom and lifted her up. Her legs instantly wrapped around my waist and locked her into position as her arms encircled my neck. I slowly moved back to the couch, carefully pulling the sheet away. Her hands tangled in my hair and the currents of electricity became even more intense.

I was kissing every inch of exposed flesh. careful to keep my teeth covered when I felt an insistent tugging on my belt. I froze, almost becoming a marble statue if it wasn't for my labored breathing. I knew with a small part of my mind we should stop but as she pulled away, I felt the need to draw her close again. She looked at me in hurt and confusion and begged me, so softly that without vampire senses I wouldn't of heard.

"Jasper, Jasper please, take the burning away, just make it go. I need to feel the icy cold of your touch."

That was my undoing. I helped her shed the rest of my clothes and the rest is a blur of tongues, teeth and nails. When we were both completely vulnerable; I looked deep into her eyes, silently asking for permission. She smiled at me and kissed me again, letting me know through her emotions that it was okay, that she wanted me as much as I wanted her. Once I was sure I slowly entered her, feeling her tremble just slightly from the cold. I was patient, relaxing her, both with gentle words and my emotions.

At first she was whispering my name like a mantra, and then she began to moan my name into my mouth. I tensed as I smelt the blood of her virginity but quickly relaxed as I was too far gone in the lust to give into my thirst. Instead I increased my rhythm, pouring my need for her into the link between us while taking in her need for me. It was an incredible experience. She was so warm and wet, her breathing ragged and her face flushed. I can't even remember it being this good when I was human.

I completely gave into my senses and we wove the waves of pleasure together, we exploded at the same moment, it was perfect. As I filled her with my icy release, I bit down hard where her throat met her shoulder. It was with her sharp intake of breath, that I realized my mistake.

She was panting heavily and unfortunately it wasn't entirely from the spectacular love making we had just shared. It was only as I pulled back to examine her that I noticed I had nipped her several times, small shallow bites but enough to have injected my venom. Only the one on her neck was deep but it was too late. I had let too much time elapse to try to suck the venom back out so instead I moved to the other bites and let the venom trickle in hoping that with multiple bites she would not suffer as much.

Now all I could do was wait for the future and pray that she would forgive me when she awoke to her new life.


	8. Trial by Fire

(Timeline: Jasper's return and Bella's transformation is around mid-January.)

Trial by Fire

I settled in to wait for the next three days to pass. I let images of making love to Bella flood my mind, recalled perfectly as only a vampire can. A part of me couldn't believe I had done this to my wife Alice, well my ex-wife, and my brother. On the one hand I knew it was wrong, but she had left me and Edward had left her. We did not owe them any loyalty. A small part felt guilty but a bigger part of me didn't care, I couldn't regret what happened. I had never experienced anything like my union with Bella. Not my love for Alice, or any of the pleasure I had while serving in Maria's army, and not even my first time or anytime after as a mortal man. I couldn't resist her and I didn't want too. My little bit of guilt at not wanting to stop was completely useless. I knew I would make love to her again, as often as she would allow me too.

I knew our bond was unique. We had shared several intense moments when she was a fragile human. Now after making love to her and stealing her innocence we had become even closer. The final act of filling her with my venom and becoming her sire in this new life only cemented the bond with a tangible connection.

She was my first and only offspring. Even with all my years as a vampire soldier I had never taken that final step. It seemed fitting that I could do what my beloved brother could not. I could change the human member of our family and make her existence with us permanent. After being the weakest one for so long it felt good to know that at least in one instance I could be around blood and even bite without losing myself and harming my victim.

I took her hand and was surprised to still feel the electric tingles. I wondered what it meant. It kept my mind busy as I waited for Bella to awake.

***Bella's point of view***(The events leading up to Jasper finding and changing her.)

Jasper had bitten me and the relief I felt was startling. I recalled everything that had happened over the last two days and my life before moving to Forks. I could remember my life in Arizona. Hot years spent in the sun in Phoenix with my mother, rainy summers filled with intense green in Forks with my father. I remembered Edward, his beautiful smile, his cold embrace; the cold hard and hateful look on his face when he left me broken, alone in the woods. I recalled my blank months and finally meting my sun Jacob, his carefree laugh, his warm smile, his easy ways. Then I remembered his frown, the hard set of his eyes and mouth, his angry sneer.

Finally I remembered, the beautiful meadow, with its almost perfectly symmetrical shape; Laurent standing in it, coming towards me, bringing his teeth closer to my shoulder. He touches my shoulder, I had tried to shield myself with my right arm and I felt a tiny prick, the feeling of two canines barely sinking into my skin, then suddenly it was gone and I was alone with a weird warm tingling in my arm. I realized I had been bitten and I could not go home to my father, how could I explain it to him.

I slowly drove to the only safe place I could think of. What use to be my second home, the large white house in the woods. The pain was spreading and becoming more painful but nothing like what Edward had described of how bad it had been when James had bitten me. I slowly pulled myself up towards my old lover's room. The pain was now like I was burning. I rested against his door, steeling my courage both to move and to see the space that had once belonged to the man I loved above all others. I dragged myself over to the bathroom and filled the tub with icy cold water. I tried to scratch out the poison in my skin but only left trails of blood. It wasn't working so I used a razor blade I found in the bathroom cabinet.

The intense pain that the razor left dimmed the odd fire but just briefly. I turned back to the tub seeking real relief. I sank into the water and watched as my blood swirled around me and turned the water a rusty red color.

Time no longer had meaning; I watched the flame of the candle I had lit. It caused the shadows on the wall to dance. Time passed slowly and I would periodically dig my nails across my cuts to keep the pain steady and keep the odd burning at bay if only for a few moments.

My sanity was slipping. My memories, I had been recalling them but they were fading fast. Then a golden haired god was kneeling next to me and was sobbing. I brought my hand over to rest on top his head and was surprised to find it was Jasper. I lost time and the next thing I know I am sitting on Edward's couch looking at the hard plains of Jasper's marble chest. I had never seen anything more beautiful that Jasper was; dripping wet and removing his clothes. I couldn't believe the heat that spread through me and concentrated in my stomach and between my legs.

He stiffened slightly and turned to look at me. His eyes were like molten gold and were darkening slightly with what I prayed was lust. The next thing I know we were kissing madly in the middle of the room and I had never felt hotter than I did right then, even when James' venom had seared through my veins, I hadn't felt the fire like this.

I couldn't think of anything I wanted more than for Jasper to just be closer, as close as he could get, I begged him willingly. Finally he gave me what I wanted and he sweetly made love to me. He nipped me a few times and it was painfully pleasurable. I felt the icy cold of his climax and it helped sooth a bit of the pain Laurent's bite had inflicted. Until I realized that he had sank his teeth into my throat, the fire poured into my throat and shoulder. I felt a sweet relief, I would finally be what I had wanted to since the day I knew what Edward was, a vampire.

Jasper looked horrified and I attempted to sooth him, he pumped more venom into my body in the shallow bites he had made, whispering apologies and the fire built. I couldn't tell him how thankful I was.

The fire had been raging for some time. It felt like an eternity but could have only been hours. It felt like fire was licking at my soul, turning my heart and lungs to ash. I tried to ignore it. I wouldn't allow myself to make a sound. I tried to hide in my memories, especially those about who had brought me to this eternal fire. I relived it all so that no pain could slip through my wall of remembering. The faces of my past flashed before my eyes: Renee, Phil, Charlie, Edward, Jessica, Angela, Mike, Edward, Tyler, Ben, Eric, Edward, Charlie, Renee, Esme, Edward, Carlisle, Rosalie, Emmett, Alice, Edward, Jasper, Jacob, Billy, Sam, Edward, Emily, Seth, Quil, Edward, Jasper, Embry, Paul, Leah, Jacob, Edward, Jasper, Edward, Jasper, Edward… and Jasper.

The images came faster and faster until only Jacob, Edward and Jasper remained. I remembered everything about them every sight, sound, emotion, feeling. Despite my feelings for Edward, my love and Jacob, my best friend they began to blur and fade into darkness. Only Jasper remained vivid and clear. I knew him the least but he remained after everything else had faded into oblivion.

I don't know what I thinking as Jasper had pulled me from the tub. The burning in my arm made it hard to think. I don't know why I wrapped myself around him, in such an intimate way. I had always felt a strange pull towards Jasper but had always attributed it to his natural charisma. I couldn't believe my physical response to his bare chest or how the fire moved lower in my body to my intimate parts. I knew he could feel my desires, burning hotter and brighter than any vampire bite I could have ever received. I relished the feel of his wet icy skin as I molded myself around him. I knew he could put the fire out and I focused all my energy on that. I knew all I had to do was ask him. Jasper's close proximity helped take the edge off the pain but I needed him closer and not only to cool the building heat in my veins.

His icy breath, so sweet, sent shivers down my spine, his tongue felt so nice moving against mine. The fire was still too hot, I felt a slight pain, and I moaned his name into his mouth and felt him slowly start to move both above and within me. I could feel his need become even more apparent when he began to gently nip me but he remained gentle and kept his touches soft and easy. Jasper was a patient and kind lover and I felt my insides coiling like a spring. I knew we both were close, then pleasure exploded in my body, leaving bright spots in my vision.

I felt Jasper's release like ice filling my core. It was only after he sweetly kissed me and began to lean back to study my face that I felt the burning begin again and worse than ever before. I gasped; Jasper looked scared and it quickly turned to remorse and pity before settling on resolve. He whispered "Forgive me" before plunging his teeth deep into my flesh where he had gently nipped before; crying apologies, between each bite. The pain was horrible but I wanted to thank him for doing what Edward didn't love me enough to do, to have changed me.

Goodbye Jasper, see you in three days...I hope. This was my last thought before the fire consumed everything into darkness.


	9. Arazil and Dagda Vampires

Arazil and Dagda Vampires

***Jasper's Point of View***

As I continued to watch Bella for minute changes, I could tell she was close to waking. She remained the same height but she had filled out, a little curvier, more in the bust line and hips though her waist was as tiny as ever. Her limbs were longer, toned, smooth and much stronger. She looked graceful and dangerous like an exotic cat. Her hair was thicker, wavier, had more natural highlights. Her lips were fuller giving her a sexy, pouty look, her cheeks were more defined and her skin had cooled to my icy temperature. Her heart was so faint, I could barely hear it but her labored breathing remained. She was exquisite, easily surpassing my mother and beloved Alice. Even Rosalie who was known for her beauty would have a hard time competing.

Bella was lovelier than Rosalie could ever hope to be, mostly because she had a beautiful heart and soul to match her lovely face. Rosalie was cold and shallow most of the time, all her true beauty was hidden behind an icy veneer.

I found myself wondering if Edward had ever told Bella the real reason that some vampires were so different from my family. Why I was different and why I truly struggled so to remain worthy to stay with them. I know that he told her of mates and how those of us with a vegetarian lifestyle form groups with more family like bonds but did he tell her the truth, the different between the kind Dagda and the fierce Arazil.

He had explained mates as eternal Husbands and Wives but that is only true of the Dagda, those vampires like Carlisle. I don't think he told her the truth about the real more primal relationships that form between mates and clans. How would I explain that while she would strive to live like the Cullen family, she would never find it as easy because she had been turned by a reformed Arazil. Try as I might, I will never truly belong with the Cullen clan and neither would she.

Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and Edward were all of the benevolent Dagda clan; kind, compassionate, humanistic and loving vampire. She and I would forever be separated by our natural malevolent natures, our thirst to dominate and destroy. The Dagda were a Celtic branch of vampires, named by the people of Ireland because they believed that they were "Good blood gods." They were viewed as helpful, less demon like than their cousins the Arazil.

The Arazil are older than the Dagda, they date back centuries before, often worshipped as demons, devils, and gods of war. The people of Israel had named us Arazil meaning "Angels of Death," after the Arch Angel Azrael.

My creator Maria, was the oldest Arazil in the Northern Hemisphere. She was created by the first vampire to ever be worshipped by the masses. After serving as a demigod for centuries she moved to a new world and became a god in her own right to the natives of South America, Central America and Mexico.

Our blood is closer to the source of vampirism, less diluted than the Dagda which is perhaps why we are more like demons. It is believed that vampires come from the union of demons and humans. As the lines were mixed more with humans they became more tamed and have greater humanity, than those of us that are closer to the source of all of the evil.

Bering closer to the source allows us to wield more power. The transformation is more intense, a soul tearing fire that burns with the intensity of the deepest hell; however our powers are often well worth it, as the powers will become greater as we age. We have more stamina for eternity because of it. Since fewer of our kind make it through the transformation. Power always comes at a price and for us it is a piece of our very souls, we are truly damned because we willingly give a small part of ourselves over to the evil in order to become more powerful.

As true vampires, we tend not to settle down like are tamer counterparts. Relationships don't mean the same things and we seldom have only one lover. I was wild and did anything and everything, I felt like before I met my sweet Alice. I had loved the power I had over life and death and I had no trouble utilizing them to suit my needs. Eventually though even my bloodlust was satisfied and no longer was I numbed to the pain and suffering that surrounded me. I began to drown in my gift, my over whelming loneliness broke my spirit. I decided to leave it all behind and make my own way in the world.

After meeting Alice, I felt hope for the first time that maybe I wasn't damned to eternal life and loneliness. I struggled to become the kind of man she wanted me to be and I kept my monster at bay in order to be considered a good vampire. It was so much harder to keep myself in check, the monster with in howled every time I was submissive to the other males in my family, roared when I listened to Carlisle's wants other than my own. It was always plotting ways to destroy them but my less monstrous side loved my adoptive father and my two brothers, so I silenced that voice within. Hoping that it might go silent and dormant as the ones in my family's hearts. I was truly the only monstrous one.

I hoped having someone more like me, someone who would understand the struggle, I went through to be good, would help me cope living in a house where everyone was elevated above me. It is not natural for an Arazil to stay in one place and have a wife. I married Alice and became her mate because of love, although it is unheard of in my clan, and she isn't the mate the monster in me chose but the man. That is a common practice in the Dagda; Carlisle married Esme just because he loved her and no other reason, the same for Emmett and Rosalie. I did for Alice but there was always a part of me that knew something was missing, but I wouldn't give up her love for that stupid voice.

I would have given almost anything to have been changed by Carlisle. Though we are all vampires, we are almost different races in the differences between us. Clans and families, mates and wives, choices and fated; everything is different and yet we are the same.

I glance at the clock and see it is almost time for the sun to rise. Just a few more hours until Bella will awaken. I estimate her becoming aware between twilight and midnight. My military back ground kicks in and I push stupid, nonsensical thoughts of Arazil from my mind. I haven't thought about those differences since I walked in to that little diner, so long ago. I need to decide our plan of action and what we will be taking with us.

I make a mental list of supplies we will need and move through the house in order to obtain them all. After Bella wakes I will ascertain her level of control, and quickly take her hunting. She will need to shower and put on fresh clothes because her old clothes will be covered in blood after the first hunt. The third stop will be the most difficult, what to do about Charlie. I can't take his daughter without some sort of closure for him and faking her death would literally kill him. Plus he wouldn't believe it without a body and I don't think a newborn could have enough control to lie quietly in a coffin with so many people around her and the whole town would attend her funeral. No, that isn't an option. Her running away might be slightly less harsh, but her dad is Chief of Police, he would never stop hunting her. Unless he knew she was safe and maybe she could stay in contact with him. Perhaps she could leave him a note, explaining why she left but not where and she could call or write to him in the years that she cannot see him. Her appearance is different but after a few years to gain control he might not notice the subtle changes. I will ask her when she awakes.

Another problem is my own family. The more I thought about the anger I will face when I return, the less appealing it is. Plus am I really ready to face my ex-wife and a brother that hates me. Carlisle will be understanding as always and congratulate me for not killing her. Esme will be thrilled to have at least two of her children back and probably all of them as soon as Edward finds out. Emmett will be happy to have his little sister, Rosalie will be selfish as always but I still couldn't face Alice or Edward, even if I had the rest of the family's support I didn't want to do it. I am tired of justifying myself to those two. Plus I would need to track them, hard to do with a newborn.

Alice should be blind to my actions, I hadn't made any real plans and I had tried to keep changing my mind as to confuse her visions. She might have seen me decide to bite Bella but she had promised Edward not to look into her future and Alice hated to see Bella these last few months because of how miserable she was. Alice couldn't stand to see her suffer but would show the visions in great detail to Edward whenever he came home, which is probably why we haven't seen him in months. Alice also had been having trouble seeing Bella, she had tried a few times but in these last two months she was usually met with some kind of block, as if Bella was cloaked in darkness. It was totally blank, not even flashes, I can only hope I am now under that protection which is why they have not broken down the door in order to rip me to shreds.

I pray that Alice remains blind to my activities until I decided to return to the Cullen family, and doesn't alert Edward that both Bella and I have disappeared from her sight. Sometimes my brother is entirely too intelligent for his own good.

It will be full dark in a matter of minutes and I haven't even gotten Bella any clothes. I don't have time before she awakes to go shopping; I hope one of the girls left some clothes that will fit. I try my old room first and am unsurprised to find a whole wardrobe full of clothing. I am surprised to find that a whole row of these clothes will not fit any member of my family. Perhaps Alice had bought these for Bella before she left and never had the opportunity to give them to her. I grab all the clothes and bags in that row, and a couple pairs of shoes and pack them into the suitcases leaving out two outfits; one for hunting and one for traveling.

I put one outfit in the bathroom and quickly put Bella into the other. She will wake soon and I want to immediately be able to satisfy her thirst. I burned the outfit she had worn when Laurent had bitten her and returned to my place to wait her to wake. I would not plan our future; we would simply have to take it one day at a time.


	10. Awakened Angel and Pesky Pup

Awakened Angel and Pesky Pup

The sun had finally fallen, and it had been full dark for a little over two hours. One minute she lies there like death and the next her eyes were open and staring at everything. She took in her surroundings before sitting up and acknowledging me. She looks out the window and whispered"We are safest at twilight" hearing her own voice seemed to remind her that I was sitting across from her and she refocused on me. I made no move to either touch or approach her. Newborns were known to attack without warning and I don't think a brawl would be the best way to start out our first memories together.

"Hi Jasper!" She ducks her head as she use to when she were hiding her blush. I realize now that if she could blush she would be. Her embarrassment flooded over my skin and caused me to chuckle deep in my chest. She glances at me shyly before launching herself towards me and hugging me tightly.

"I feel so strange; I have never felt this way before. I thought I would feel off but it all feels so right. I feel strong and graceful. I feel beautiful." She smiles and once again lowers her head.

I pull her chin up so that she has to look at me, and looking straight into her crimson eyes and trailing my hand across her perfect features and slender neck, I whisper:

"You are more than beautiful, you are divine." I gesture over to a mirror. She studies herself critically before smiling once more and doing a graceful slow turn to study herself in her entirety. Coming towards me again she stops a few feet away and studies me before announcing that she feels thirsty.

I take her hand and we both move towards the window. We race across the yard and leap over the stream. Disappearing into the forest like white streaks. As we approach a herd of deer her nose wrinkles and she asked me what that smell is. I can't help but laugh at her expression and explain where the deer are in proximity to us. She takes off without any further urgings from me. She is silent and crouched, instinctively stalking her pray and it is only after I have grabbed my own meal that I realize she is not going for the deer but the large mountain lion that is hunting them.

As clumsy as she had been as a human she was now graceful. It was highly erotic to see her sensual movements as she gave into her bloodlust and drank her fill. I was surprised by this response it had been a long time since I had appreciated the seduction of hunting. It was something that I had long since forgotten seeing as how in my new life hunting was often seen as something that must be done and quickly so we could return to our usual lives. I had blamed my earlier lust on her lack of proper attire and the positions of our bodies, my own weakness and her mouthwatering smell. I no longer had these reasons to fall back on but I wanted her now more than ever. I repeatedly envisioned myself pinning her to a tree or the forest floor and ravaging her, repeatedly.

As if sensing my thoughts she glances over at me. I am held frozen by her stare, she watches me with an indecipherable expression. Slowly she approaches me, dragging her nails across my shoulders and down my uncovered arms. I shiver involuntarily and take her small hand in my larger one. She stands at her full height and presses her lips to mine in a hard and unforgiving kiss. Filling my mouth with the taste of the cat's blood and my body with her wants she drags me back towards the house and through the window. My feet barely touch the floor before she straddles me on the leather couch and brings my fantasies to life. The only difference is instead of the forest floor it is a couch, the floor, twice in the shower and once in the closet.

After I finally get dressed and Bella takes another shower, actually washing this time, I head town stairs and am met with a foul odor. I check the front door to find it unlocked but not open. I carefully move into the living room stretching my senses and preparing for an attack.

Whatever is here they are trespassing. They have an odd animal like scent but very human emotions. I finally realize what chased off Laurent. He wouldn't have run from regular animals; this creature could only be a werewolf.

It is with this realization that I see him. He is sitting on Esme's white couch. He is larger than I would have imagined even in his human form, yet he is young. I would estimate fifteen or sixteen though he is now physically much older. He studies me as intently as I do him.

He is not aggressive and makes no move to approach but I am not deceived. He may be alone at the moment but the others might be coming. I know they are not too near for I cannot sense them. However I am wary of remaining with the pup so close; especially with Bella freshly awoken upstairs. I pray she does not come down; they won't be able to resist a fight.

I notice he is listening with his head cocked to the side slightly. A typical dog move, I would have laughed if I didn't know he was listening to Bella. I felt instantly protective. I would not allow him to harm my mate. He would have to kill me to get to her.

I was prepared to crouch and spring when a memory assaulted me. I knew this kid. His hair had been brutally cut off and he had grown, he had the russet skin of his tribe and he wasn't smiling like before but this is the kid that crashed prom and danced with Bella, her friend who told her about us. Jacob Black. He remains sitting as I slowly move forward, my hands in front of me in a nonthreatening gesture.

"Are you with the dark leech and the redheaded bitch," he growls softly. His emotions tell me he knows I am his enemy but not like they are. He knows I am a Cullen. I wonder why he bothers to ask.

"I am Jasper Whitlock Hale. I use to live with the Cullen family."

He snorts but doesn't immediately reply. He seems to consider me for a few moments. This is the one time I would kill to possess Edward's gift. Turning his eyes back towards the ceiling he bitterly response.

"How is she?" He chuckles darkly. "Rather what is she now?" He is smiling and still chuckling but it is without warmth or humor. His expression crumples and he is filled with sadness and longing. He is silent before sighing.

"This is my fault. I never should have listened to Sam. I knew she would understand; she dated a vampire for Christ sake. I should have told the whole pack to go to hell and kept my promise to keep her safe and always be her friend. I wanted to, I stayed outside her house protecting her and I have been waiting for her to return so I could explain and apologize. She shouldn't have gone in the woods alone. If I had just been faster, I could have saved her. Now not only am I a mystical creature from a horror novel but I am also a lying jerk."

I heard Bella giggle upstairs. She must be listening to everything being said. His emotions were complex and confusing. He is in love with her, desperately but he had settled into a platonic best friend, brotherly love. He would do anything for her. He was fiercely loyal and was a true protector. He is shamed by his behavior and truly repentant. He hopes she will forgive him for wronging her. He seemed to think of her as his mate. It made me roar on the inside but I know that it was wistful; she did not return his love. He also felt an overwhelming anger. It seemed to encompass everything. It reminded me a lot of how I usually feel in the darkest part of my being. I felt truly connected to this pup. Plus he loves Bella as fiercely as I do.

I think he could understand the battle that raged within me, a true kindred spirit. I must have got my wish because I swear I knew what he was thinking just by looking at him and examining his emotions. Maybe I had experienced an increase in power; I could know use my gift to discern thoughts. If I wasn't right, I was damn close. I could feel his dilemma. The treaty was broken and he was bound to protect the people and the treaty, he had to kill us and yet to harm Bella would be harmful to himself and he wouldn't ever consider the notion. He didn't know which loyalty to follow, which was the right choice, for him.

"Is the treaty broken? The Cullen coven is not here. I know two of you go by Hale but you and the small female were not here when the treaty was signed and never signed it yourselves. However you do live with the Cullen coven. She was already infected by the dark leech. I saw him go for her throat. I had just hoped he hadn't already bitten her but I figured when she didn't come home that he had."

"I am Jasper Whitlock. I took on Hale to go to school here, with the family. I did live with the Cullen coven and consider them family but I do not belong to their clan. I am of a different line. I am an Arazil, they are Dagda. The treaty was made as a blood oath, well venom in this case and since my blood line is different I am not bound by the treaty. Plus the original one who broke the treaty has already been disposed of. The Cullen family is unaware that I have returned. Only Laurent and I are responsible. I saved her from days of pain. He only put in a few drops of venom; it was spreading so slowly that she would of gone insane or committed suicide to escape from it. I was trying to save her from a fate worse than death."

Jacob stared out the back window for a long time, the internal debate continued. His frown deepened before he turned back to study me. I liked that he carefully thought about what he said instead of just lashing out a reply. Seeing my thoughtful smile made him slightly angry but he explained anyway.

"I hate your kind, naturally. The whole bloodline thing aside. I hate your brother for what he did to her and those other leeches for trying to kill her. I don't like that you have turned her but I won't hate you. I understand why you did it. I think we both want what is in her best interest and I trust that you are going to take good care of her. I want her to be happy again, I want her to be safe and whole. She is supposed to be my enemy but I can't hate my best friend and she will always be my best friend. I still love her and I want to protect her, even if it means betraying my pack and my heritage. It is all so mixed up but I will let no more harm come to her."

"Bella is still your best friend. She is just slightly more durable now, and smells like bad perfume. "

He laughed at that and nodded his head in agreement.

"The treaty is intact because I am not a true Cullen and neither is Bella. They cannot count you as a traitor because Bella will never be allowed to harm anyone. The pack has already dealt with the offender who bit Bella Swan and soon you guys can live peacefully because all the vampires will leave town again. I will take her away and make sure she is well looked after. She will be happy and never worry about her impending doom again. She will never be broken ever again, that I swear to you."

"It is just so hard to let her go; I still feel the need to take care of her, even though she could easily bench press a Buick. I don't know if I can stand to say goodbye forever. It hurts too much, I feel like I can't breathe."

"It doesn't have to be forever, just until she can be around others. I am sure you guys can talk to each other on the phone." I gave him my cell number and I programmed his number into mine.

Jake smile was truly warming and I could instantly see what drew Bella to him. He seemed so warm and genuine.

"I will keep the others away for as long as possible but you need to quickly get her as far as you can; at least until they calm down and see reason. I would also keep your family and friends away."

I quickly explained to Jake how I planned to cover her disappearance, we quickly forged a letter from Bella and Jake promised to sell the story to Charlie. He would tell Charlie of how Alice and I broke up, how I fled from Los Angeles back to our old home. How I would only see Bella. He would make it seem like she had been meeting me for a while and we decided to leave this town together when the memories became too painful for us.

"The whole town will buy it. It is the most interesting thing that has every happened, with the exception of a large family of weirdoes moving into a huge white house. It is like a soap opera, the town will eat it up! Two scorned lovers, turn to each other for comfort before running away together for a whirlwind romance." He laughed at the thought and I rested a little easier knowing the worse thing I was leaving behind is a little bit of scandalous talk.

He went quiet and seemed like he desperately wanted to ask something, he tried several times but would shake his head and look away. I finally couldn't stand his curiosity and tried willing him to ask; when that failed I confronted him.

"I will answer any questions you may have, what do you want to know?"


	11. Unexpected Confessions

Unexpected Confessions

He started at my voice, for someone so young he seemed to be very patient and consider everything carefully before speaking. It seemed that the werewolf temper would come and go, cycling between wisdom and instinct. Whatever he was looking for he must have found because he decided to speak

"Are you taking her to him?" The intensity of his hatred for Edward was staggering. I couldn't believe he felt that passionately about someone he didn't even know, and I had the feeling it had nothing to do with my brother being a vampire. His jealousy was at war with his intense curiosity.

"Not exactly" I was stalling. Trying to explain how we were going to run but eventually face the music and go back to my family. He expectantly raised an eyebrow. I guess he wasn't going to let it go, I had really hoped he would. "I am taking her away until she has enough control that she won't need to be monitored, then we will return to the family or she will be free to go her own way." I would follow her if she left, I would not abandon her to the cold desolation of eternity alone. I would leave my family if she found herself unable to cope with seeing them again.

She must have slipped off to hunt again because it was totally silent besides Jacob's breathing and heart rate. I prayed she went hunting as she had promised and would be gone long enough for me to speak with Jacob and get him out of here.

"He will be pissed off right? I mean he left so that she would be safe and human and all that bull. Won't he kill you when he finds out what you have done? I mean now he is stuck with her for all eternity."

I bit back a growl; it rumbled deep in my chest, too low for him to hear. I had the intense urge to defend her from these blatant lies.

"He will not be "stuck" with her, he will be extremely lucky to have her for his own. Besides I am a very good fighter; I can hold my own against my brother. It isn't an issue anyway. It would have eventually happened one way or another. Laurent poisoning her just made me act quicker; I was planning on turning her anyway. He didn't want to do it himself but he will be overjoyed to have her back and for all eternity" All I have to do is be unselfish enough to let her go when she wishes to return to him. "He left to protect her from danger."

"Protect her how, it doesn't seem to of worked out very well. I mean she was bitten by two vampires since he left. She was only bitten once the whole time they were together. I really hate to admit this but I honestly wonder if she wasn't better off with him, at least then there was good with the bad. I have tried to pick up the pieces and I love her like crazy but I don't think it would have ever been enough. He just damaged her too badly; she wouldn't trust herself enough to truly let me in. Though sometimes I think she wanted to. She spend lots of time with me but I think she was really looking for him."

"What do you mean, looking for him?" I didn't make the connection.

"She wanted to do all this stuff, ride motorcycles, cliff diving, talking to those guys in Port Angeles. It seemed innocent at first, but one time after she had fallen on the bike, she was calling for your brother. I think something about the danger connected her to him. I never told her I knew, if it made her happy I was happy but I think he seriously fucked her up; even if he did have good intentions.

"He tried to convince her that she could have a normal happy human life, that she could have grown, been married, had children and lived into a ripe old age, died a natural death and gone to heaven. He didn't want her to suffer eternal damnation. It is really had for him; he believes he has no soul. I have felt his love for her; He must have a soul to have a soul mate."

"I think he is right, he had no soul; and he destroyed hers."

I could feel his worry, he truly was furious at the idea of her being anywhere near Edward ever again. I wondered how long he had felt this for her. Edward would be very angry with me and probably hate me forever but I decided not to tell the pup that, we would show a united front.

"He will be angry I acted against his wishes but he will get over it when he sees her again. He is miserable without her and he will be so happy to be reunited with her and forever, that the bitterness of her being changed will not be as important. They will be together until the end of time."

I acknowledged the bitterness in my voice. I guess the swift ending of my relationship with Alice left me feeling inadequate and unsure of all I had believed to be true. She and I were meant to be always together. It wasn't supposed to end this way, it shouldn't have ended at all. My place was no longer sure without Alice. I had been living for Alice. Her family and friends were my family and friends. If there was no Alice, was I still Jasper. She and I had always been perfectly synchronized, but sometime in the last few months we fell out of sync, arguing all the time. She didn't love me anymore. I was the monster that had caused her to lose her best friend; all because I had lost control and tried to kill Bella. She could forgive me for my lack of control but not taking her friend from her.

I had been so confidant of returning Bella to the family and righting all of my recent wrongs but not I wasn't sure I could do it, the beast within was overjoyed with Bella's presence. It considered her a true mate. Alice would never measure up to my demonic standards but someone like Bella would be a fine addition to my bed. I would try to ignore that voice. I had been doing so well, but it was easier to ignore the little devil when I had an argument against him. Killing people is wrong, no matter how good their blood is. Swaying the voice with why we couldn't have Bella would be more difficult. It had never believed in my love for Alice but was totally supporting Bella, when she had made love to me, both the man and the demon were growling with want and purring in contentment as we had lain together afterwards. Dark Jasper said screw the wife that left you, your weak brother and Dagda family, he encouraged me to take my Arazil mate and run forever. He reminded me that I had the important vampire claims, we were from the same clan (bloodline) and I was her sire. I had already mated with her, if I would just accept it I would have all the real claims that my kind recognize. Arazil live above human laws and don't recognize human bonding ceremonies, everything is sealed with venom in our line. Nothing else matters. She was mine in every way that mattered; how could I allow the weak Dagda to take her from me. I tried desperately to shut him up, I had been stifling his influence for so long and I had thought I was winning but I think he was simply letting it go so he could pounce and catch me unaware. I was my own worst enemy. I tried to listen to Good Jasper. He said do what you know is right; ignore your base nature, be a good friend to her, act like a real man and take her back to her true love. Be good, if not for yourself or your family, do it for her.

Much to my shame, Dark Jasper was winning, because while Good Jasper protested he really wanted the same thing. I vowed to keep to the plan, take her away, then to the family. I deviated a little; I would step aside when I had to. I would keep her for now and enjoy what time she allowed me to spend with her.

By joining Carlisle; I had joined the house of Dagda. I had willingly joined the tame vampires and given up my wild ways, I wanted to be able to stay with Alice and that way the only way to do it. I choose human laws over my instinct. I had promised myself to love Alice and only Alice as long as we lived. I wouldn't die. She had divorced me but I couldn't accept that. Does that mean that Alice is no longer my mate, that I am free to take another. In Dagda laws they only have one mate, the soul mate. Everything else is just companionship, a paramour. Did I count as her soul mate meaning she could never truly mate with another or did I simply distract her while she waited for her real mate? I was terribly confused. I chose her and follow her laws but being away from it I found myself drifting back to my darker ways. I wanted the mate, I wanted. She was hunting in the woods. I could stop thinking about her no matter how hard I tried. Alice wasn't even in the back of my mind as she had been for decades.

In my clan, we traditionally have a mate and then lovers, an eternity is a long time and infidelity is often a problem among our kind. We accepted this about ourselves and have moved on. It was perfectly fine to have a mate and a harem of lovers; with both male and female vampires. We do recognize the true mate like the Dagda but we often use sex to form alliances, negotiate peacefully, and show affection. Sex is not on a pedestal as it was in the other line. It really didn't mean much unless it was with your mate.

I was completely absurd, Bella meant more to me than just sex but I couldn't admit what Dark Jasper wanted me to, if I didn't admit that the vampire in me had taken her for a mate it wouldn't be true. Right?

I just had to keep telling myself that I wasn't in love with her. All it was is a combination of loneliness, fear, and lust. That is all. Edward truly loved her and I was taking her to him. I was insane with jealousy just thinking about them together, I could believe I was being so possessive of her, it was almost obsessive. I would make myself crawl back to Alice and ask for forgiveness, it was the only way to reunite with the family and make us whole again.

I would blame all my craziness on Bella being my first fledgling, with all the time I spent as a soldier for Maria, training the newborns; I had never taken the final step and transformed someone. She was the first vampire I had sired, my fledgling Bella. She was simply on loan to me until my brother returned. She would go back to my brother happily, that is where we all wanted her to be. I could make myself believe that.

Jacob was staring at me like I was insane and I had no idea why. His emotions were all over the place. I finally turned to face him and realized not only had I been pacing around with my head in outer space but I had been muttering out loud. He had heard every part of my little rant. He turned his head back to the ceiling and it was still quite.

What a pair we made. He was perfectly still, watching the ceiling and listening for any sounds of her return and I was storming around like an idiot ranting about my unrequited love. He loved her just as my brother did and in that moment despite my general like for the pup he became a rival. Part of me wanted to quickly eliminate him as a threat but I didn't wish to harm Bella, and killing her friend would make her unhappy. He was watching me again and had decided to end my useless ranting with a question.

"So, you are in love with her too?"I scoffed at his question. If I did love her; it would be much more than simple love. Dark Jasper says "Just admit it." He seemed to read my mind. "It seems a lot like you imprinted on her. I mean the first time you really acknowledged her your whole world shifted. They say imprinting is like that. Once you meet your imprint nothing else matters to you and nothing ever will again; except making them happy and being there for them, in whatever way they need you to be. I know you are her lover, I can smell her on you but to our imprints we can also be brother, protectors and friends, whatever they need."

I think he was trying to make me feel better about stealing the innocence of my brother's girl. I didn't actually feel bad but he wasn't an empathic and didn't know that.

"She will be my brother's wife. Besides I am married… well actually we are divorced but I will be married again to Alice soon."

"It seems to me that you are trying to convince yourself more than me. Alice seems like a human love, while Bella seems like fate. The same thing happened to Sam. He really loved Leah, and she loved him but he couldn't stop fate. Fate picked Emily for him and he imprinted. He tried to ignore it but it was too strong. Emily needed him more than Leah did and he was powerless to refuse her. He hurt Leah, Emily and himself more by trying to deny it than by accepting it and move on with his real true love."

I nodded in understanding. He was trying to save us from pain and heartache. The kind I am sure he will be feeling himself as soon as Bella is gone from his life. He is quite smug though, thinking that I am stealing my brother's girl. I rejected the imprint idea, I would ignore it and it would go away, she was my brother's girl but even as I remind myself of this; Dark Jasper whispers "No, she is my girl, my Bella."


	12. Flight from Forks

Flight from Forks

After we worked out the last minute details of our plan Jacob left, in his human form and decided to walk around town for a while before facing the music in La Push. This would give us an hour or so to get out of the town before he heading back to the Reservation. He would explain to Charlie tomorrow about our "whirlwind romance" and I was planning to be on a difference continent by then. The plan was perfect, Bella didn't have to hurt herself or her dad by faking her death and Charlie wouldn't worry himself to death or waste time in a fruitless attempt to find her.

Bella would write regularly, and call on occasion to keep him from getting suspicious. We would send all letters to a lawyer I knew so that everything would be postmarked through Seattle. He wouldn't be able to follow our movements.

Jacob was a little unhappy that he didn't get to see Bella but she was too anxious to get close to him and was patiently waiting in the woods for him to leave. She seemed to fear attacking him, I don't think she would but she refused to take that chance and remained out of sight.

I felt an overwhelming compassion for him. He was in love with someone who would never truly love him back, in love with his worst enemy, someone who had become what he was bred to destroy. He couldn't help hating vampire; it is what they were made for, bred into them like a genetic trait. Yet, he couldn't bring himself to kill her. He couldn't hate her and wouldn't even try. He had more than breeding as a reason to hate Edward and myself. Yet he seemed to have no hostility towards me, a little resentment but no true malice. I was taking his love, I was the rival that he could face. I wondered what Edward was going to be like when I finally faced him. Jacob was actually grateful towards me for saving her. He wasn't anything like I had been led to believe about werewolves.

Maybe they had as many false legends as we did, all myths and very little facts. He wasn't a child of the moon, just a boy who was a little furry in love with a girl. I wish I had met him under better circumstances, he reminded me of my old friend Peter. A kind and gentle soul that had been thrust into a war zone and was forced to be hard and unforgiving in hopes to survive. I was hoping that the powers that be will be kinder to Jacob than it was to Peter. Peter had to go through hell to find Charlotte, just as I did to find Alice. I hope Jacob find his imprint before he is to jaded by the hatred that is meant to burn from within him for my kind.

Bella had entered the house and had quickly showered and dressed. She was getting the final items she would need while I took the luggage out to the garage. I looked at the vehicles we had left behind. I wished we had left a few of the less noticeable cars but then I remembered Esme's little vehicle. Carlisle had recently got it for her, it was an unusual color but not horribly flashy. It was a nice little family car and wouldn't draw too much attention to us.

I was about to call for Bella when I noticed my phone which had been lying in the seat had several missed calls. Several from Alice telling me how sorry she was and she wanted to explain why. She also could no longer see me and was really worried I had done something stupid. I ignored her calls. The last call was from my sister Rosalie. It simply said to let the family know if I was okay. I texted back telling her I had made a new friend that could keep others from sensing me. I needed to be alone for a while and I would come home when I could.

I appreciated Rosalie's concern. I had always known she wasn't as shallow as she let everyone believe since I could feel her emotions but I never really appreciated how much she cares for us, all individually not just the family as a whole. I would be much nicer to my sister in the future, when I finally saw her again.

I had discovered earlier that while I could still sense emotions I was unable to affect Jacob's. At first I believed it was a wolf defense but later when I recreated the experiment with Bella, attempting to sooth her anxiety, the same thing happened. However when she was relaxed, I was able to manipulate her emotions again. I knew then that she was unconsciously shielding not only herself but Jacob. She kept me from altering emotions but not reading them, that way I could know if he was close to losing it but not push him out of control. This must be why Alice could not see me. Bella was blocking herself and me from everyone. They were blind to our activities as long as Bella continued shielding us.

Bella once again appeared at my side and placed her small bag into the car. Alice would have had several large boxes, plus the suitcases I had already loaded. Thinking of Alice was painful and I pushed her out of my mind again.

I decided we would drive to the east coast and book the next flight out of the country. I had to be careful where I went. My family was in Alaska so Canada had been eliminated from my choices along with North and South America and Mexico. Edward was still in South America and I would never let Bella close to Maria's territory. Since she owned all of Mexico it wasn't safe for us. I also wanted to avoid Italy as the Volturi were there. That let most of the other countries open. I decided we would see the ancient world, places where time stood still before moving into the more modern cities. I told her my plan and allowed her to pick the first destination. She used my laptop to order the tickets and I was surprised when she had picked Egypt for our first stop.

I found myself excited to be showing Bella the world, I was also excited that she seemed as interested in the past as I was. I had been around the world with Alice but we often focused on big cities and we followed fashion week and designers. This trip would be different we would explore natural wonders, ancient man's incredible feats like the pyramids, the Patheon; we would explore the savannah of Africa and sample all the delicacies we couldn't find at our home. I had always wanted to drink from a real lion and maybe even wrestle a crocodile.

This would be the most fun I had in decades; we were going to see everything there was to see and go wild in the great wildernesses of the world. There was nothing that we wouldn't try. I felt the excitement bubble within me. This is how I felt when I had run away from home and enlisted in the confederate army. I hadn't felt his alive since I was a soldier.


	13. Missing Memories

Missing my memories

***Bella's Point of view***(In the car on the way to the Airport)

I was having trouble remembering who I really was. Everything was a chaotic, flashes or color and sounds and feelings. I knew I was Bella, and I knew the man beside me was Jasper. I knew he wasn't really a man but a vampire.

He made me what I am. He was there with me when I was hurt, some kind of fire in me veins. I had been with him in the most intimate of ways and it felt totally natural to do so, even though my memories of both him and my life were incomplete. I wasn't afraid though, I knew him, I had distinct memories of him, and he at the very least was my friend and could be trusted.

He was what caused the flames to flicker back to life, I had tried to drown them in the tub, it was his venom that allowed me to change and be released from the torment of the other's bite. I had been burned from the inside out for days. It felt like the very fires of hell were licking at my soul, burning it to ashes after it had been shredded by some kind of demon.

Jasper was there when I awoke. He helped me learn how to rid myself of the pain in my throat. We have made love several times and afterwards he spoke to the man who smelled badly. I felt the need to protect myself from this man, an instinctual reaction from the demon within but I recalled he was familiar, a Native American boy who way more of a man than his young years implied. Jacob Black, my best friend, who I now know is a werewolf.

I could remember most of my human life clearly, seen through weak human eyes but recalled with perfect vampire clarity. I could see Renee and Phil in Phoenix. I can recall Charlie and some of my mortal friends in Forks. There is a large blank space, something goes in this hole, in some memories. I can see Jasper in the darkness but all around him remains in shadow. Then everything is blank, this time is before Jacob but after my human friends. I recalled my memories of Jacob Black.

When I was a child and then later when I was an adult. I always seemed sad and broken in these later memories though it seemed that Jake seemed to help with some of the pain I was in. I wondered why I was so sad. It didn't matter I couldn't remember it so I left it alone and focused on the happy memories with Jake. I had loved spending time with Jacob and the pack. I could feel my love for them and yet I couldn't recall any memory in the last few months that Jacob wasn't in. I think Jake was more than a friend, or maybe he was going to be. We had a falling out and now I am his mortal enemy, yet he was willing to protect me. Perhaps we were still friends after all.

If I was always with Jake these last few months how did Jasper end up as my mate? I decided I wouldn't worry about the past I couldn't remember. It would come back or it wouldn't, I didn't need anything else but Jasper.

We were driving away from the white house, in the small rainy town to destinations unknown. I am very excited but I keep feeling this odd tugging at the back of my mind. I think it has something to do with my memories, I strive to ignore it.

The more I attempted to push it away the more it pushed itself into my mind. I see shopping with someone I dearly loved, but I cannot see her face or even recall her name. There was someone who walked beside me, holding my hand, kissing me, someone I wanted in the most intimate of ways desperately; that man isn't Jasper. His hair is a strange coppery bronze, in wild disarray. I am haunted by the melody of a piano, playing a lullaby that causes me intense longing and pain. My emotions for Jasper are intense, they are confusing and a little scary yet I know that the emotions I feel for him, at least right now, are not the intense love I am capable of. The type of love I had once shared with the man I cannot remember. I wonder where he is. He is clearly a vampire, I can clearly recall his pale iciness, why is he not here beside me? Why am I unable to recall his face? Why does his memory cause an intense pain in my very soul?

***Jasper's point of view***

Bella is very confused, when I had found her all she felt was a gut wrenching pain. Now with whatever she is thinking is becoming more troublesome because the pain and the frown she wears are both deepening. I am trying to guess but I cannot fathom what would be making her feel this way. The emotional anguish she felt was staggering, along with the crippling loneliness and love and longing for Edward. Then it all vanished.

All of the emotions she had been feeling were gone. Now we both felt nothing but confusion.

"What are you thinking about?" This simple statement sent a jolt of shock and pain through her and I almost smacked myself for using my brother's line. I felt her curiosity at her response but she answered anyway.

"I was thinking about my life and how much I'm missing." she seemed terribly sad now. I was sorry I had asked for an explanation. I was ever sorrier that I couldn't have left her human and allowed her to have the experiences she was missing.

"I am sorry I couldn't save you and change your fate. But you don't have to worry none about that Darling. You can now do anything you want Sugar and you don't have to worry about money or death every again. I will take care of you forever and I will give you anything you want, it is the least I can do for what I have taken away. The possibilities are endless, Honey."

She stared at me for a few minutes before shaking her head in the negative. She laughed slightly.

"You don't need to be sorry; there is nothing to apologize for. I believe I have everything I have ever wanted. I am not missing the future but a good portion of the past. I mean I am missing memories and I think they are very important, I think I am missing the most important parts of what has brought me to this moment."

I was stunned. I knew vampires would often forget their past but it usually happened over time and usually only memories they didn't recall into their vampire minds. She was missing the last year but particularly the last few months. I couldn't believe she didn't remember him at all.

"Earlier when you asked what I was thinking it hurt, I can remember flashes of people and for some reason that question bothered me."

I felt like I was hit by a truck. The things she couldn't remember all must be involved with the pain she was in from us leaving, the pain Edward had caused her. Her mind is protecting itself from shutting down the way she had when we left her alone, keeping her from returning to zombie Bella. Thank the powers above that Jacob had filled me in about what had been going on in the months I had been away.

The confusion came from her inability to remember. My problem now was do I let her remember on her own or do I fill her in on what she is missing and pray she doesn't over load. Thinking back to the depressive state she had been in I decided to let it come back to her slowly, if she didn't start to remember, I would simply have to fill in the gaps. I was sure her mind would fill in the blanks slowly, letting her process and deal with everything.

"Well, Sugar, the last few months have been very hard for you. I think your mind is giving you the time it needs to relax and deal with everything. I am sure you will remember when you are ready and if not I will fill you in. Don't worry; let's have fun on our little vacation."

She nodded and went back to watching the trees race past. The confusion faded and she became enraptured by nature. I chuckled at how easily I had won that battle and wondered how long it would take for the stubborn Bella to reappear.

As we sat in first class on our way to Cairo, Egypt I wondered what our story should be. I didn't want to do the whole sibling bit, I wondered if she would mind if I introduced us as a couple. We were old enough to be traveling alone and I decided we would be newly wedded and on our honeymoon around the world. Being married would make us slightly more notable and I was trying to stay below the radar but I already had the passports that said we were twenty two and married plus people wouldn't be likely to see a whole lot of us; they would expect us to spend all of our time in bed. Our looks alone will be getting us a lot of attention, being a handsome couple. Being a few years older than we looked made people less suspicious of us. I worried about Bella's orange-red eyes and jerky movements.

I stayed focused on keeping her calm but she seemed in be in control and still satisfied from earlier. She didn't seem to need my help but it made me feel better to be doing something so I kept the feelings of calm flowing.

It was a relief to not be fighting her thirst and mine, as I so often had to do around my family. We were both full and content and it was the best feeling in the world, especially considering we were surrounded by humans. I was extremely lucky she wasn't wild and uncontrollable as I had expected her to be.

She was amazingly calm for a newborn Arazil, especially being so close to the source. He was truly gifted and I was impressed with her control. I would try to be more like


	14. Flashbacks and Gifts

Authors Note: This chapter contains a lemon, it is not needed for the story and can be skipped. I will mark it.

Flashbacks and Gifts

***Jasper's Point of View***(April)

In the months that followed, Bella and I traveled the ancient world. We met up with many others of our kind. Bella just seemed to gravitate to them, or else they were drawn to her. I had never met so many vampires in such a short time span. We traded news and knowledge with all those we met. I learned that my brother Emmett and his wife Rosalie were on a honeymoon in Mexico. I also learned that my parents were with my ex-wife in New York but they were going back to Alaska soon. I heard whispers about my brother Edward but it was kept quiet and we never spoke of him in from of Bella.

Bella had yet to use her power but I knew it was lurking deep within her. A nomad marveled at how easily she had found him, I had been guessing she was just unlucky but when he also commented I began to ponder it. She was cursed to be surrounded by vampires, after that encounter I began to watch her, I quickly discovered the cause of her success, she was a gifted tracker. I couldn't explain it. She had never had any skill at stealthy movements, or finding people or places as a human. She seemed to acquire this skill during her transformation.

We had always been told you brought your gift over from your life, as it had always held true, until now. That is what Carlisle told me and he had studied our kind for centuries. It was very strange and worse yet, I could not ask Carlisle for his advice because he wasn't yet suppose to know what I had done and if I told him he would demand to see her.

As I pondered this I told her that her skills reminded me of Demetri of the Volturi; an exceptionally skilled tracker who could find anyone, anywhere.

"I remember him... dark haired, red eyed, handsome in a seriously creepy way. He is a tracker, like James. Hmmm maybe my body remembered the venom and let me keep James' power." She continued to look out the window and didn't seem all that interested in her powers.

I nodded in agreement but I continued to wrack my brain to see if I knew of anyone else that had been bitten by two vampires. No, they might have been bitten by more than one vampire but it was after their own transformation or they died from the bites. I realized when James bit her, Edward sucked the venom out. However while we drink our venom flows in so he actually drank his own venom and that of James. I made a mental note to look out for extra powers she may develop.

Four vampires had bitten her prior to her transformation; James: the tracker, Edward: a mind reader, Laurent who had unknown powers and myself, an empath. She wasn't reading minds yet, at least that I knew of but it might show up at anytime. It would be dangerous for her it be so powerful, the Volturi would want her for sure. However, Edward didn't let his venom really seep in before sucking it back out so she may not be able to use his powers. She didn't really need my powers. Bella had always been very good at reading others emotions and her gentle nature was soothing and helped to inspire a sense of calm.

I didn't think she was interfering with my emotions with a gift but I hoped she might learn how in the future. I was disturbed by Laurent, he was a member of a coven of three and two of them had known powers. I am sure he had one but he didn't use it or didn't have control over it. Since he didn't aid James, we had let him leave peacefully; something that turned out to be a grave mistake. He had gone to Denali, and had made a mate of Irina. I wanted to call and ask her about him but I didn't think the fact that her mate had been killed for trying to harm mine would go over real well. I mean that he was killed for trying to harm Bella.

Something about our conversation bothered me. I kept going over Bella's answers and couldn't pinpoint what disturbed me. Then it hit me like lightening. She remembered Demetri, a Volturi guard but we had never gone to Volterra and hadn't met up with any guards.

"Darling, how do you know Demetri? Did you meet him before I came back?" I know I had not seen Demetri in decades.

"What? Oh, he was at that Goth club we were at in Paris; while we were otherwise engaged." She stumbled over her description of the nights activities.

Several decades ago when I had first join the family, Emmett, Edward and I had a boy's night in order to bond. We had gone to a club after a night of hunting and we discovered that if we consumed enough alcohol we could feel the effects and be somewhat inebriated. It was this memory that led me to take Bella to the club after we hunted that evening. I had been highly affected that night.

***Flashback***(About 2 Months after leaving Forks)

That night we danced under the multihued lights of the Gothic club Ambrosia. Warm bodies were dancing all around us filled with the aroma of blood, alcohol, and sex. Along with my partial impairment with whiskey and vodka; I was drunk on the emotions of all the mortals that filled the club, I was not acting like the southern gentleman I was raised to be.

Bella and I were swaying to the music, her in a tight black pleated miniskirt and an emerald green corset. She was rubbing her hands suggestively along my body and grinding her butt across my groin, along with all the other couples that surrounded us, I lost control.

I pulled her towards the private rooms upstairs, and up a flight of maintenance stairs. We were above the flashing lights of the club, where no one could see us but we could watch all of the mortals dancing below us. I had her wrapped in my embrace.

*** Lemon begins***

I slowly slid my hand down her sides, almost to her knees, then ever so slowly I lightly traced backup her leg along her inner thigh and up under her skirt. I gently grazed my hand across the already warm and moist cloth keeping me from touching her hot core.

At a tantalizingly slow speed I slipped a finger underneath the silken cloth. All the while I am licking, sucking and kissing along her soft neck and shoulders. I shivered listening to her pant and whimper. I wanted to hear my name being moaned through those deliciously red lips. So I began to rub the one spot I knew would have her begging me for more. Her breathing hitched and then became faster and she began to moan quietly. I increased the pressure and frequency, soon she was gasping for air but I still wasn't satisfied, I wanted to hear my name. She was getting closer and beginning to breathe my name but it still wasn't good enough. She had to call it out loudly before I would allow the sweet torture to end. I slowed my ministrations and she whimpered at the loss of friction.

"Jasper, please" She seemed to be having trouble both speaking and remaining in her feet. She learned back into me.

"Please, what Sugar? What do you want me to do Honey?" I could barely contain myself. Too much lust was building up between us and combined with the others within the club I was ready to explode. We needed to get somewhere where we could finish this properly.

"Please Jasper, I need you. I need you right now Jasper." I could feel the lust building. She was fueling my desire and I was pouring it right back into her. We would need to go soon or I would take her right here. We both needed a release.

I quickly slipped a finger into her and soon followed it with a second, and began to pump quickly in and out of her. She was so tight and wet it drove me insane and I couldn't wait to be inside her. I inserted a third finger and began to thrust the way I planned to do later. I curved my finger slightly, knowing she would quickly be seeing stars. After a few deep thrusts at vampire speed, I could feel the muscles tightening around my fingers and she lost the ability to stand; using the railing to keep both of us upright. She growled my name and begged me to take her from behind, right there. I really wanted to but I wasn't yet done playing my little game.

I worked my hand a little faster and increased the pressure, rubbing small circles with my thumb knowing she needed just a little more to push her across the edge.

"God, Jasper, yes; please, take me now, I need you." She begged me. Her orgasm rocked through both of us. It exploded in my vision; I was guessing she was in outer space since I was seeing stars. I was extremely pleased with myself.

She spun around to face me, grinding her pelvis against my rock hard erection and smiling devilishly when I moaned in reply. She crashed her lips into mine, pressing even more firmly against me and muffled my cry of her name with her mouth.

*** End of Lemon***

Grinning like an imp, the little vixen ordered me home so she could return the favor. I didn't need to be told twice. I raced us down stairs and went to retrieve the car. When I returned she had been unsettled and a little afraid but had pushed it aside allowing her desire to once again take over. Brushing the hair from my eyes she smiled.

"Are you ready for a rodeo, cowboy?"

I laughed and in my best southern drawl answered.

"Yes, ma'am. I sure am."


	15. The Past better left Forgotten

The Past better left Forgotten

***Jasper's Point of View***(April)

She was smiling at me; having just witnessed my memories of that night. I had discovered her gift was slightly different from Edwards. She was able to view the memory while feeling the emotions behind it. She could also project her thoughts to others so we were capable of having entirely silent conversations. She was also capable of searching your mind, her gift was much more advanced than my brother who could only see what you were seeing at that point in time but not as powerful as Aro who could see everything you had ever thought.

I was silently thankful that she couldn't see everything and that she had to concentrate to use it and it wasn't on all the time like my brother's gift. I preferred to keep my thoughts as my own.

I figured she had seen a memory of someone at the club which is the most logical explanation, the gift had recently emerged and she doesn't have complete control over it yet. I hadn't noticed the Volturi guard but there had been several other vampires there that night. I could have missed the ones I wasn't familiar with.

I didn't share my concerns with Bella but I was almost positive that she had received a gift from every vampire that had bitten her. James' and Edward's gift had already shown, I was waiting for mine to show up though it may just end up being the ability to sense my emotions and the emotions of people's thoughts. I think her gift from me will be better than that but I don't want to disappoint her if it isn't. The gift I fear the most is Laurent's. We thought he was powerless but he traveled with two gifted companions. I was positive he had a gift or James would have thought him useless.

*** Bella's point of View***

I am now able to recall several of the crucial people I had forgotten. They all lived with Jasper in the big white house, Cullen Manor. Jasper's family and they use to be my family.

I can clearly see a beautiful blonde woman; she is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She doesn't like me; a graceful frown covers her features every time she looks in my direction. I don't remember why she feels such animosity towards me, we are not very close. She pretends to be Jasper's twin sister; her name is Rosalie Hale Cullen.

Rosalie is always wrapped in the arms of a big burly man, with curly black hair and a dimpled smirk. Her husband is enormous and bear like, which is funny because not only is it his favorite meal but he is also like a giant teddy bear. He likes grizzly fresh out of hibernation so he can have the fun of wrestling with them before he devours them. He is intimidating and loud, but also playful, graceful, caring and loves to make me blush; my favorite protector and big brother Emmett.

I clearly remember another couple. Esme, my mother, my real mother the one who cares about me and looks after me; the one who acts like a parent instead of a best friend. I recall her beautiful caramel colored hair and heart shaped face. She loves all of her children equally and takes great pride in their accomplishments. I can picture her smiling and standing next to Carlisle, the patriarch of the family. The younger, better looking brother of Zeus, the movie star in the lab coat; his blonde hair brushed back, his compassionate smile and kind eyes, the good Doctor Cullen.

Jasper has always been clear in my memories though before he was surrounded in darkness. Now that I remember most of the family the darkness has mostly faded and I can see the scenes clearly. I know there are two others in the family. A male and a female, I can see everything but their faces, thinking of them hurts me. I know I love them but I really don't want to remember them, thinking of them causes me pain and I am pretty sure I would be better in the long run if I didn't know why.

I confide everything in Jasper; he always smiles gently and kisses the back of my hand. I can see the worry in his eyes though; whatever happened with these two people is bad enough that he worries whenever I even see flashes of them.

Even his slightest of frowns causes me to feel uneasy. I don't like the serious brooding Jasper, it makes me nervous. I like the fun loving and smiling Jasper. Brooding men are a really bad sign. I don't know why it disturbs me so, but I never want to see Jasper with that look again.

My feelings for Jasper have been growing in these last few months. I have pretty much forgotten about the mystery lover that he warned me about, but secretly I think he is pleased that I don't seem to care about the other man. Every time we make love it brings us closer together and with as many times as we have been together in the time since I woke in this new life we should practically be the same person. Sleeping with Jasper wasn't just about sex anymore, it was more than just lust or the weird connection we seemed to have.

I really had feelings for Jasper and I hoped it was more than just physical for him as well. The truth of the matter was that I was more than falling in love with Jasper. It went so much deeper than mere love. He was quickly becoming everything to me, and I could not imagine eternity if he was not next to me every day of it.

***Jasper's point of View***

I was glad that she was starting to remember our family. It really hurts to be away from them but I couldn't face them yet. At least not until she remembers everything, I also didn't want to admit the shame I felt of creating another soldier for my destructive clan. I was almost disgusted with myself, especially because I was also glad that I had someone who could totally understand me. Turning her was better than the alternatives, I couldn't have let her die or suffer insanity for my mistakes.

I knew I would need to remind her of Edward soon but we just kept getting closer and closer and it was hard to admit to myself that it might soon end, she would be furious with me for keeping him from her and she will never wish to see me again.

The thought of not being with her or holding her in my arms was physically painful. I didn't want her to remember Edward because I didn't want to let go of her, she was mine as much as I was hers, I couldn't let her go; yet I knew I would. If it was what she wanted I would let her go and do my very best to be happy for her even if it meant that I was miserable.

I would also need to remind her of Alice. That part was painful for me and I wasn't sure if I would be able to talk about it. I hoped I could explain but I knew that if she didn't remember Alice on her own, I probably wouldn't ever tell her.

I didn't want to break her heart again. Edward had broken her enough; she didn't need any more heartache or a man keeping the truth from her. I sighed internally, I would have to tell her no matter the pain it caused me, I never wanted to treat her the way my brother had.

I hoped Bella would understand and not be hurt by our relationship when she remembers my ex-wife or her ex-boyfriend. I know I am not her chosen mate, hell I don't even think she considers me her boyfriend. We are both deeply in love with the ones who left us but I know that at least for my part I am missing my mate less and less and falling for my lovely Isabella more and more.

She was the most important thing in my universe, and I wouldn't stand for something to happen to her, I couldn't stand it if someone were to harm her. I realized I needed Bella, I wasn't just painfully attracted to her but I needed her to function properly. We could be happy together, forever but I don't know if it would be the earth shattering love she had for Edward. I mean she was a human and willing to give up everything for him and he battled his need for her blood, resisted his singer because of his love for her. What could I offer? I had attacked her as a human driving away her lover and then condemned her to this life through my own selfish desires. Yeah I would forever be content with her blissfully happy and totally in love for the rest of eternity with her by my side but I worried she would always pine for my rival, my beloved brother Edward.

I vowed to myself to tell Bella the truth. I would wait a while longer hoping for her to remember but if she didn't soon I would breakdown and tell her everything. Even the feelings that I had been trying desperately to hide and ignore, barely admitting them even to myself. All would be laid bare before her.

If she did not return my love, I would attempt to fix things with Alice and step aside for Edward. Even if it was impossible for Bella and I to be together, we could still be companions and friends. Maybe someday she may even regard me as family, a brother. This idea didn't thrill me. I wanted to be her boyfriend, lover. In all honesty I wanted to be her husband and mate. No matter what she and I would be in each other's lives. Unless she ordered me away but even then I would always be waiting for her to summon me back.

I pray that she forgives me for not telling her about Edward right away.


	16. Convenience or Fated

Convenience or Fated

***Bella's point of view***(July)

I had been watching Jasper for the last few miles. We were driving through the country side of somewhere in Western Europe but I am not certain where. The lush green reminded me of Forks, only it wasn't raining here; at least not right at this moment.

As much as I detested the wet and cold, I had begun to enjoy the light showers and mist that often covered my home. I now found the rain in that sleepy little town very soothing.

Jasper was deep in thought again; his forehead was creased with a deep frown and he was brooding. I sighed, I hated when he got all moody and emo. I think it is an empath thing. This frown becomes more pronounced whenever he is a strange mixture of angry and guilty with a dash of sorrow. I wanted him to smile again. Maybe he just missed Forks, his family, or maybe it is just missing Alice.

I never understood how Alice could be so bright and perky all the time. I wondered if she was always bubbly to make up for Jasper's brooding. He seems happier when he didn't have to deal with her high spirits; perhaps her happiness over road his own.

I felt a jolt go through me. I finally remembered who the small female of the Cullen family was, and why I couldn't remember her. She was my best friend and she had left me all alone. She often took me shopping which I hated and did my hair and makeup, something else I hated. She could see the future and kept me from dying of embarrassment when James had attacked me and I had needed help to shower and dress. Charlie was eternally grateful to not have to help me and loved Alice like a second daughter; the girl who is married to Jasper.

Oh, my God. My Jasper was really Alice's Jasper. Jasper was Alice's husband. Alice was Jasper's wife. They had been together for decades. I was not only having mind blowing sex with her husband but worse I am in love with him.

I feel so ashamed and dirty. I am unbelievably guilty, even if she did abandon me it didn't give me the right to sleep with her husband and destroy their sacred vows of matrimony. I am freaking out. I ordered myself to calm down so as to not alert Jasper to my recently recovered memories. I began to wonder.

Where was Alice? Why wasn't she here? Why send Jasper with his lack of control to help me, instead of coming herself? Had she had visions of us and now hates us for what we did? Does Jasper talk to her behind my back? How come he never talks about her anymore? Why would he start a relationship with me, when he adores her so much?

I realized in that moment that might be why he has never told me he loved me. He didn't want me to be broken hearted when I remembered his wife. I still didn't understand why he didn't refuse me, he loves Alice and he is not the cheating kind. What had happened to them in my absence?

I turned to find Jasper already studying me. Stupid empathic vampire, reading my emotions and knowing I wasn't as calm inside as my face appeared. He smiled hesitantly; almost as if he expected to be slapped. When I didn't speak or return his smile he decided to break the silence.

"What did you remember?" I noticed he didn't call me Sugar. He must have sensed my anger and known his usual endearments would have pissed me off.

"I remembered a little pixie by the name of Alice."

"Is that all?" He replied pleasantly as if we were discussing the weather.

"Yes, isn't that enough!?" I didn't understand the question. I mean she is his wife and I, his current lover, or mistress or whatever had just found out about her. Why wasn't he freaking the way I was?

"What have you remembered about Alice?" I hated how calm he was, he wasn't even trying to use his gift on me. What the hell!?

"Everything." I announced shortly. "You know like her being my best friend and your wife."

"Yes, well. Alice and I are divorced. After we left we were alone for quite a while. We hardly ever spoke. It was when we moved back in with the family that the fighting started. Alice and I had never fought before, at least never anything like that. She was ashamed of me and what I had done. She regretted taking an Arazil as her mate instead of finding a calmer Dagda. She would never admit it to me, but I could feel how she felt towards me and I knew she no longer loved me. She blamed me for the loss of her best friend and forcing the family to abandon you."

This only made me feel about a hundred times worse. She was upset and missing me and I had forgotten all about her and been sleeping with her recently divorced ex-husband. I had rewarded her loyalty with betrayal. I mean she did leave me but at least she didn't jump into bed with my husband.

"She was very unhappy with me. So after finding the divorce papers, I gave her what she wanted and I left. I was wondering at first but I quickly decided that if I could return you to your rightful place in our family that everything would be okay again. I hadn't counted on being attracted to you or falling in love. My feelings for you are complex and cover a wide spectrum. I want to be in your life and I will fill whatever space you will allow me. I know I had always kept my distance when you were a human but that was always because I feared harming you. I always felt like you were a part of our family and I had felt strangely connected to you even then. Please at least let me remain your sibling."

"I am not upset with you Jasper and you can be anything to me that you would like to be. I am still in love with you even if you are recently divorced from my best friend. I just don't know how I am ever going to look her in the eyes again."

He went on to explain some more of the differences between the two main races of vampires. He seemed almost embarrassed that we were not of Carlisle's house but I wasn't ashamed of our differences.

"Well, you don't need to worry about that none, Darling. Vampires, especially Arazil do not have the same issues with morality that humans possess. When you live forever it is not uncommon to have more than one lover, especially because vampires consider very little sexually taboo. The only thing that is looked down upon is raping another vampire and molestation of human children. Those are both laws and breaking either of those will get you a visit from the Volturi and it won't be a friendly visit. It is a crime punishable by death to force another vampire into sexual acts or to harm human children. I know it seems odd that they don't include rape of all humans but vampires often like to play with their food and since certain members of the Volturi rape their victims while they feed they can't really punish other for doing it."

I was honestly surprised the Volturi had any kind of rules at all and it didn't surprise me in the least that they would tweak those laws to better suit themselves.

"The molestation thing doesn't count for vampire children because it is forbidden to make vampire that are too young to be controlled. I think the youngest they can now get away with is thirteen, and even that is pushing it. They prefer that all vampires be old enough to be able to care for themselves. That is why the witch twins used to be looked down on. They are about sixteen that is part of the reason why they are hated because they are deemed as too young to care for themselves. It isn't as odd now a days but it was back in the time they were created."

I shivered. I had never met Jane or Alec but I feared them. I knew what they were capable of and I had seen Jane's sadistic smirk in plenty of vampires' memories. She was a member of the Volturi guard who truly enjoyed her job.

"Now I must admit darling, you are the only woman I have been with since I met Alice but she wasn't the first and I always kind of knew she wouldn't be the last. Forever always seemed like a long time; even though we had been together for decades our relationship was still in the early stages. Some vampires are together centuries or even millenniums before they grow tired each other. Take the Volturi leaders; Aro has a wife but takes on a paramour every few centuries so he doesn't get bored. It is actually a common practice for Arazil. They do not wait for their soul mates the way the Dagda do. They make relationships out of convenience. Generally, relationships last for as long as they find each other useful, and end as quickly as they begin. The Dagda like Carlisle tend to be faithful to their mates literally for eternity; Esme and Carlisle will be together forever and never tire of each other. He was alone before he met her and if she should ever leave him, he will be alone until he follows her into the afterlife. Their kind tends to be more faithful, mostly because they wait for their soul mates. It is unusual but sometimes if their mates die or are killed they will take on another; eventually. However more often than not they follow their mates in death or spend eternity alone. Take Marcus of the Volturi, he is a Dagda, his wife Didyme was killed centuries ago and he is still mourning her passing. Aro will not allow him to die and he refused to take on another lover. He will spend eternity with only his memories of her."

I could understand that. I could not imagine spending eternity alone just because you had lost a loved one. I knew it would be hard but eventually you would have to move on and adapt or you would go insane and have to join them in death. Jasper was so sad talking about our clan and Alice. I think he was ashamed that he wasn't more like Carlisle.

"I had thought Alice and I would be like that. We were of different lines so the standard practices were different but I had willingly given up mine to please her. It was hard at first, I wasn't use to being monogamous and a vegetarian but I believed that if I truly loved her I could do it. I stuck to it to, I did slip a few times in the vegetarian department but I had always been faithful. It got easier as my love for her grew."

I could sense his embarrassment of telling me all this but I wasn't jealous of what he and Alice had. I was happy that they had found each other.

"I tried my hardest but I know I will never be truly as human as my family. I am not as worried about human practices as they are; morality comes easy to them, that sense of right and wrong. I almost feel as if I have no conscience and I have to remember to force myself to make the right decisions. It is hard to stay to their human way of life. We are meant to wonder and be free, I admire the Cullen coven greatly but I will never live up to their standards. I have chosen to act against my inner nature and it is a constant struggle to remain on this path."

His voice was filled with regret and a desperate need to get me to understand. I had the feeling that he had tried to explain this to his family in the past and that the conversations didn't go well. I could understand entirely because my sense of right and wrong had also been mysteriously absent for the most part, only popping up now and again and seldom lasting long.

"I don't want you to think I don't love you because I do. It isn't the way I had loved Alice. I had to change to be with Alice and she could never understand me completely. She didn't really even want to try. I mean she tried, but there was always a part of us that didn't click, we could never be totally in sync with each other because there was always that part of us that got in the way. I know you don't remember him but you have someone a lot like Alice. Someone you love with unbelievable intensity, with your very soul. I know I cannot hope to compete with him but I think that you love him the way I did Alice. He is the one you chose but I think I am the one you are truly meant for. I will love and understand you in a way he will never be capable of achieving."

I had to interrupt his little rant. He still seemed to doubt my love for him.

"I do love you Jasper; you know how much I love you. I mean you are an empath, you can feel my love."

"I do know you love me, I can feel it but it may not last once you remember him. Until you have all your memories I cannot be sure of your love for me. You loved him powerfully and while I can't feel it now that doesn't mean it won't come back when you see him again."

I accepted his words but I knew in my very soul that there would never be another like Jasper. I may have loved that other boy in the past but that it what was, the past. Jasper was my present and future. I hoped that Jasper would never tire of me because I doubt I would ever tire of him. I sent waves of love towards Jasper and he smiled softly in return.

"When you regain your memories you will understand the difference in my love for you and Alice. You will see that your love for me is like mine was for Alice. It is mostly out of loneliness, I am a convenience, your love for him is real, you chose him."

He didn't say it but I could feel that he silently added as' I chose you'. He really loved me. I was his true mate and he may not believe it now but I knew he was my true mate as well. I quietly considered all he had told me and I wouldn't argue with him about it but I was certain that I didn't think of him as quick and easy. I loved him, honestly and with all of myself. I couldn't imagine loving the person he seemed so desperate to remind me of while at the same time yearning for me to forget.

Meeting Alice was fate, to save him from his self. Their love might have been convenience and effortless but I refused to believe that about us, it simply wasn't true. We couldn't feel like this if it wasn't real.

I knew it wasn't convenience; it was fated.


	17. My Rivals Remembrance

My Rivals Remembrance

*** Jasper's point of View***(April)

I had given her a few hours to process all that I had told her. I hoped that I didn't ruin my chances by being so honest with her. She knew of my devotion to Alice, I hope she doesn't think that it was all pretend and that I just faked my love until something better comes along.

I begged her to view my feelings and thoughts about her and Alice hoping to provide her with clarity and show her my true feelings for her. She was hesitant at first telling me she understood and didn't need an explanation. I insisted until she gave in. She agreed to view my life from the day I met Alice to this very moment. I knew I would eventually show her everything but I wanted to wait until we were both totally secure. Her with all her memories and me without all the insecurities I currently had about us.

She viewed my memories and when she had finished she kissed me lightly gave me a smile and curled up in my arms for the reminder of the night. Our hotel room was cute and homely. It had a television but neither of us wanted it on. We laid in complete silence and watched the sunrise. It wasn't until we were back in the car that she broke the silence. I had been waiting for this moment for hours and agreed to tell her anything and everything she wanted to know.

"It's more than my love for Jacob isn't it?" She wasn't looking at me but I knew she was watching my reflection in the glass.

It had taken her almost six hours to begin asking me about Edwards after she had finished viewing my memories. I had been careful so she could only see Alice and me or her and me. Never did I have a memory of Edward.

"I know that you love Jacob. He is your best friend, well best guy friend. It is possible that you are in love with him, you guys spent the month leading up to your change together but is isn't the type of love you have for me or even your chosen one."

I had taken to calling Edward her chosen one, as both a reminded to myself and to keep some of the contempt from my voice. I had been referring to Edward as him, but it always sounded mean and hateful and she didn't like the face I made when I said it.

"I can remember small things about him. A tan leather jacket and a silver car; he had the strangest color hair and a velvety voice. He loved music and played the piano. I try to see his face but every time it sends an intense pain throughout my body and I like I can't stand to remember him. I don't know why I feel so much pain towards the one person you claim I love above all others."

"I am the reason why!" I heard her sharp intake of breath. Whether it was because of my words or the facts that I shouted them I didn't know. "My brother is your mate and early last year we saved you from James and his coven; a group of sadistic vampires. That is how you got that scar.

"James was the reason I was in the hospital. Laurent came to finish the job for James' mate Victoria."

"Yes, between the time James attacked you and Laurent came you had a birthday. It happened the night you turned eighteen. We were throwing you a party, during the festivities I drifted too close…"

"I cut my finger on the wrapping paper of Edward and Alice's gift. Someone jumped in front of me and knocked me backwards into a mess of glass on the floor. They were trying to protect me from an attack."

"I was trying to attack you. The protector was my brother, your boyfriend. I am incredibly weak. Knowing you and how much you meant to everybody. How much you meant to Edward, to me; I still lost all control and tried to harm you. I mean you are my brother's singer. It is your blood that called to him like a siren and yet he was able to resist and I was not. I had to be forced out of the house; it took Emmett and Rosalie to get me out all over a tiny drop of blood."

He refused to look at me while retelling that horrific night. I felt fear over those events but not from the attack but what I knew followed afterwards. Why I was left all alone.

"When I got outside I was consumed by guilt as soon as the fresh air entered my lungs. Once I was away from the smell it was hard to believe what I had almost done. The memory of your blood faded with the scent and I felt weaker than ever. I ran away ashamed of myself. It was later once we had gone to live with the others that I learned the true extent of the damage I had caused."

"I don't blame you Jasper! I remember that night clearly. I know you lost it at first but you were fighting it. It was only after I was in the glass on the floor and blood was pouring did you truly lose it. I never understand why you take all the blame on yourself. I mean you had to deal with the blood lust of every vampire in that room except Carlisle. It is no wonder you lost it dealing with your own bloodlust and feeling the struggles of the others; especially his because I was his singer and it was as hard for him to resist as it was for you."

I can't believe she didn't blame me. She knew I could feel their thirst. I had never told anyone that. I knew I was weaker than them and they all felt sorry for Edward but I couldn't bring myself to tell them that part of the reason I was weak was because I took their temptations upon myself and only let them feel the calm in return. I couldn't let my family know that they made my struggle harder than it needed to be. I couldn't hurt them that way.

"Edward always over reacted before he really thought anything through. He didn't leave because of you. He left because of me; he didn't love me anymore and didn't want to be with me. He was tired of pretending to be something he wasn't and didn't want me tagging along and ruining his existence. He didn't want me for eternity; I was simply a distraction because he was bored with his life and himself. I loved him but it wasn't enough. I wasn't enough for him to stay."

I couldn't believe it. She remembered Edward but only the lies he had told her to get her to let him go. I couldn't believe he had said such things to her but I knew he couldn't have meant any of them. I had felt his love, and his heartbreak. He may have been terribly cruel to her but he did it out of kindness. He wanted her to move on and be happy. I didn't agree with his methods but I could understand, being willing to let go to make the person you loved happy. I mean after all isn't that what I did for Alice.


	18. Family? What Family?

Family!? What Family?

***Bella's point of view***

I don't know which of us was more surprised by my outburst, me or Jasper. After he imitated a fish for a few moments which would have been adorable; if I hadn't been filled with fury for remembering my ex-lover, He slowly shook his head and let out a low chuckle.

"What the hell could possibly be funny!?" I demanded; as he continued to laugh at me.

"Oh Honey. He wants you, he wants you really bad. He truly loves you and needs you desperately but he wanted you to be safe. Even if it made him miserable. He has been in absolute agony for months and it is not only killing him but our whole family. He has been hiding in an attic in South America since about two months after he left. He hardly ever leaves."

"No!" If he really loved me where is he? Why didn't he come back for me? Why didn't he save me from Laurent? Why didn't he turn me himself?" I couldn't believe that Jasper really thought Edward loved me. I knew Jasper was smarter than that.

"He still believes he is protecting you. I haven't told anyone what I have done. Alice cannot see through your shield so the family doesn't actually know what we are doing or where we are. I had left determined to make things right. They wouldn't have let me near you if they knew what I had been planning. I had planned to take you to Carlisle and get him to turn you and if he reused I would have done it myself. I had planned to return when you had more control and I was capable of facing them. However now that I have you, I am feeling a little selfish. I want a break from their drama and I want to keep you to myself for just a little while longer."

He smiled and I melted inside. It was impossible to be mad at Jasper. I really had no reason to be. It wasn't his fault, it was Edwards. I didn't want to hurt Jasper but I wasn't sure if I would be going back to the Cullen family. I loved them and I wanted to be a part of the family but they had all left me in favor of Edward and I can forgive them for that but I don't want to ever feel this way again and I don't know if I can still trust them after they all left me.

"I would like to get to know you better. I understand that it was very hard for you before. To be friends with me I mean. Now that we don't have to worry about my blood we can be close.

***Jasper's point of View***

"That is right darling. We no longer have to worry that I might eat you right up. "I laughed and hummed "Who's afraid of the big bad wolf. Her musical laughter filled the air. "I really did only keep my distance because I was afraid I would harm you. Besides I think we are already more than good friends."

I wiggled my eyebrows suggestively. She smiled before leaning over to kiss me.

"Are you sure about that, Mr. Whitlock; I think I need some convincing." I quickly pulled the car over so I could kiss her properly. I had brought her over the console and into my lap. We were caught up and the kissing was really getting heated but I knew we needed to keep moving, we still had a few hours until we reached our next destination and we had more to discuss.

She hadn't brought up our relationship though we did talk about our feelings towards both Edward and Alice in great length. I knew she wasn't upset with me about keeping Edward from her, and she didn't regret our relationship, which took a great deal off my mind. We both agreed that we would delay telling the family at least for a little longer, and until we were more sure of our relationship. I was pleased that I didn't feel her love for Edward return. I felt her anger and bitterness, which I wished to take away but I wasn't totally convinced that he wouldn't win her back from me. I was becoming more confident in myself though and I think she could feel that. I noticed that my accent was coming back. I normally tried to keep it out of my voice but I knew she liked it and thought it was hot so I had been using it more. It became natural again, and now I didn't bother to shut it off.

I had taken Isabella to all of the countries I felt we would be safe to visit in Europe. We had viewed the ancient world and a good deal of the modern one; everywhere from Ireland to Japan, and Russia to Africa. We were missing Italy but I feared to take her there, the Volturi were everywhere and I refused to take the chance of running into them again.

We had decided we would go to New Zealand before making out way to Australia. We were planning to hit several of the small chains of islands between the countries.

Our entire trip had taken us eight months, it had been about a year and a half since we left Bella. She was more than halfway through the newborn phase. I was scrambling for a good reason not to call home and tell everyone about Bella. I didn't need it, she never asked why? A better question was why the family continued to leave me in peace. They had not once tried to call in the last few months. I wasn't sure if I was pleased or upset with that. I mean they were giving me the space I had asked for but didn't they care about me at all? I decided I was glad they were leaving the decision to return up to me. I knew it was selfish but it had been so long since I was truly happy and relaxed and I didn't really see a good reason to end it.

It had been so long since I felt like I was strong. They always made me the weak one. Since living with Bella; I was finding it easier and easier to remain in control. In helping her resist temptation, I was helping myself. It was getting a little easier to behave myself. I knew that if Bella ever harmed anyone she would be heartbroken and emotionally shattered. I knew I could never allow that to happen to her. I would kept her safe and not allow her soul to be tarnished. I truly believed vampires had souls now that I knew Bella.

It is amazing. I have not even been tempted since leaving the Cullen Family. Bella has excellent control, almost as well as Carlisle and it strengthens my control. She had only been tempted a few times and had actually resisted an open wound; her guilt had quickly over powered her hunger and I used that knowledge to help myself. She had good control for a newborn, she remembered to move and take breaths like humans do and she was very careful with her strength.

After she remembered Edward and all the time they spent together; I thought it might be time to approach the subject of our family again. We had continued our relationship but by the stabs of pain she felt I knew she was thinking about Edward more and more. I knew it was only a matter of time before she ended things with me. Thoughts of him still sent her gasping for air and clutching her chest as if it would fall apart if not held together. I knew I would have to bring him up because she never would.

"I thought after we finished this area of the world we might go home." I really didn't know how to get her to tell me about the pain she was feeling. I was sort of wishing a dam would burst and it would all just come flooding out. In the future I will be more careful what I wish for.

"Where is our home Jasper? I cannot go home to Charlie or Renee or even back to the white house in Forks. "Her voice was eerily calm but her emotions were everywhere.

"Home is where ever the family is, Sugar." It was the wrong thing to say and I knew it as soon as it was out of my mouth.

"Family!? What family? They left me, he left me. I was thrown aside like an old toy. They knew the danger I was in and they all left anyway. What the hell kind of a family is that. What the hell did he expect me to do? Just forget about him and merrily skip along on my way. Forget our love and move on to the first human boy that walked past me."

"I think he was hoping you would be happy and live a long natural life. He hoped with him gone you wouldn't be in pain or regret the decision to be with him. He was hoping you wouldn't pine for him and that your stubbornness would allow you to keep living and to love another. He wanted you to grow and go to college and have a husband and children and grandchildren. He didn't want this life for you sweetheart. He just wanted you happy."

"I wasn't happy. I was the living dead. I wasn't even miserable. I didn't feel anything, I didn't notice anything. I couldn't eat or sleep or breathe. I went through the motions for Charlie's sake the only time I was even close to feeling anything was when I was with Jacob; my personal sun. I tried to love him because I knew he loved me but I wasn't capable. I could only offer him a brotherly love and it wasn't what he had wanted. I forgive Edward for leaving me but I don't want to face him, or them. I may never be able to see them again. They didn't want me in this life and I will not force myself upon them. They didn't want me and I do not need them. I may want to see them someday but it isn't right now. If you wish to go back you should but it will have to be without me. Besides I am sure Alice is anxiously waiting for you."

"She isn't. We are not longer together and even if she was waiting, I no longer love her that way I once did. She probably doesn't even want me back. I do know that she would be ecstatic to see you. She loves you; they ALL do."

"Let keep it just you and me, chasing the twilight."


	19. Alice's Deception

Author's Note: Italics are thoughts that Edward can read.

Alice's Deception

***Emmett's point of view***(April- Bella and Jasper are still in Europe at this time.)

When Jasper didn't return after a few months Esme began to worry. After another few weeks I decided I should go look for him. I couldn't stand to see Esme so sad. She had already lost a daughter, her first son was hiding like a coward in an attic somewhere, and now her middle son was missing. Jasper wasn't a selfish person so I couldn't understand how he could just disappear without a word of warning or even saying goodbye to his mother.

I tracked him all the way back to our old house in Forks, the place reeked of werewolves but it was fading, they had been all around the house for days but only one had come inside and he must not of stayed long because his scent was faint. I could also smell my brother's scent it was a combination of coconut and lemon-grass. His scent was mixed with another's, it was floral and somewhat familiar, a flower that I knew but couldn't place. I moved upstairs where the scent was stronger. It seemed to permeated from Edward's old room.

I entered the room and was assaulted by an array of scents; the smell of my brother and his new friend. A faint trace of something metallic, almost coppery, it was blood. Someone had tried to clean it up with bleach but I could still catch traces of it. The blood had distracted me from the most dominate smell in the room, the smell that clung to the air even weeks after the house had been abandoned, the sweet and musky smell of sex.

I was shocked at first. My brother had always been madly in love and faithful to his wife, I could not believe that he simply left her and jumped into bed with some tart. However it was the only explanation. There were only four strong smells in the room, Edward and Bella, plus Jasper and his mystery female. The wolf had never ascended the stairs and I knew that Edward was too prudish to deflower his human love.

It is strange though, the female had a very familiar scent to my youngest brother's human love. I imagined this is what Bella would have smelt like if she had ever received the gift of immortality she had so desperately craved.

My attention was brought back to the smell of blood. I couldn't find traces of it within the bedroom so I decided to check the bathroom. Someone had used bleach in here but it wasn't enough to hide it from my vampire senses. Someone had walked through a pool of blood that that seeped into the floor and stayed in the grout of the tiles. It was also in a ring around the bathtub, which they must have forgotten to scrub it out.

The only thing I knew for certain was that my brother had been here, and so had Bella and she had been bleeding. I had no doubt that it was Bella's blood that stained Edward's former bedroom. The only question left was where were they? Jasper couldn't have tried to kill her again; he wouldn't have wasted so much of her sweet smelling blood. I couldn't have been the wolves, they hadn't entered. The lack of a blood trail means that she wasn't bleeding when she entered so the only explanation I had was that Bella had hurt herself in Edward's bathroom, maybe an attempted suicide. If she had where was the body? Had Jasper removed her and been unable to return because of his guilt and inability to tell Edward?

I knew Bella wasn't at home or the hospital, I had checked there first. I entered her bedroom through her window but her scent was faint and I couldn't detect Jasper's scent in her room. I didn't know what to do. I could pick up a scent from the woods around the house so I decided to head back to Denali.

When I returned to the house I was pleased to see our friends were already here. I debated on telling them the truth but I knew it would help to have more people on the case. We were family they would help us solve this dilemma. I recounted the things I had found and when I had finished most of them looked horrified.

Carlisle was calm as usual and tried to assure Esme that she hadn't lost anymore children that we would get Bella and Jasper back. Rosalie, as usually, was complaining about how the stupid human was interrupting our lives. I loved my wife dearly but sometimes I didn't understand how she could be so cruel to someone I loved so dearly. Even if she couldn't love Bella for me, she should at least be kind to her for helping Edward.

Carlisle suddenly told everyone to quiet down. He had turned his attention to Alice who looked very guilty about something. She smiled timidly which proved to us that she wasn't as ignorant as we were. She had seen something.

"Alice, is there anything you would like to add to this meeting?" As usual Carlisle was calm and caring but I could sense his unease without Jasper's empathic abilities. She glanced around meeting all of our stares before huffing impatiently and beginning her story.

"I had a vision of Bella's death. I tried to find different solutions but they all ended in her death. She was either killed by the wolves or committed suicide. I had to stop it; the only way to save her was to turn her into a vampire. I tried to do it myself but I wouldn't be able to stop, the only one I know who could stop was you, Carlisle and you wouldn't do it against Edward's wishes. I knew Rosalie would refuse and I didn't even bother to look at her. The only one left was Jasper. I know under normal circumstances he would be the least likely candidate but under the right circumstances he would be able to turn her without draining her dry or breaking the treaty with the wolves.

"How is that possible?" Carlisle always was thirsty for knowledge more than blood.

"His name is Jasper Whitlock or right now Hale." She explained. "He doesn't carry the last name of Cullen; it is a loop hole that he used." She was very excited. "This means that eventually we can go back to Forks."

"No, I mean how he maintained control when just a few drops of her blood had sent him into frenzy a few months ago." Carlisle was still clueless but I was beginning to see where this was going.

"Oh, he was too intently focused on something else." She tried to keep the bitterness out of her voice and maintain her perky attitude but I could tell she was hurting. "His mind was so busy he didn't even notice his blood lust." She kept her eyes trained on the table and her tiny hands clasped in her lap.

Tanya made a disparaging noise. We all turned our attention to her. I knew by the malicious gleam in her eye that she knew exactly what Jasper had used to distract himself and she enjoyed it immensely.

"The only thing that can distract a vampire from their bloodlust is to turn it into another kind of lust. Only an intensely sexual desire can sway us from a blood haze. It is why we have the legend of the succubus; it is what we do with our lovers…"

Her statement was met with complete silence and Alice refused to lift her eyes from the designs carved into the table. I could see them all slowly piece it together. Esme cleared her throat twice before being able to speak.

"Are you telling us that my son Jasper has been… intimate with Bella?" She whispered quietly and stumbled over the word intimate.

"I am going to fucking kill that bastard." We all whirled around at the angry voice. I hadn't seen my brother Edward in months but he looked like the walking dead, his eyes were black with dark circles under them and his lip was curled back into a ferocious snarl.

This was the first time Esme had ever heard him swear and she was too shocked and joyous at his reappearance to scold him for it. I was worried for Jasper. Esme finally remembered herself and swatted Edward's arm and told him to mind his manners and watch his language.

"_That is hilarious. He is just pissed off about Jasper knocking boots with Bella before he did."_ His head whipped in my direction and his growl was now focused on me. Sometimes I really hate that my brother can read my mind. "_They are private thoughts for a reason_," I defended but his anger only made me more sure of my assumption instead of less. He turned back to glare at Alice.

"He had too!" She defended. "If he hadn't see would truly be dead."

"At least she would still have her soul, she was meant to die a natural death. That is why we left. I couldn't damn my angel to an eternity on Earth, when I knew she could be a real one in Heaven."

"_Wow_." I thought he had been pissed before but that was nothing to the rage he was giving off now. "We were supposed to stay out of her life and let her live it the way she thought was best. So she could be normal and happy. She could move on, get married and have lots of pretty little babies with… someone who could be with her in every way." His anger had faded and all that was left was his sorrow and longing.

Tanya burst out laughing and he turned to her in complete shock. His fury quickly clouded over his gaze.

"I am terribly sorry Honey; but no woman in her right mind could get over you. She wouldn't be able to have a happily ever after being left by you. Unless it was with one of your equally handsome brothers." She didn't look sorry but I am sure she knew he needed to hear the truth that we had been too afraid to tell him.

"That is true Edward." Alice quickly chirped in. "If she hadn't of been attacked by a vampire she would have killed herself. The wolves kept the vampire from killing her and took care of him but they couldn't do anything for her. She was slowly turning and being driven mad. If she hadn't committed suicide cause by her insanity, the wolves would have killed her the moment she exited the house. Jasper saved her from insanity, suicide and death."

He was calming down. He was still in a murderous rage but it wasn't as intense as it had been a few moments before.

"Dude, how did you know to come home?" I had been wondering but this was the first time I thought it safe to ask him. He must have been tapping into Alice's powers or something.

"_I missed you bro"._ He smiled slightly. Then he frowned again.

"I got a call from Charlie. He told me that Bella was hurting and my brother had come to help her. That they had run off to some private school out of the country, He must have used his police connections to track down my number. I thought it was Emmett and was coming to kill him for bringing Bella here but now I know that Jasper is the real traitor."

"Where would he of taken her?" Carmen's sweet voice asked politely.

"Not in South, North or Central America, not Canada and not Italy" Edward immediately replied. We all looked at him in confusion.

"How do you know, bro_?"_ I asked.

"I was in South America, Maria is in Mexico, The family is too close in the states and the Volturi are in Italy." He explained as if we were morons.

"Do you not know Alice?" Esme pleaded.

"I cannot see anything. The last decision I had a vision of his is when Jasper decided to go to Forks. It was after our fight, he had to believe that I didn't love him and that we were over so that he would go to Forks and bring Bella here to be changed by Carlisle. However, it turned out that she had already been bitten and he used lust to cover his need for blood so that he could turn her but he was supposed to bring her back here afterwards." She was confused by her lack of sight but Edward had no sympathy for her.

"Obviously when he got there things were changed and he ran off with my mate." he spit out viciously.

"Why have you not seen him since?" Tanya cut in.

"I thought it was the wolves' involvement at first but I am still blind to their movements so it must be Bella's powers have increased. She is using her mind block to shield not only herself but Jasper as well." I knew she wasn't infallible but she had never been unable to see anyone but the wolves before. "I honestly don't think she has control of it, I think that she just naturally protects herself."

"How do we find them?" Edward bit out, trying unsuccessfully to suppress a growl.

"Well we have eliminated North, South, and Central America, Canada, and Italy. It is probably safe to do the same with the North and South Poles. That just leaves pretty much the rest of the world." Alice was still trying to maintain chipper status but we all knew it was forced. She wasn't as happy as she pretended to be. "I will continue to search the future for them."

"Good." Edward answered shortly. "I plan to search the entire world for them."

The result of that conversation is how I found myself in New Zealand.


	20. Winter Haven and the Unexpected Visitor

Winter's Haven and Unexpected Visitors

***Jasper's Point of View***(July)

We had visited almost every country I had wanted to take her to. We obviously had to skip a few because of the many other vampires we were trying to avoid. She absolutely fell in love with the islands that were off the coast of New Zealand.

She liked it so much I bought it for her and all of the surrounding islands. We decided that we would stay on a small island and build a big house on the larger island next to it. We had a charming little bungalow and we quite happy without little retreat. I couldn't wait to see the large house she planned to build. From the plans I had seen it appeared to be massive.

Bella had explained that she had always been in love with the plantations and manors in the classic movies she loved to watch. She had picked a combination of her favorite houses and was beginning to design the place herself. Inside and outside; top to bottom.

It would be enormous and grand but still comfortable. It was going to have a large rectangular front, and had several wings coming off of it. In one plan it was a square; in another a pentagram, she also had one that strongly imitated the Biltmore estate. She seemed to leave a large void in the middle of all the designs and I finally had to ask her why. She explained that she wanted to have an Eden in the middle of the house. She explained that she wanted a waterfall falling into a lagoon that fed into a stream that snaked through the garden, along with a bunch of tropical plants and trees.

Her designs for the inside of the house almost seemed childlike. She planned to have a carousel in a room full of mirrors, and secret passages, one that would be filled with water and have turtle stepping stones that led to a secret entrance in the main hallway. It seemed like a playhouse, more than a vacation home for vampires. Well if we added some gothic themes and cobwebs web, fog machines across the grounds we could run out own haunted house attraction.

She also had elegant designs; a crystal chandelier and a grand stair case. Lavish furnishings; she was creating a vampires paradise.

I had a hard time deciding why she had so many whimsical things instead of practical ones. I made a mental map of it in my mind and I was shocked with the picture. We would never be bored here it was the ultimate distraction… an eternal distraction. I had suddenly pieced together all the hints that she had been giving me. She planned to remain here forever. This would be her safe haven, her stronghold. She did not intend to return to the family at all. She had made this place so she would forever be distracted from reality. She meant to boggle the mind with all she planned and with so much land surrounding the island along with the surrounding ones she could just keep building.

I was so shocked. The multiple plans were not choices; she planned to build them all. When she ran out of space, she could simple tear them down and begin again. She had also designed stables, a track, and a place for courts for tennis and basketball. She had even made a place for a baseball diamond. It was a vampire's paradise.

She loved the place already and immediately started construction. She named the manor Winter's Haven on Arazil Isle. The other islands were still unnamed but she assured me it was only until she knew what she wanted to do with them.

She would start on the main island and the manor but she had also contracted a crew to begin clearing the next largest island to the left of our. I was doing the math on the house; clearing the debris alone would take a human crew several life times. She simply laughed and told me that she had hired three crews to work on our house, two of which were vampires.

She was determined to do all the painting and decorating herself so the crews only created the rooms she would handle everything else. She had decided to devote her existence to a passion similar to Esme's just on a much grander scale; I worried this was an attempt to avoid her issues with Edward and our family. Even with these revelations it still took me weeks to truly believe that she was abandoning our family.

***Jasper's point of view ***(October)

I knew by now that the family would be in complete panic mode. I had no way of contacting them and while ten months isn't really all that long in vampire terms I knew they would be extremely worried that I had not attempted to contact them. If I was completely honest with myself I wasn't sure I wanted to contact them. Bella and I were pretty happy hiding from reality; exploring our islands, building our house, and working on the rooms as the crews finished them. We were content to let the months slide right by us and into oblivion.

We had spent the entire day underwater exploring everything around us. Since we didn't need to breath and could see perfectly underwater we simply wore our bathing suits and took no equipment. We had discovered a shipwreck a few miles from our island and it was full of interesting artifacts. Bella wanted to bring some of the items to the surface and we agreed to return at a later date. The sun was just setting as we moved back to shore.

As we came up out of the water in sight of our bungalow I caught a sweet scent that I had hoped to forever leave behind. Someone had entered our sanctuary and they did not seem to be a worker. They were filled with anger and confusion, their shadow was very large but I strode forward to confront them anyway.

The worst part was the scent…it was the scent of someone familiar.

***Emmett's point of view***(October- Two hours earlier)

I had been searching for a few months and so far had discovered nothing. It had been a few weeks since I had returned home. I was beginning to feel discouraged; every time I thought I was close it would turn out to be a dead end. I knew I had finally found them in New Zealand but the trail was cold. The woman in the hotel could remember them but it had been a few month back.

I wasn't a great tracker and while I knew exactly what my brother smelt like I wasn't sure I would be able to recognize Bella's scent as a vampire. The only time I had smelt it was very faintly at the house and it wasn't much to go on.

Esme and Rosalie had already returned home, they searched in Australia and Japan. The visit had only turned up vague whispers and no hints to their where abouts, the Denali's had also struck out in Europe. Elezar and Carmen had even been to the Volturi to see if they had seen Jasper. They tried to ask for Demetri's assistance but he was missing from the guard being out on assignment. Alice was still looking in Russia and a bit of Asia but she had already seen that she would find nothing. However she dutifully continued to look, for Esme's sake. Carlisle and Edward were both in Africa after our father figure had found a vampire that had seen someone matching Jasper's description.

I think they had been traveling and constantly in motion which is why we could only find vague trails of them. I had almost given up when I caught the faint smell of vampires. I followed the trail to the harbor. There was a pub nearby and I entered to try to orient myself to the area.

I sat down and waited and I didn't have to wait long. A pair of men came in and a scent I would know anywhere clung to them. It was the scent of my brother, they also had traces of freesia; my little vampire sister was close. These two men had been near them in the last few hours.

I listened closely to their conversation with the bartender. A strange couple on a remote island was building an enormous palace where money was no object. The woman was a gorgeous petite brunette. She was extremely fair, like alabaster with strange golden eyes and an equally attractive husband.

"I like working for them, they pay really well but I have a strange sense of unease every time they fix me with those strange yellow eyes. I mean they are husband and wife but they must be related even if distantly because I have never before seen someone with eyes that color."

His name was Randy and the man he was with was his cousin, they were construction workers; building a house for the strange woman.

"They are a handsome couple thought. They are very rich, mush be old money because they are very young. I would bet a month's wages they are no older than twenty five, hell she doesn't look twenty. Strange names too, his name is Ashriel Haven, her name is Winter." His cousin nodded in agreement and the bartender hoped they would bring in business being so wealthy.

Ashriel was another name for the arch angel that Jasper's bloodline was named for he was the angel of death. Plus Haven was close to Hale. Winter went well with a vampire's pale completion and frigid touch_. _I was giddy. I wanted to call the family and tell them of my deductions but I wanted to know for sure before I got their hopes up.

I quickly exited the pub and followed his musky smell to the dock. I snuck on to the ship and looked over their charts to locate the island. I dove into the water and headed in the general direction that I believed the island was in. I arrived about an hour before the sun would set.

I arrived on the island but there was no house in sight. I walked along the shore until a small bungalow came into view, drenched in the smell of the two vampires. I entered the small house and sat down to wait. I already knew it was them but I needed to see them with my own eyes.

***Jasper's point of view***

The scent of another vampire put me on high alert and I instantly morphed back into my soldier mentality. I had come to hate Maria but I must admit that she made me a very efficient killer and heightened my senses like a freshly sharpened knife.

The smell grew stronger as we approached the house indicating that the intruder used the front door. It was instantly familiar but I wouldn't let my guard down, I needed to protect my mate. Whoever they were they moved into the living room to wait for us and since the shadow was no longer moving they must of settled onto the couch.

Bella and I shared a look. Whoever it was expected us to enter the front door, so Bella circled around the house and would enter through the backdoor. She was nervous and excited, I knew that she also recognized the person but was letting me take the led to ensure our safety, she didn't seem eager to engage this person.

She was learning so fast, I was teaching her all the skills I had leaned while in Maria's army, but without all the horrors that I had to suffer through to learn them. She had a natural talent that made her a perfect vampire. She was purely instinctual but tempered it with caution and logic.

I had drilled combat skills into her. I never wanted her to fight but I would make damn sure she could defend herself. However this visitor would be the first time she would use the skills she learned in an uncontrolled setting. She knew my history and all the history I had learned in my time with both Maria and Carlisle; she understood what caused most young vampires to make lethal mistakes in battle.

When I gave the signal we both burst into the room in our hunting crouches. Our guest had leaped from the couch to stand behind it in a position mirroring ours. We stared at one and other in complete shock and silence. I knew I was gaping like a fish but I couldn't believe my brother Emmett was in the middle of the bungalow. I shook my head to clear it and stood up straight. Emmett followed my example but Bella remained low and growling. Her anger radiated off of her and she was beyond furious.

I tried to send calming waves to her, afraid she would attack out of instinct rather than intent but she didn't seem to be affected. Emmett kept his eyes on her and then let out a long whistle suddenly. Bella jerked in surprise and confusion radiated off of her.

"Hell girl, I thought you were smoking as a human but as a vampire you are damn fine!" He was grinning like an idiot.

The growling stopped and she stood up but continued to stare him down. His face fell and he looked like someone had just ran over his dog, he hung his head in shame and he murmured an apology to Bella. I felt her indecision but she then settled on amusement. Giggling on the inside she once again crouched down and tackled Emmett onto the couch.

She had always loved Emmett's tough guy looks and teddy-bear heart. His abandonment had hurt her terribly, almost as bad as Alice's. She felt my remorse and sent me a sad smile and wave of genuine happiness.

"Dudes, I have been looking for you guys for months. Why the hell did you decided to stay put so far away from anything fun?" Emmett demanded.

I could feel that Bella wasn't comfortable with Emmett's easy familiarity she was still hurt and I offered her an escape. When she had disappeared out into the woods to hunt I turned back to my brother. I could feel Emmett's hurt and confusion. He had expected Bella to be as excited and happy to see him as he had been to see her.

I told him everything, from my fights with Alice to finding Bella. How our relationship had started, how she felt about everything, the house, Jacob, and what he had revealed about the months we were absent. All of it; when I finished I told him how I felt about Bella, my lust, love and affections, about my guilt towards Edward and how upset I was about Alice, both our fights and my infidelity but I also explained how I couldn't help myself and how my feelings of being torn between them were not just about Bella. I told him how I knew I still loved Alice and needed to return to her so Bella could return to Edward but how I wasn't sure I could step aside for him.

Emmett listened and understood in the way that only he was capable of. It was in these moments that I realized I often didn't appreciate the knowledge and experience held by my mischievous brother. I was glad he was the one who had found us first.

"It seems that while you still have feelings for Alice, you are better suited for Bella. You guys seem to mesh better. However, did you ever consider that you are confusing feelings? I mean could it just be that you are transferring your love for Alice onto Bella. Maybe you guys would be better off as twins or soul mates instead of lovers. I know you guys are of the same bloodline and feel completely connected I can see it but maybe the confusion comes from not being done with Alice."

I listened to his words but I knew that even as he spoke them he didn't believe them. He was simply stating what we all wanted to be true. Things with Alice would never be the same and I doubted my brother would ever be able to steal my mate from me. I was glad that Emmett understood me perfectly but still said what he felt like I needed to hear. Hearing him say it only convinced me how permanent Bella and I are now.

He moved on to tell me about what had been going on since I left. I knew Edward would be mad but I didn't expect him to lose it so completely as to search the globe for us. I didn't know what to do about the family but luckily Emmett was a godsend.

He agreed to return to the family and let them know all about the new Bella and what we had been up to while keeping our location a secret. He was guarding it so that Edward would not be able to steal it from his thoughts.

We agreed that Bella would be allowed to get use to the idea of the family coming to stay with us and slowly bring them in one at a time. I knew she was listening outside; she wasn't thrilled with the idea but she also desperately wanted to see certain members of our family. I knew it was mostly just Emmett, Carlisle and Esme she wanted to see but she agreed to do this for me because she loved me and wanted me to be happy. She knew how much I missed them and how much I wanted to see them. She really deep down missed them too but was afraid to be abandoned and hurt all over again.

She sent me her agreement via the mind link but told me she wanted complete control of the order in which they arrived, the date and where they stayed while here. They had to stay off our island and only be at the big house or the uninhabited islands. I quickly agreed and told Emmett of our consent.

Rosalie would be first, followed by Esme, Carlisle, Alice and lastly Edward. I knew she saved the most uncomfortable for last but I also knew that he would be much worse when he did arrive because he would have a longer time to stew.

I toured the house with Emmett before he left and with the three crews working around the clock, the house was coming along nicely and they were close to finishing the clearing of the debris. The rooms for our family would be ready as they arrived and they could handle personal touches but Bella had already created the perfect rooms for each of them.

I wished we could handle our relationships as perfectly as Bella could plan out our home.


	21. The Family and the Fortress

Family and the Fortress

***Jasper's point of view***(Early November)

By the time Rosalie arrived, the first phase of the house had been completed and phase two was well underway, a full two months ahead of schedule thanks to vampire stamina. Bella was working day and night to make the house habitable and seemed to find a release for her anxiety while doing so.

She had been extremely tense these last few weeks and I was worried about what she would be like when the ones who had really hurt her arrived. She had finished the moldings; painting, wallpaper, and most of the decorating in the first phase of the house, the only rooms that she left unfinished were the ones that she had reserved for our family members. I was displeased to note that not only had she given me and Alice separate bedrooms but also one to share. When I asked her about it she simply shrugged and told me it was just in case.

I asked her if she had a room picked out for her and I and she simply smiled and said 'but of course'. I loved that she was prepared for anything but I didn't think she needed a bedroom for my ex-wife and I… Bella was more secure in our relationship then that; wasn't she? When I confronted her about it she told me that it was easy to be over Alice when I hadn't seen her in months but it might be harder to be over her when she lived just down the hall. I conceded the point but I knew that my mind would never change; I had found my true mate.

Rosalie hid out in the first few weeks that she was here. I think she was afraid to face Bella without an apology and she feared Bella would reject her apology which kept her from talking their problems out.

I was thankful that Esme arrived when she did. She sort of smoothed the way for Rosalie. Esme and Bella had had a heart to heart the night she arrived about everything; her love for Edward, his departure, how she felt about the family abandoning her, her love for me and all about the house. I don't know what Esme said but it was the perfect thing. Bella was lighter in her approach to the family and was no longer withdrawn and nervous.

Esme also talked Rosalie in to helping Bella and her in the completion of the house. It is amazing that the two women bonded not only with their mother but with each other over tile, paint and plaster. I was stunned when Rosalie and Bella came out of the grand ballroom one evening with their arms linked and laughing over something Emmett did years ago.

I was glad that my twin and my hopefully soon to be wife. I hadn't asked her yet but I felt that I needed to show Bella that I was committed I knew that it wasn't as big of a deal in today's world as it was when I was young but I would make the gesture all the same.

I knew that Emmett would be very pleased that his wife and little sister were getting along. He had never told Rosalie but he was really hurt that she wouldn't try to be nice to Bella for his sake; he loved Bella from the first day that Edward brought her home and he couldn't stand the fact that Rosalie was so jealous of her.

Since the three girls were working almost none stop they had soon finished furnishing the first phase of the house and moved on to the completed parts of phase two. When they finished with that they began to help the construction crews.

I knew the house would be finished in a fraction of the time that had anticipated but it would still be worth it in the end. As long as Bella was happy with it, I didn't care when it was finished.

The girls had worked extra hard on Rosalie and Emmett's room, and Esme and Carlisle's bedroom and his study; they spent more time in the families rooms then they did on any of the individual rooms.

Carlisle arrived and quickly settled, I didn't know it at the time but Bella had set Carlisle up with his own practice on the mainland. She made it a gift from us. He was thrilled and was extremely happy. People were fairly poor in this area and were grateful to our family. By putting in a resort Bella was bringing tourist to their area and helping the local businesses. They were also extra excited to have a Doctor who would adjust prices and make healthcare affordable to them, it was especially important that they had a one because it was about a hundred miles to the next hospital, the only thing even remotely close to a Doctor were people who offered home remedies.

I could feel how pleased he was everyday when he returned from work. He had always taken pride in saving lives but these people made him feel like he was really making a difference. He felt more fulfilled in this community then he ever had before at the hospital.

Esme was also exceptionally pleased. Bella had allowed her to take over the designs for the resort and Esme had taken off running, it was also coming along much faster than anticipated, at this rate we would be able to have guests by the first of the year.

As it became closer to the time that Alice would arrive at the manor, Bella started to become nervous again, she spent many nights telling me how she felt about the family and their leaving her, with my support she had decided that she needed to speak to each member of the family the way she had with Esme. Since Rosalie and Carlisle were already here she started with them. Rosalie was the easiest because they had only really started to get to know each other in the last month. She spent hours talking with Carlisle but once again when she returned it was with a lighter heart and a brighter smile.

So far the transition and reacquainting with the family had gone smoothly; I knew she would have no trouble talking with Emmett, Just Alice and Edward. She became increasingly upset as it came closer to the time that Alice would be here. The night before she was a nervous wreck and there was nothing that I could do to make her feel at ease.

She feared Alice, she knew Alice was my past and I think she felt that Alice would also be my future. I also think that Alice's abandonment hurt Bella the more than Edward's. She could understand Edward, he had left to protect her, but Alice had left because Edward had said so, and Bella couldn't understand why Alice would just walk away so easily. Bella had turn to her other best friend in this time of need, she figured that Jacob would be the most objective person to tell her what she should do about Alice. Jacob also kept her informed about Renee and Charlie. She had spoken to each of her parents over the phone, telling them about all the business classes she was taking and sending them pictures of the house telling them it was a dorm room, at a private college.

Bella and I were as close as ever but whenever we had intimate moments, there was a desperation in the way she clung to me, a fierceness in her kiss and even when we were just silent and wrapped in each other's arms I could feel the sorrow radiating off of her.

I think she was trying to hold me as close as possible while simultaneously pulling away to make the separation easier when I returned to Alice. I had no intentions of doing so but she always told me I might feel different when Alice stood before me. I couldn't make her trust in my love no matter how much I desperately wanted too. She told me that she wanted me to be able to go back to Alice if I choose to without feeling torn or guilty about leaving her. We both knew how much we loved one and other, we could feel it but at the same time, there was a small part of our hearts that remembered our old loves, we both feared that when our old loves returned we would leave our new one.

We often discussed our exes. We also discussed what we would do if we did go back to our exes or if we stayed together, I could talk forever about Bella and I but I had very little to say about me and Alice, she seemed to have the same trouble with Edward.

The hours passed and Alice was finally here. Bella refused to leave the bungalow and suggested that I go and see her; she even talked me into spending a few days at the big house with Alice before I made my final decision to be with Bella.

As per my loves request I went up to stay at the big house. I stayed in my private room and sulked for hours on end. I finally decided to man up and made the decision to go to my study, which Bella had beautifully decorated in hunter green and a rich chocolate brown. I left the door open so that anyone could walk in and talk to me.

Alice's room was a floor above mine so I was quite surprised when she solemnly danced past my door a few times before she finally decided to come in and speak to me. I was hesitant to show her the room Bella had made for "us." The door was open and she commented on how lovely it was but I kept quiet and continued on to the room that I had deemed "Alice's only."

She was just as she had always been; she even looked at me with those same adoring eyes. The way I had missed terribly in the last months of our marriage. I didn't feel that stirring in my soul the way I had. She was a fond memory and a dear friend but the spark that use to tingle so pleasantly through my body when she was near was no longer present. I was vastly relieved that I was truly over her and could move on with my life. I only hoped that the same could be said for my sweet Bella and Edward.

Alice was disappointed that Bella wouldn't come and talk to her and Alice was too ashamed of leaving Bella to seek her out. Edward was scheduled to arrive in three weeks and we were all feeling the strain. The tension was so thick it could suffocate you. It didn't help that I still needed to tell Alice that she and I were truly over. I hadn't known if I needed to say it but our talks were strained and I had a feeling that if I didn't acknowledge it she would not either.

I was over a week before Alice came to my study again and asked if we could talk. She looked like if she had been able to cry she would have been sobbing uncontrollably. She told me everything. All about the visions, and the need for me to believe we were over so that I could physically love Bella and change her. How I was supposed to return and still love her, and how she didn't know what had happened.

I was angry and hurt that she had deceived me so. That she would destroy everything we had built together because she wanted someone to turn her best-friend and was not strong enough to do it herself. I almost screamed with rage but quickly stifled the urge after all her deception led me to the truth. I forgave her because I could understand the logic of her reasoning and knew she had done it as much for the family as herself. Alice wasn't hurt that I had fallen in love with Bella, but she was heartbroken when she learned that I was no longer in love with her. She accepted it gracefully and expressed that she only wished the best for Bella and I, with both her words and feelings. She knew how hard it was to resist our instincts, especially as Arazils. She had always known that I had chosen her to be my wife but that my vampire self had not. I think she always had a small doubt that I would find a real mate and that is why she let me go so easily. She was sad we would no longer be mates but she had vision of a future with someone if I hadn't taken her back. I knew she would not begrudge us our happiness but the same couldn't be said for my brother.

After our little heart to heart, Alice informed the rest of our family everything that had happened that led us to this moment. I knew that some of the details were known but not all of them. The family was a little upset with Alice but she was forgiven by us all, she only needed to obtain the forgiveness of Bella and Edward now. Since I had made my choice, Alice's visions cleared up and was filled with love and happiness, Bella's future with me was happy but a lot of it was hazy because Edward had made no decisions, because he was still mostly out of the loop. I hoped he wouldn't do anything rash.

During this family meeting, Alice was struck by a vision that Edward and Emmett would be forced to come early because the Volturi were visiting and they were in terrible danger if they didn't leave immediately. They were interested in Bella because of Demetri. Luckily only Edward was home and didn't know Bella's location so he was not lying when he told them that he didn't. This wouldn't stop them for long, they would track the boys and attempt to follow them, and the only way to save us is if they were under Bella's shield when Demetri attempted to track them next time. It would take them some time to track them the old fashioned way which would allow us to settle our differences and formulate a plan.

Thankfully the guards lost interest quickly and forgot about Bella, almost as soon as they had left the house but I knew Aro would not forget and it wouldn't be long before he sent the guard out after her. If Aro didn't remember, I am sure Demetri would remind him, from Bella's memories he was quite interested in her, I was insanely jealous but I knew that the only rival I had was Edward. Aro wouldn't be satisfied until he had met Bella, tested her powers and attempted to make her join his guard. I feared his inability to read her would increase his curiosity instead of diminish it.

It was then that I was thankful that Bella and I had kept all of her powers under wraps with the exception of her shield, which everyone already knew about so it was pointless to keep it quiet. I prayed Aro would lose interest in her quickly, since he already had a physical shield, I knew he was greedy but it wouldn't be worth it to him to fight us for something he already had.

As usual hope was in vein, the fates truly hated me. Bella was a black hole for danger, sucking it in all across the galaxy. It seems that Bella's beauty had been spread thought the guard by Demetri and both he and Felix often asked Aro about her, thank god that Bella allowed Alice to see or we would have been blind to their movements.

Demetri knew I was married to Alice, but assumed Bella was single especially because the only single Cullen had been hiding in an attic halfway around the world. He had missed our little show above the club. He had brought a letter to Edward and Emmett, informing them that if they could not make it to Volterra soon, then Aro would bring the guard to them. Demetri could still find my brothers; they needed to get to the island quickly.

Alice hadn't seen Demetri arriving because it had been a split second decision, the three weeks they had to close the house and settle all of our affairs in Alaska were cut short to the three days they had had and four hours after Demetri left, she refused to give them any more time than that. She said those hours were clear and that they had to be on the plane by the end of three hours.

After a family discussion we figured when the Volturi couldn't reach us in Alaska they would try the white house. When we were still not to be found they would begin to track us. Hopefully none of us would be outside of the shield when they did that. Even Carlisle practice fell into the shield so he wouldn't have to give up working. We experimented and it seems that as long as Bella had already shielded someone she could hold it not matter the distance but we had only tried it for about twenty or thirty miles. We were too afraid to try it any further than that.

This helped the soldier in me to calm down a bit. We could only hope to be ready. Hope for the best and plan for the worse. It was this thought that had Carlisle and I pouring over the blueprints. Together we discovered that in addition to Bella's shield we were also protected by Bella's little fun house, which also served as a fortress. She had created the house for two purposes to distract vampires and to protect us from invaders whether they were outside the house or within.

There were sliding panels, trap doors, secret passages. Cells designed to hold vampires that if they tripped the traps they would end up going through a series of tunnels and being locked into one of those cells. The only way out was if someone released them from the outside; which if they were here to kill us was highly unlikely. Everything was very strategic, she must have been planning this out for a long time, she had planned this house perfectly, and I almost wondered if she had somehow tapped into Alice's gift and foresaw a battle.

I had thought she was merely distracting herself form her emotions and the future. I had never realized that there was method to her madness. I was frankly amazed, when I had told her about Aro and his guard and the newborn armies, she hadn't seemed very interested but she must have been paying apt attention to build the perfect place to battle either force.

I used my experience in the south to develop a series of plans- some for peaceful gatherings, some for battles or escape routes. It was the perfect place. I studied the plans and gave a detailed outline for each of the scenarios I had planned. It was the perfect place for a battle, at least against enemies… but what do you do when your biggest enemies is your very own brother.

I know that I had told myself that I would step aside for my brother if that was what Bella wished but now that the time was almost upon me I wasn't sure I would be able to keep my promise. I wasn't sure if I could gracefully stand aside and be happy with the time she had allowed me. I wanted to do the right thing but what if the right thing for Bella and Edward wasn't the right thing for me. I loved Bella, I would be the man she needed me to be, I would either love her forever from beside her or if she chose Edward from afar; but either way I would always love her and be there for her no matter what the future held.


	22. Two Lovers and the Hands of Fate

Two Lovers and the Hands of Fate

***Jasper's point of view***(Early December)

I pondered my relationship with Alice that night. I had been confident in our relationship because I had chosen her, it was my choice, and no one could make it for me. I had believed us to be unshakable because we would always be devoted to each other. It was only after I had turned my back on our relationship did it crumble and fail.

I guess our divorce was really my fault even though she had drawn up the papers. I was the one who abandoned our marriage, but I couldn't bring myself to be sorry over the fact. I would never want to intentionally harm Alice but I couldn't lie to her or myself anymore. I had always believed that I could trust her but I guess it turns out we were both liars.

She had deceived me and our family but with good intentions. Even if Alice would have forgiven me, the vows that I took on our wedding day were shot all to hell. I had sworn to forsake all others but I knew now that nothing would shake my need or want for Bella. It would always be about her, even if I stepped aside for Edward's sake; I would still always love and miss Bella and be jealous and envious of my brother.

I could no longer consider myself faithful to Alice, I had many faults but infidelity was not one of them, I would not make her a promise, I couldn't keep which is why I didn't go back to her the way I had originally planned when I had first turned Bella.

It is amazing. I had always been a one woman man, even during my wild army days. I had never been unfaithful to any of my lovers, I had always had only one at a time, I had never even thought of being with someone else after I had met Alice but it had all changed now. The world had shifted and it no longer revolved around Alice as it had before. We had lost our intensity and it had nothing to do with the fact that she had lied to me or divorced me, it all had to do with the fact that we were not as meant to be as I had deluded myself into believing.

I guess I had decided that the one I couldn't live without and the one I wouldn't live without were one and the same. Bella was the only woman I wanted and I would never been with another now that both sides of my personalities had chosen the same mate. We were two halves of a whole, we were two sides of the coin. My soul was soothed and completed by hers. I would forever be content, in her life even if I didn't fill the slot of mate as I so desperately wanted to. I would settle for brother and best friend.

Bella knows and understands me like no one else ever could, not Alice or any of the others of the Cullen family. It was nice to have someone who knew what it was like to have to fight your instincts to attack even those you considered family. Even loving my family, I sometimes I had to resist the urge to attack my brothers, my father because males were not suppose to live together without a pecking order. Carlisle was Alpha but not because he was the strongest or best fighter. He was leader because we all respected him but it was hard for me to submit to his will when I could have been running the coven the way I was meant to when I lived in the south.

I am so stupid. As an empathy I should have more knowledge of feelings, especially my own. I had spent weeks trying to convince myself that my love for Bella was simply a best friend, sister, or family kind of love. I should have known from the beginning that my love for her went much deeper than a silly little platonic friend type of love. She had become so many things to me, a confidant, a lover, a mate, a best friend. She had allowed me to confide every little thought I had, every doubt.

I still worried about her. She was meant to be my beloved sister; while Alice was suppose to be my wife. I didn't know if I would ever get over the guilt I felt about stealing Edward's girl but I selfishly comforted myself with the thoughts that he left her, he had discarded her, and hadn't cared to retrieve her. I had saved her, and I am the one she had chosen. I was the one that was special to her now. I was sickened by my dark side but I did feel a certain satisfaction in his perverse pleasure over one-upping my brother.

As much as I loved and wanted and needed Bella; the good human side of me said let Edward win back his love. I was confused all over again. I needed to talk to my other confidant. I needed my big brother Emmett.

Emmett and been surprisingly insightful. He was really smart and world wise but he often hides it behind his playful and carefree attitude. I was anxiously waiting for my bear-like brother who ironically would be showing up with the source of my problems in a matter of days. I was hoping to speak to Emmett before I was confronted by Edward.

***Emmett's point of view***(The day Demetri visited Forks)

I had been out on a hunt and had found a whole cave full of my favorite meal. When I returned to the house I had been met by Edward at the door. Apparently when I had been gone the Volturi guard arrived and had asked about Bella. Thankfully Edward didn't know anything and they had allowed him to live without harming him at all.

Alice had called us and told us to put our rears in gear and to get to the island as soon as possible. We were getting ready to leave when the door bell rang. We both freaked being caught totally unaware. We found Demetri at the door, with a red letter in his hand. He extended it to us and said nothing, just smiled creepily.

Alice called us as soon as he was away and told us to run. As soon as we hung up, we were gone. Once Demetri was out of Edward's range, we practically flew to the airport, putting as much distance between us as possible. I was glad to be heading home. I knew it was technically Jasper and Bella's place but I lived where my family was and since that is where they were it was home. I was worried about the family but I couldn't help be excited to go home.

I wondered how Bella would react to being so close to Edward again. I didn't know if she would ever forgive him for leaving her but that didn't mean that she wouldn't take him back if he asked her too. Since Jasper hadn't been sure if he should have chosen Alice or Bella, I am sure that Bella must be facing the same dilemma. I hoped everything would be all right hadn't spoken in hours and I was nervous about what he was thinking.

***Edward's point of view***(On the plane to New Zeland)

Listening to Emmett's thoughts caused me to chuckle darkly in the back of my mind. My thoughts mirrored his. I didn't know if Bella could forgive me but I dearly hoped that she still loved me even if it was just a little. I think I would cease to exist if she no longer loved me at all.

I couldn't help but wonder if Jasper was more deserving of her than I. He had never harmed her emotionally or mentally as I had, true he had tried to kill her but even then her physical injuries were my fault.

I would just have to be patient and wait to see what card the hands of fate dealt me.

***Bella's point of view***(The week Jasper spent in the main house with Alice)

I had spent the last few months in a daze. Nothing but the house to keep my occupied from my problems with the family; I was so lucky to have Jasper, he understood and I didn't even have to tell him. I had felt an odd sense of urgency to build this house like an invisible deadline was racing towards me but I wouldn't see it coming until it was too late to stop it.

I felt the pressure of the two forces that were coming down on us. Alice had seen a flash decision of Victoria's plans. She had a newborn army and was waiting for the Volturi to track us down. I knew Victoria would wait until the guards had struck before she would attack us. Allow them to weaken and kill as many of us as possible before she came and finished us off.

As much as I wanted to destroy her for interrupted my peace and eternity with Jasper, I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. She had lost her love and had nothing but revenge to occupy her. I knew that I would hunt down anyone who harmed my Jasper even if it meant hunting them forever. I could sympathize but I still felt she was wrong, James hurt us first. We had never done anything to him; it was all just a sick game to him.

I hoped we could deal with the Volturi peacefully but I knew it was just as likely to end in a fight as friendship. I was sick of thinking about this; so I turned my thoughts to my less life threatening problems but the one that were more emotionally damaging; mostly Edward.

I had stepped aside for Alice so that Jasper would be free to choose whichever way made him happy. I wasn't worried about my heart or happiness as long as he was happy with his life. I hoped by stepping aside and letting him have room to think that he would be less uncomfortable with making his choice. I had never even entertained the idea that he wouldn't return to her. I thought that once he saw her again all would be as it was before. I knew how hard it was for a vampire to change and I figured he hadn't really changed, he just forgot while Alice was so far away and out of reach.

I felt guilty that I was relieved that he had to think about it. It let me know it was okay for me to think about it. I had already chosen my love, but it was nice that Jasper thought I should think about the choice even if I didn't pick him. I can't help but think that Edward wouldn't be that gracious.

I cringed at the thought of Edward. I still loved him in a small, secret part of my heart but he wasn't who I thought he was. My perfect fairy tale had been shattered and I didn't know what to do with that. I wasn't sure I could forgive him for treating me so harshly and leaving me alone. Even if I managed to stay with Edward a part of me would always long for my southern gentleman, with honey blonde hair and a slow drawl.

I had to stay locked up in the bungalow or I would not be able to let him go. I was trying desperately but I wasn't sure I could totally give up my southern gentlemen. He hadn't gone back to Alice which means that I mean as much to him as he means to me. I think he was feeling the way I did, that we should go back to our original loves because we would make our family picture perfect again the way it use to be. The only problem now was if we went back to the way things were the smiles we wore in the picture would be fake and we would both know it.

I missed the way we had been before the family, Victoria and Aro were in our lives but I had missed the family. Maybe it would all work out after we had dealt with the threats on our lives.

I didn't know if I should be thinking about my Jasper or my Edward. I knew my Edward was someone I had made up, he wasn't exactly the way I had created him in my mind, but did the fact that he had faults and made mistakes mean that I shouldn't love him. I knew I had made plenty of mistakes and I should be so judgmental of him just because I had believed her was perfect.

I wondered why I couldn't have just stayed in love with Edward. My life could have been so much simpler; I wouldn't have to constantly worry about hurting my two loves, my best friend, or my family.

Edward had left me. He told me to move on; it was what he had wanted and I had. Granted he had never intended for me to fall in love with his brother, and the scapegoat for his leaving. It isn't my fault that he forced me to move on, it isn't my fault if he doesn't like the man I chose to move on with. It wasn't my fault that he had failed to do the exact thing that he had told me to do. It wasn't right, and it wasn't fair for Edward to put this pressure on me to choose between them, he had no right to ask me to love him again. He shouldn't be able to parade in and out of my life destroying my peaceful existence and stirring up chaos.

I tried to imagine a future with Edward; the only problem was that in the background of every picture I painted there was Jasper and he looked miserable, a fake smile plastered on his face so that I would he happy. He was just waiting for me to realize the truth; which was that I would always belong to him.

When I imagined my future with Jasper, I saw a slightly upset Edward but it never lasted, as I progressed through the years, both Alice and Edward eventually had a faceless person at their sides, their soul mates. I think Edward would be miserable for a short time in order to be happy for a lifetime. I had finally made a decision; there was no longer even a hint of hesitation. I was relieved that even after thinking it through and weighting my options I still was able to follow my heart. My heart, head and soul finally agreed. Jasper would be my only love, for the rest of forever.

Once the decision was made I could pin-point what had held me up from making a decision. The human side of Bella wished to hold on to the past, wanted something left over from my human life. Being with Edward would make me feel closer to the Dagda family that I had chosen. However the real me, the Arazil vampire me wanted the man who was most like me, Jasper. Each half of my life and myself had picked a different man. My difficulty was that they hadn't made the same choice.

I now knew that the human part of me was the past, the part that loved Edward needed to be in the past. I would remember our love fondly and as the experience I needed to recognize my real mate when he finally arrived. Now that I had let my old self go I felt light and free the way I had before I had regained my memories. Even the threat of the Volturi couldn't disturb the peace I felt now.

***Jasper's point of view***(Waiting for Edward and Emmet's plane to arrive)

I had been spending quite a bit of time with my family, including Alice in the hopes of establishing a friendship with her that wasn't awkward or strange. I had even attempted to treat her as I use to just without the mate aspect of it. I found that I couldn't fake it, we would need to reestablish our relationship from the ground up. I couldn't fake the easy relationship we had but I could start a new one. She was agreeable to starting a new friendship and we agreed that we would act as if we were newly acquainted with each other, relearn about each other.

I missed Bella. She wasn't avoiding me as she had been; now that I had made a decision but she was always lost in thought and from her emotions I knew it was important enough that I shouldn't be in her way. I would wait for her to settle whatever plagued her and then I would tell her that I had chosen her.

I knew Bella could feel my misery because she would now often come into my study and read or draw up new blue prints for the house and resort. Bella and Alice were now becoming friends again and when I told her I had made my decision, she had invited me back to our sanctuary, where she preceded to ask me endlessly if I was sure and that she hadn't pressured me. It took hours but I finally convinced her that I chose her because I loved her most and she was the one that I wanted.

I finally got to know what had plagued her mind, she too had made a decision but she had also learned some interesting things about her powers. She could turn her powers on and off, with everyone except me. Even when she was blocking her gifts she could still sense me, feel my emotions and if I wasn't blocking she would hear my thoughts. Apparently whenever I get lost in asinine thought she picks them up as if I had projected them. It was only when I was deep in serious thoughts that she had to concentrate to hear my mind.

My gift could only be partially shut off. She wasn't affected by the emotions all the time as I was but she almost always felt them unless they were really faint or far away. I spent the night but I had told myself that we wouldn't slip back into couple mentality until I had talked to the bear.

Luckily he would be here in a just a few short hours. He would let me know if what I was doing was right for all of us or if I was just being selfish. Emmett could always be counted on to tell you how it was even if that isn't what you wanted to hear. I needed to hear the truth no matter how much it hurt me.

I decided to go to the waterfall near the middle of the island. It fell into a beautiful clear blue pool, teaming with beautiful fish. I could have sat there forever listening to the water crash into the pool below, I felt relaxed and peaceful.

As I approached the falls I was met with a lovely sight. My love was bathing under the waterfall. She was wearing a sapphire blue bikini and she had never looked lovelier then she did right at that moment. The sun was glistening off her skin, casting prisms all over the rocks that surrounded the falls. Her gorgeous hair was fanned out behind her making her look like a water nymph.

I stripped down to my swimming trunks and quickly swam out to where she was, staying hidden under the water. When I reached where she was, I surfaced and wrapped her in my arms.

"Bella" I murmured. She silenced me with a sweet chaste kiss. We stood there letting the water cascade down our bodies for an infinitesimal amount of time. When the sun set, she gently took my hand and led me thought the woods, to our bungalow. I had told myself to talk to Emmett but I knew he wouldn't change my mind so I didn't feel guilty for being with my beautiful Bella. We retired to our room and spent the night recommitting ourselves to each other and sharing all the love we had kept pent up for the last few days. We passed away the night and a good portion of the morning.

I felt peaceful as I hadn't in so long, I had missed having her curl into my side and it was where I wanted her to stay forever tucked under my chin and wrapped in my arms. This was my idea of heaven and it was all that I would ever need.

"Emmett is outside" She spoke quietly. As if to not startle me after such a long time without words; the night had been filled with soft murmurs and sounds of pleasure but we had not needed to exchange real words. It seemed almost sacrilegious to break the silence we had spent the night in. "Edward is with him…"

I had been feeling peaceful, my body had been thrumming with the currents of our love and tranquility, at these words it all screeched to a halt and I felt as if ice water had been poured over my body.

I decided I would speak to my brothers privately, and outside of our sanctuary. I suggested Bella shower while I took care of my brother. She kissed me once more and then disappeared into our bathroom.

Since I needed to speak to them both; I dressed and headed for the door. I hesitated before opening it to steel my resolve and gather my wits before I exited to greet my brothers, one of whom just happened to be my biggest rival.


	23. Emmett's Wisdom

Author's note: Am I the only one bothered when people misspell Emmett, as either Emmet or Emett, because they both really bother me.

Emmett's Wisdom

***Edward's point of view***(Early December)

We had finally arrived at our destination, our new home. I would finally see my love. As much as I wanted to see her beautiful face, I was filled with an over whelming fear.

I feared to see her because she would not be the Bella, I remembered. Gone would be the soft, blushing, brown eyed girl; now she would be a vampire. I didn't even know what I would say to her or how I would react to her new, sturdier form. How would I even begin to apologize for total abandonment?

Emmett led me towards a small bungalow in the forest. Jasper was inside but the rest of the family was not around. I imagine they were in the large house we had seen when we circled around the island. Emmett must have wanted me to speak to Jasper before anyone else.

I studied the place. It was cute, comfortable, a cozy little private hideaway; perfect for lovers who wanted to spend some quality time alone. A growl rumbled deep in my chest but I kept it low enough so that not even Emmett could hear.

I listened for Jasper's mind. It was oddly peaceful, an almost blank haze. He must have sensed us because almost as soon as we approached he appeared outside, quietly shutting the door behind him. As angry as I was with my brother and as much as I resented him for stealing my love I was really happy to see him.

I had missed my brothers, playing with them, our Cullen male only hunts, and mock fighting in the back yard. I couldn't believe that I had drifted so far from my family. I vowed to myself that no matter what the future held I would no longer distance myself from my family, they loved me as much as I loved them and it wasn't right to take my frustrations out on them.

I started to hesitantly approach my brother. Just before I reached him the wind shifted bringing Jasper's scent towards me. I instantly froze. After a complete second of total blankness, my mind registered the scent and my mind when into overdrive.

Emmett stiffened beside me. Jasper wasn't alone, he reeked of fresh sex. The scent of his partner was strangely familiar. It clung to him and swirled around us on the wind. My overdriven mind ground to a halt, he smelt of freesias…Bella. My mind filled with racing thoughts and a red haze settled over my eyes.

He had spent the night with my Bella. He knew I would be arriving and he did this just to taunt me. He had no right to be peaceful and calm when I was in agony. He realized his mistake the second our eyes met and he carefully studied my emotions. He was no longer moving towards me. He opened his mouth but I couldn't hear anything but a strange roaring in my ears.

I could see the images of the two of them together. I couldn't tell if it was from my mind or his. I was furious, I had taken an aggressive step towards him when I realized that the Bella in my thoughts was human and they were all from my mind. I couldn't decide if I was relieved that he hadn't shown me or not.

I wanted to attack him, pull him apart piece by piece and watch him burn until nothing but ash was left. He had Alice; he didn't need to take my Bella. I couldn't face him. Especially knowing she was still in the house behind him. I wondered if she was still laid out in the bed, naked and smelling of Jasper. I wondered if she was thinking of him and going over every detail of the night.

My vision flooded until I could see nothing but crimson. I turned in the opposite direction and ran. I ran away from the bungalow, I ran from the manor, and my family and mostly I ran away from the scent of my love…clinging to my brother.

***Jasper's point of view***

I felt Edward's happiness at my presence. I hadn't expected him to have missed me or be happy to see me. I felt a little guilty, I had been dreading his arrival. I moved towards him until his body tensed up and his breathing halted. He looked like a marble statue.

His emotions poured out and washed over me. Shock, betrayal, jealousy, pain, hurt, and finally they were all consumed by a deep rage. He turned and disappeared into the forest. I knew I needed to talk to him but I think he needed some time. He had known Bella and I were together in the intimate sense but I think he hadn't really accepted it until the moment that our mingled scents reached him.

"I think that maybe you should have showered first." Emmett said after a few tense moments of staring at the spot where Edward had disappeared into the forest. I didn't know if he was joking or trying to be helpful.

"I wasn't trying to be cruel. I just wanted to talk to him." I was still a little stunned, that wasn't at all how I had planned my first encounter with Edward to go. I had honestly expected a fight. I expected that we would begin to talk, get into an argument and then attempt to kill each other. I never expected him to run.

"I know you were not being cruel. I know you would never hurt any of us on purpose." Emmett was very understanding. I often wondered how he viewed the world. He always seemed to over look our faults. He is a strange combination of ageless wisdom and childlike innocence.

I knew had seriously screwed up. I don't think that first meeting could have been any worse unless he had actually walked in on us. I gestured for Emmett to join me for a walk along the shoreline. As we walked I told him all about everything that had been going on the last few weeks. Everything that had happened between Alice and me and Bella and I. I also told him about all the thoughts and revelations I had had during the short separation.

Emmett listened quietly. When I had finished he skipped his usually jokes; which I was thankful for and looked thoughtful for some time. It seemed like hours had passed before Emmet spoke.

"It seems that you were holding on to Alice, so that you couldn't completely commit until you were sure of Bella. I don't think you love Alice romantically anymore."

"I still love Alice." I quickly defended. "It is just different."

"Yeah, the difference is that while you still love her, you are no longer in love with her. It's the type of love you feel for Rosalie, as a sister. I mean you use to freak at being away from Alice for a hunting trip. Now you spent almost a whole year away from her and you did it by choice and it was easy for you."

"Bella helped keep me distracted." I hated to admit he was right. I felt guilty that I had gotten over the divorce so quickly.

"It is okay dude. I mean it is what made me know you were real about Bella. I mean when we took guy only hunting trips, it was easy to go and forget about our wives for a couple of days and have some good old fashioned guy bonding time and you always went, even when Alice begged you to go shopping with her. Bella doesn't even need to ask you, you seldom leave her and even when you do; you stay connected to her through her emotions. It has never crossed your mind to leave for any type of long trip. I think you are trying to force things with Alice so that you don't have to hurt her or Edward and to ease your guilt."

"I am also worried about Bella." I was actually very anxious about Bella and the upcoming confrontation with Edward. I missed the calm of last night.

"Do you think she will reject you? That she will go back to the way things were, her with Edward?" Emmett asked softly but with a hint of anger.

"No, I am worried that she will accept me, making me the happiest man alive; only to find down the road that she made a mistake and I am not what she really wanted. I don't want her feelings to fade. I also don't want her to always regret not giving him another chance, and being unhappy with me. If she chooses me; I worry that I will always wonder if she made the right choice and if she should have tried to work things out with Edward. As long as she is happy, I am. No matter what makes her happy."

"Why haven't you talked to her about all this? That way you could express how you feel about everything and see how she feels; at least then you will know what she really wants. If she wants you, then be happy and love her forever. I would at least get her to talk to Edward though, that way they can at least be friends. Then Bella and more importantly you will know that her decision is final and is what is right for her." Emmett seemed to know that Bella would need to speak to Edward before any of us got any peace.

"What if she isn't sure she wants me?"

"If she isn't sure let her have time and space. Hell, let her try it with both of you, whatever it takes for her to decide and to be confident in her decision. Then there will be no what ifs. She will have given Edward a fair chance to sway her and her choice will be an informed one. No one will have to worry or have any lingering doubts."

"Thanks Emmett. I honestly thought our last talk was a fluke and you were going to laugh at me and tease me mercilessly and tell horrible jokes."

"Thanks, I really appreciate that. I mean I did think about a few limericks and tell you guys to do a group thing but I decided that since you are coming to me with a serious problem, I should give you my best behavior." He smiled at me with humor. I resisted the urge to smack him upside the head for the group activities comment but he redeemed himself.

It did make me think. I could picture a group think, I could picture me and the girls, just Bella and I. I could even imagine Edward and Alice but I had trouble with Edward joining me and Bella and I refused to even entertain the idea of Bella and Edward in bed together.

I didn't think I would be able to share her, not even with Alice. I would try if she wanted to and it made her happy. I wouldn't like it but I would deny her nothing that she wanted. However, I don't think I would be able to control myself around Edward. I mean the Arazil in me already wanted to kill him just for being in my territory and near my mate, I knew he would do almost anything to take her from me.

I also knew Emmett was right. One way or another she would have to be sure of her choice, and us.


	24. Traitor

Traitor

***Jasper's point of view***

After my talk with Emmett, I decided it was time to face my brother. As we approached the main house we could hear raised voices. Alice and Edward were having an epic shouting match. I don't think I had ever heard them speak to each other in such a way.

"I just don't understand how you could have screwed up so badly!" Edward shouted.

"I didn't screw up, Edward! My vision is subjective, you know this. People change their minds and the vision changes. It wasn't meant to be this way but they changed their minds." Alice was close to sobbing. "He was suppose to come home to me, we were suppose to be together forever and you and Bella were going to make up and get married."

I growled low in my chest. He couldn't marry my Bella, I would never allow it. I would kill him before I allowed him to marry my Bella.

"What changed then?" Edward's words were barely audible and I could hear the defeat in his voice just as strongly as his emotions.

"I don't know. In my vision he bit her and when the transformation was complete he brought her to the house in Alaska."

"So when they decided to run and travel instead of going to Alaska the vision changed. How could you let it happen if you were even slightly unsure of the outcome?" Edward now sounded more desperate than angry.

"I don't think it had anything to do with traveling. It is something deeper than that, I could never put my finger on it. I think it has something to do with… Jasper's darker half" The last of the statement was said in a whisper but since Emmett and I were right outside the doors to the library we both heard her. Emmett glanced over at me nervously.

I laughed. I couldn't help it. It was just too funny. Begin a psychic and a mind reader made them think they knew everything but they didn't know a freaking thing about emotions. They were all staring at me like I had lost my mind. I could feel the darker aspect of my personality creeping in to my laugh and my voice.

"I will tell you guys what changed. It is actually very simple." I paused to let the anticipation build. Edward began to shift around nervously. "Emotions," I stated quietly "Our emotions changed. Edward you left Bella, hurting her deeply and damaging her almost beyond repair. Alice you played me, betrayed me, and filed for divorce. We both realized we were better off without you and decided to move on with someone more worthy. Plus being of the same blood line we are much more compatible with each other than with the two of you.

Alice looked puzzled, Emmett nodded and Edward growled loudly.

"I knew you were influencing her!" He shouted and fury radiated off of him.

I smiled without humor. He was so desperate, he was grasping at straws. He knew I wouldn't have influenced her in such a way but he would rather believe that, than she actually loved me more than him.

"I have not altered her emotions. When I found the divorce papers I was shattered, as was Bella when you so callously abandoned her, Edward. We have lost all faith in the two of you. I understand you both acted in the method that you believed to be in everyone's best interests but you have destroyed something in Bella and I, and it cannot be fixed with an apology. I cannot speak for Bella but I don't know if I can ever regain my trust in either of the two of you. That is what changed. We could easily forgive the family because they didn't harm us as deeply as you did. They hurt us, but not as enduringly as the two of you. Bella and I understand each other completely. Everything can just flow between us, none of this pretentious bullshit that we had to put up with you guys. Nothing needs to be explained or forced with us. It is as easy as breathing."

They all just stayed still, like statues.

"I cannot speak for Bella, so Edward you must speak to her when she is ready. However, I can say this I cannot return to Alice. The love I felt for you is gone because I can no longer trust you. I have been hurt deeply but your actions. I know that you did it with good intentions but you have destroyed a piece of my soul. I can forgive you but not forget it. I would always have to wonder if you would sacrifice me to get something you wanted. I don't think I will ever really trust you again but maybe in time we can be friends." I waited for a response and when none was forthcoming I turned to my brother.

"As for you my dear brother, I am willing to step aside if Bella wishes it. I plan to discuss it with her and should she choose you, I will graciously bow out allowing her to be with you. Hell, I will even be happy for you. I would forever be waiting in the wings but I would not interfere with your relationship. Should she choose me, I would expect the same courtesy from you."

Having said all I needed to, I turned and swiftly exited, ignoring Alice's cries to speak with her. I swiftly made my way to the cottage. Bella was curled up in our bed, the comforter clutched under her arm and staring out the double doors into the ocean.

I climbed into the bed behind her ,wrapping her in my arms. We lay quietly until full dark. She slowly turned in my arms, staring deeply into my eyes and placing a chaste kiss on my lips.

"I heard what you said today. Thank you for not speaking for me. It is nice to be with someone who trusts my judgment. Even though I agree with everything you said." She placed her hand over where my heart should be to convey the sincerity of her words.

"Darling, I trust you to do what make you happy, whatever is right for you. I just want you to know that should you choose Edward, I will honestly try to be happy for you. Besides if you ever decide he was the wrong choice, I will always be right here waiting for you." God, I loved this woman, so much. I almost couldn't stand it. I would be crushed if she didn't choose me.

"I don't think I could ever trust him again. Sometimes I wish I could just pretend it all never happened and fall into his arms. I hate to see that look on his face and know that I put it there. I can't just pretend that things haven't changed. I was wishing for him to return when Laurent found me. I wished for death so that I could be peaceful. I wished to be free from him the way he was so obviously able to be free of me. Then I heard your cries, the darkness receded and all I could see was the honey-blonde of your head. After we had made love and you turned me, I forgot all about him and when I did remember it was only the pain he had caused me. I thought I couldn't live without him. He isn't my world anymore. It's you; you are the one I can't live without. When you walk away from me, I can feel your absence, the thought of you not being here and I find it impossible to think, to breath. I don't want to hurt Edward, but I don't want to hurt you either. Edward maybe in my heart but you exist in my very soul. I honestly and completely love you, Jasper Whitlock."

My emotions exploded all over the place. She had never before told me she loved me. Sure being an empath I could feel it but it was something entirely different to actually hear it.

My heart soared but I didn't allow my hopes to get too high. Edward could always change her mind but I would gladly accept any type of love she was willing to give me.

"I love you too, Darling." I had never spoken truer words yet they didn't express the depth of my devotion or adoration for my lovely mate.

We lay in each other's arms for hours. I would have stayed like that forever if I could have. I would have too if I hadn't become aware of someone waiting outside. I couldn't imagine who it could be. Some of my family would have just entered, namely Emmett, Rosalie, Edward and Alice. The rest would have knocked (Carlisle and Esme.) A worker would have gone to the main house. I wondered if it was Edward and if he was trying to decide to enter or not. I made the decision for him and moved towards the door. I threw it open and was absolutely terrified by who stood before me.

***Bella's point of view***

Jasper had just left to get the door and I was debating on what I would wear today when I felt a spike of fear pierce through Jasper. Fearing the worse, I flew to the front door. I was ready to defend my mate and was frozen in shock by the picture before me.

A young man knelt at Jasper's feet in the doorway. He had on a strange grey cloak and burgundy eyes. I couldn't understand Jasper's fear, the boy seemed totally submissive but searching his thoughts I learned the truth. He was a member of the Elite Volturi guard. Extremely powerful, he could numb the senses, he was one of the witch twins.

Alec Volturi.

***Jasper's point of view***

After I had opened the door and identified our guest as Jane's brother Alec Volturi. I was in complete shock as he sank to his knees and bowed his head; Bella approached behind me, first feeling protective, and then confusion and finally nervous. I was surprised when she wasn't afraid but as she wrapped me in her shield I understood. He couldn't touch us using his gift.

"I heard rumors of your home as a vampire safe haven. I come seeking shelter from the Volturi."

I was immediately suspicious but I could sense no deception from him. Bella sent me a wave of trust. I turned just enough to read her expression while keeping an eye on Alec. She moved to my side, taking my hand and lacing our fingers.

"Why don't you join us up at the main house and we can all sit down and talk." Bella smiled sweetly at Alec and he quickly agreed.

He followed behind us and the main house came into view he felt an odd mixture of awe, adoration, nervousness and excitement. I had never really taken notice of Alec without the exception of fearing his powers. His sadistic sister always took center stage. Bella had been working on Edward's gift and was now able to project things to others but only if you were under her shield, we had tried without it but so far it didn't work, maybe with enough practice she could.

Since I was always under her shield we were able to have complete conversations in our minds. Through her gift I was able to keep an eye on Alec. I looked straight ahead chatting about nothing. Bella gazed at me with love filled eyes while subtly watching Alec. She allowed me to see him clearly, we were both waiting for him to give himself away but he seemed sincere about joining us but after centuries as a Volturi guard, I could not easily trust him. My lovely Bella wasn't as suspicious but remained cautious. She was tense and ready to protect me, as I was her.

I still sensed no hostility or deception. Maybe he truly was seeking sanctuary.

When we finally were seated in the parlor, I called together the family. I felt their shock and anxiety but they all kept quiet and waited for Bella and I to explain Alec's presence.

After giving a brief recount of what took place I turned the floor over to Alec so that he could explain in detail why he deflected from his masters and sought us out.


	25. Chelsea's Chains

Chelsea's Chains

***Alec's point of view***

"Well, I guess it all started a few months ago, shortly after Demetri saw Bella at a night club." I began hesitantly.

Jasper growled lowly at the mention of Demetri but I continued my tale.

"Aro had been intrigued by Bella and Jasper's deflection from the Cullen coven. He sought out information about you two. After a few months he knew all that he could from rumors. That Jasper was from the south but had joined Carlisle's coven. He also found that Bella was an extremely well controlled newborn. He assumed it was because of Jasper's influence and past experience with them. Anyway, he wanted to get them to Volterra using any means needed and assembled a special team in order to do it. A few elite guards were chosen, and my sister and I were chosen to lead them."

Several of them let out hisses and low growls. Carlisle quickly shushed them. When they had all fallen silent he bid me to continue.

"So we were training extensively, during one session Chelsea was knocked totally unconscious. While her mind was busy trying to heal itself, her gift was out. If you don't know, her ability is to affect relationships. She can choose to strengthen or weaken relationships or even completely sever them. While she was out, I was no longer bound by her gift. My mind was unaffected for the first time in centuries and I didn't like what I had become."

"What happened when she was in control again?" Carlisle asked.

"When she was in control again, so was her gift. Only I wasn't affected by it as I had been. I could see through it. I felt it come over me again but not as strongly. I was able to ignore it and make my own decisions. Most of the guard is under her control. The only ties I had left was my beloved Jane, my twin sister. Yet she didn't seem to wake as I did. It took me weeks to realize the change in me was because I was no longer affected by Chelsea and I was no longer bound to the Volturi. I then realized why Jane had not woken, she had never been affected, and her loyalty to Aro is real. She has twisted and warped herself to what he wants from her out of her own free will. I was horrified that Jane had not needed to be affected but had allowed me to be."

They all looked shocked and angry. I continued on, I didn't need their sympathy, just understanding and patience.

"I know you won't believe this but Jane use to be a very sweet girl. We loved each other very much and I took care of her before Aro. He has twisted our love into something false, an imitation of the way we use to be. My sister really does enjoy her gift, she is truly sadistic and loves the pain she inflicts on others. I couldn't do it anymore, and I can't just sit back and watch her do it either. I knew she wouldn't leave with me, so I hid my distaste for them behind my indifferent mask and waited for Demetri to return from tracking you guys. When he did he told me only the two males were at the house. That the rest of you had disappeared and were openly defying Aro's request. I quickly made my way to the white house but I had missed you, I followed you to the airport and tricked the people behind the counter into telling which plane you had caught."

I paused and took in their reactions; they were listening with open minds it seemed.

"I also caught a plane to New Zealand but I didn't use that airport. I traveled to New York to catch a plane. When I arrived here, I began tracking vampires and eventually I found my way to the smaller island."

Now that my tale was done, I was hesitant to ask my request again in front of them all.

"I do not wish to return to them. I would like to make my own decisions and enjoy the rest of my existence without fear of them. I beg you to allow me to stay."

I waited for them to judge me; to once again be cast out. I didn't know who would answer but when the beautiful brunette smiled, I couldn't help but return it. I knew then that everything would be okay. I released a breath I hadn't known I was holding.

***Jasper's pint of view***

As Alec told his story I could feel how truthful his words were. He couldn't be lying. I could also feel my family's suspicion evaporate to be replaced with sympathy and compassion. My mother was already softening and wishing desperately to comfort him.

When he asked to stay I immediately turned to gauge Carlisle reaction. Before he could speak Bella smiled brilliantly and offered him a room on the third floor, it was between Edward's and Alice's. I was surprised that we hadn't even discussed it but I knew that it was Bella's house and her decision was ultimately the only one that mattered. She met my stare unblinkingly, smiled coyly and sent "_Trust me_" telepathically to me.

I could never deny her anything, especially my trust. So I accepted that she knew what she was doing. I nodded in agreement. He seemed elated that he would be allowed to stay and I could feel him relax. He quickly gave us a rundown on the current Volturi guards and their special talents, along with names, descriptions and abilities. Information about their new training program and as much as he could guess on Aro's dire need to see Bella. Even why he might want the whole family to be in his grasp. I could bet his guesses were pretty close to the mark, especially after knowing of Aro for centuries.

After he had finished his briefing, Alice volunteered to see him to his room, and Edward joined them so he could listen in on Alec's thoughts when he was alone. After a brief discussion with Carlisle we quickly made our exit.

I couldn't wait to know Bella's reason for allowing Alec to stay with us. We returned to the cottage and as soon as the door was closed. I kissed Bella hard, pushing her up against the wall and picking her up so that she could wrap her legs around my waist.

The nerves and panic of the day began to fade and we were both relaxing into the comfort of each other's presence. I pulled back enough so that I was far enough that we could talk and not be too tempted to continue our previous activities while we were still as physically close as possible.

"I let him stay because he really needed our help, he is giving us all the tactical information we need on the Volturi and he is going to be very special to our family, very soon."

I listened to her response and while I wasn't totally at ease with him being so close to my mate, I would allow him to stay as long as he wasn't a danger to my love. However, I would be keeping a close eye on Alec Volturi.

I wondered why he would be special to our family but I wouldn't press for information. She would tell me when I needed to know and enjoy watching me figure it out until then.

My thoughts turned somber as I realized I would also need to keep an eye on my brother. He was feeling a lot of possessiveness, jealousy, bitterness and anger. I know he would never harm Bella or me, or any member of our family but he would soon make a move on my Bella in an attempt to reclaim her and the true battle for her love would begin.

I hoped our love was strong enough to face all the trials that were coming towards us. Aro, Victoria, and the nostalgia of her first true love.

***Bella's point of view***

I had successfully been dodging Edward for days; keeping myself busy with the house, the workers, Alec and of course my love Jasper.

However, I knew I couldn't hide from him forever and it would only be a matter of time before we had our little heart to heart. I hoped we would both survive, literally. I feared that I would kill him every time he came to near. I didn't want to inflict any emotional or physical damage on him and I hoped he felt the same.

I knew one of us would lose it and it would turn into an argument. I don't want any of us to hurt anymore. I know one of us will and I have grimly accepted that it will be Edward who is hurt the most. I cannot be that girl that he loved. The sooner he realizes it the better off we will all be. The sooner the healing can begin… again.

***Jasper's point of view***

Bella and I had spent another beautiful night together and we once again found ourselves watching the sun rise, wrapped in each other's arms. She needed to drop off the new plans for the manor so I jumped in to the shower while she was gone.

I could feel her serenity all the way to the construction site; she was slowly making her way back, enjoying the morning. Suddenly her emotions shifted to nervous, afraid and angry. I feared that Alec had finally attacked. I grabbed my jeans, not even bothering to dry myself and raced away to save my girl.

As I got close enough I was able to identify the source of my sweet angel's fear. Edward.

They seemed to simply be talking but quickly it turned into a full blown argument. Bella was beyond furious, while my brother was hurt and confused.

"I told you how sorry I am, why can't you forgive me?" His voice was filled with tears he could never shed.

"I do forgive you, Edward. I forgive you for everything." Bella was exasperated and trying to regain her calm. I guess she had already told him several times.

"Then why won't you take me back? Why don't you still love me? I can't believe you betrayed me with my own brother! What happened to you!? What happened to us?" I growled, he was shouting at my love and my darker side was displeased. I couldn't believe Edward was shouting at a lady.

I was seeing red but I held myself absolutely still to see what Bella would do.

"What happened to me? Betrayed?" Her voice was calm and steady but her fierce gaze belied her gentle tone. I was instantly terrified for my brother. "You left me Edward. I was broken and alone to face the dangers you left me in. Danger you had sworn to protect me from. I wanted to die, every day was a struggle to keep my promise and stay alive for Charlie. It was too late though. I had died that day in the woods, the moment you had walked out of my life. I was a zombie and I was dying, being driven insane by Laurent's venom. Jasper saved me, brought me back to life, and reanimated the corpse that wore my face. He made me strong, beautiful, and graceful. He allowed me to be able to look after and protect myself. I no longer need to be looked after or guarded from danger, he understands that. I don't need or want someone dictating my life and keeping things from me. I now have the strength and speed that rivals your own."

Bella tore apart a few trees and crushed a boulder. She really was calm but I could feel the darkness within her welling up. Her wild nature was slowly creeping to the surface. If she attacked the weaker Dagda, he wouldn't stand a chance.

"If you could just give me a chance I could prove to you that nothing has changed." Edward desperately cried.

Bella went totally still for a split second before the Arazil demon broke free of her careful control and exploded out of her. She began shrieking and loudly snarling at my brother.

"I am _not_ your Bella any longer. She died. She is stone cold dead. Everything has changed, Edward. Everything." She was trying to reign in the demon.

Edward was shaking his head, denying her words.

"I will show you the truth." She dropped the shield from her mind and showed him everything. His weak spirit shrank back from the demon residing within his only love and he finally realized why Bella and I were truly meant for each other.

I had always hidden the demon from him and he never understood that I was a real demon while he was an imitation. He believed he lacked a soul but his wasn't as inherently evil as we were.

***Edward's point of view***

I was waiting for Bella to be alone to speak with her. So when she went to take blueprints to the building crew and Jasper took a shower, I seized the chance.

I could smell her sweet scent before she entered the clearing but once she spotted me, she froze. A light breeze brought her scent towards me and I could detect a hint of my brother's scent mixed with her sweetly floral one.

I was exceedingly hurt to have my love standing rigidly before me looking startled and fearful; smelling of fresh sex while my brother scent clung to her. I pushed it all aside to pled with her to take me back.

"Don't you love me anymore?" I asked dreading her answer. She sighed.

"I will always love you. It is just not the way I did. Edward, you are my first love and always will be, nothing will ever be able to change that but Jasper is my eternity. The truth is you are in love with a memory, I am not that girl and you no longer know me. I cannot pretend to be someone else for all of time just to make you happy."

"I told you how sorry I was, why can't you forgive me?" I was aware of another presence. I guess if you speak of the devil he appears because Jasper stood off to the left of the clearing we were in the middle of. That is how I now thought of my brother, the demon who stole my innocent angel.

I continued to plead with Bella, trying to make her understand and forgive me. She needed to know that I wouldn't get over her. She was my someone, forever.

She spoke calmly and it scared me, I could see the stormy fury swirling in her eyes. Her words cut me like knives. My Bella couldn't be gone, couldn't be dead. She stood before me. I needed to make her see.

"If you could just give me a chance. I could make you see that nothing has changed." She went totally still like a marble statue before she began screaming. I was so shocked, I couldn't hear her words at first but I figured it out when she dropped her shield and showed me everything from the first time she saw me to the meadow, my face as I told her I loved her, as I saved her from James, dancing at prom, the birthday party, my face over the days that followed, my face as I harshly told her I didn't want her; flashes of Laurent, Jacob and Jasper. Riding motorcycles and hanging at the beach with Jacob. Making love with Jasper, the change, her first hunt, the island, the family, me, and she finally showed me the Arazil demon that lived within her, hiding deep in her soul.

I no longer doubted our souls, she had showed me not only hers but mine as well. I believed Bella could never be soulless. She was too beautiful and pure, even being tainted by the demon's blood and having it simmering within her. I felt defeated. I could never understand her demon. My Dagda spirit shied away from her inner monster. I still loved her but even though she had put the shield back up, I could still feel the darkness in her and the pleasure she had felt in scaring me.

I could hear the purring of the demons inside both of them; they were truly mated and she and I could never be. Their souls recognized the connection and responded to each other with a sense of satisfaction.

Even with all the love she still felt for me there was no way to compete with her love for Jasper. I didn't want to see it, but there was no denying it. I couldn't stand for it to be true but when her shield was down, I could see everything and I knew I no longer held her heart.

The human Bella may have loved me best but she was no longer human and no longer mine. This filled me with sorrow but I quickly turned it into resolve.

I had always promised to do what was best for Bella, no matter how much it hurt me. I had thought my leaving was for the best and I was gravely mistaken. Now I would face the consequences of my actions. I would never leave her again; I would stay no matter what it cost me. I would stand beside her, being the best friend I could to her and a good brother to Jasper. I could only hope that my love would eventually fade enough to morph into a brotherly love. I doubted it ever would but I would be here in case she changed her mind. I could gracefully step aside as I had always promised myself I would.

I wondered if I couldn't have the one I wanted, my first true love, would I be forced to spend eternity alone. No, I may not have a mate but with the love of my family and our friends, I would never have to be alone or lonely.

Even with my heart breaking, I was finally thankful for this life, I felt real hope and was excited for the future.


	26. Bliss Interrupted

Author's Note: Lemon in this chapter, clearly marked but not terribly graphic.

Bliss Interrupted

***Jasper's point of view***(February)

In the weeks following the incident in the woods, Edward became my brother again and he tried to be a good friend to Bella. Though he often fled the room when his pain became too much. We took precautions to not flaunt our love in front of him and Bella kept our thoughts constantly under her shield. I was thankful she kept me cloaked so he didn't see the many fantasies and memories that often flew through my mind during lazy moments.

I had also noted the quick friendship between Alec and Alice. It was quickly blossoming into something more. I kept it to myself, but secretly I was very pleased she had moved on so quickly. I only wished Edward could do the same.

Alec was hesitant and wary of letting his guard down but he was becoming comfortable with us, mostly thanks to Alice and was attempting to at least lower the walls.

I hoped their newfound feelings were the lasting kind and would survive the war that I felt was brewing. Bella had bought more of the surrounding islands and on one of them was a township for the construction crew and their covens. Even though we only had a few covens living on the island, Bella was creating a huge town. When I questioned her about it, she told me that the Volturi had turned on the vampire race for the loss of Alec, particularly the Dagda. She was planning to shelter all those who fled from the Volturi.

The Denali's were the first to face their wrath. After dealing with their unannounced and unwelcome visitors they called us. After we explained everything to them they set off to gather our allies and Bella instructed them to send all the vampires here, both those wanting to join our fight and those seeking shelter.

Emmett, Rosalie, and Carlisle went to aid the Denali's. Esme, Alice and Bella flew into a frenzy to get everything ready both for our guests and our enemies. While Edward, Alec and I attempted to figure out how to deal with both the Volturi and Victoria, although we didn't know what she had planned. We had already drafted hundreds of plans, plotted battles on multiple locations, different key fighters, and different odds. We had made plans for advances, retreats, places to regroup, and how to adapt any plans with unpredictable changes. Even with all of these plans we feared we had overlooked a key detail that would lead to our downfall.

Bella laughed when I told her my fears. I stared at her in shock; I couldn't believe she would laugh at my feelings. Seeing my crestfallen face, she quickly reassured me with a quick kiss on my lips. She explained that with my military knowledge, Alec's inside knowledge of the Volturi, Alice's ability to see the future, Edward's mindreading and all of Carlisle's allies, not to mention her shield we would be perfectly safe, no matter what happened expected or not. She had absolutely no doubt that everything would turn out okay in the end.

She also reminded me of Carlisle's connection to Aro. It may not even come to a fight; it might be a friendly visit, as long as the Volturi behaved.

Our "guests" continued to arrive and though they have been brought in case of a battle, everyone was very relaxed and it was a friendly, stress free atmosphere. They were mostly in awe of the mansion and were very pleased with the little bungalows that Bella had made for each of them, they were almost exactly like the one she and I often escaped to.

Kate is currently trying to convince Bella to turn an island into a real resort, from the high rollers to family vacations. I think Bella likes the idea of making her own money and having something to work on all the time. I plan to encourage her to pursue it, after the battle.

Our island is out of the other islands sight by several miles. So if she had a resort she wouldn't have to worry about people bothering the main house, which was her biggest concern.

We had finally moved into the big house with the family, but we still often spent our nights at our special place. Our room was lavish, almost decadent, filled with beautiful dark woods that were intricately designed.

We had a lovely sitting room with black leather couches and chairs, a few mahogany end tables and a teak coffee table. It was a comfortable room both for sitting with guests and leisurely pastimes. A door led off to my study filled with all my books on the civil war, I liked that I could enter or leave my study either through the hall or directly into our quarters.

We also had a small private library filled with all the books we had purchased through our travels and several we had ordered for ourselves. Bella's romance novels took up an entire wall. We also had a huge bathroom, our tub was actually a small pool, I couldn't wait to swim some laps in it. We would be enjoying many hours in the pool/tub and Jacuzzi, not to mention the shower.

The bathroom was black tile and all the towels were either a pristine white or sapphire blue. In the dressing room, which was an enormous closet, we had our clothes, along with a few dressers and Bella's vanity.

Bella had placed a few candles and plants throughout our rooms to give it a softer, more female and lived in look.

I finally moved in to the bedroom, the one I was most anxious to see. The back wall was dominated by a huge bed. The west wall was mostly windows, which were currently covered in blinds, sealing out the light, it had a small bench running along the wall. The opposite wall was covered with a huge sound system.

I inspected the bed a little closer. The sheets were midnight black and it had a sapphire blue down comforter with matching pillow cases. It would look beautiful against my mates ivory skin and lustrous, mahogany hair.

I didn't think she had finished out room at first. Alice had always had lots of stuff everywhere and picked out bright, vibrant colors. Bella was fairly Spartan and slightly masculine with just whispers of female influence. I think I liked this approach better, it was a lot more male friendly and the colors didn't hurt my senses with garish vibrancy. I appreciated her incorporating my preference for wood and darker colors and making them to suit her tastes. It was simple, practical and uncluttered.

I had always kept my military discipline. I preferred only what was necessary, what was needed, what had a purpose. Alice had never understood that, and it had always been a problem for us. As much as I had loved her she often put me on edge with her continuous shopping and need for more stuff. It was wasteful.

Bella was watching me from the window seat. I had flashes of all the times we would sit there curled up together, me reading over her shoulder or us enjoying the sun's heat while we watched the waves. She smiled at me, pleased that I liked our rooms.

"I noticed none of our rooms have mirrors." I commented while looking at CD's and glancing at her covertly.

"I left them out. I know you don't like them and I have no need for them." She must have noticed I avoided reflective surfaces. I hated to see my scars. A constant reminder of my violent past and what I truly am, my real self looked back at me whenever I stood before a mirror.

"That is not who you are anymore. It was never really you to begin with. It was all forced on you and you became who you needed to be in order to survive. I know you hate the reminders but the scars show your strength. It not only means that you survived but that you were strong enough to turn away from that life and forge your own path. It was torturous but you made it out and you should be proud of that. Jasper, you won't ever have to go back to that life, you can let it go. Never again will you serve another."

I loved her more every day. She was the only one who never reacted negatively to my many crescent shaped scars. Even Alice would flinch and have to fight the urge to get into a defensive stance. Only Bella had always been accepting. I am not even sure she noticed them most of the time, she never reacted to them, and even my family still had to hide their fear whenever I was without a shirt. I have never regretted being a vampire, only being a soldier in Maria's army.

I banished all thoughts of my maker; they were unwelcome here, especially in the presence of my very own angel.

***Small Lemon***

I felt my lust building and sent a gentle wave of it to my lovely mate. She just grinned like an imp and beckoned me forward.

I leaned towards her and began to feather kisses all over her face and neck. She must have been impatient because she wrapped her fingers into my hair and forced my mouth to hers. Licking and sucking on my bottom lip, I opened my mouth to her searching tongue. We explored each other's mouth and she gently sucked on my tongue causing tingles to spread from my stomach to lower parts of my body.

I picked her up and she wrapped her legs around my hips. I carried her over to our bed before gently placing her upon it. I backed away removing first her shoes and socks, then mine.

She waited until my eyes were once again fixed on hers, before she slowly scooted to the end of the bed. She put her hands on my shoulders and applied pressure so I would kneel before her. She kissed me slowly, letting it become more urgent before trailing kisses across my jaw to my ear, flicking her tongue out quickly sending tremors down my spine before she moved down my neck and to my exposed chest. She paused before unfastening the top button of my shirt.

She watched my face for any signs of hesitation. When I showed none she continued to place light kisses after unfastening each button. When my shirt was completely undone, I slid it down my shoulders and to the floor while she placed a final kiss to the trail of light blonde hair leading from my belly button and disappearing into my jeans.

I quickly copied her movements but when I reached the top of her shirt I simply tugged it over her head before tracing the outline of her bra with my tongue.

I pushed her farther up the bed and crawled after her. When she finally rested against the pillows, I began my assault of her delicate body. I hovered over her, bearing my weight on my arms as I kissed and licked every inch of her delicious flesh. Her small, soft hands traced the patterns of my crescent shaped scars, her nails digging light trails across my shoulder blades and down the back of my biceps all the way to my wrists.

I had moved back to I could place a trail of open mouthed kisses down her stomach to the drawstrings of her pants, which I quickly untied and removed. I was frozen in surprise and consumed with lust when I discovered she wore nothing underneath her yoga pants.

I glanced up to find she had removed her bra while I was distracted and was smiling slightly at my dazed reaction.

"I had sort of counting on you loving the room and wanting to thank me for it, with this kind of reaction." She smiled coyly, my naughty little vixen.

I quickly backed up her body and had my mouth attached to hers once more. Her hands ghosted down to my jeans and quickly peeled them off followed by my boxers. I barely had time to kick them all the way off before she flipped us and straddled me.

I thought I had died when she ducked her head down to my erection and covered me in the slick, wet, goodness that was her mouth. I found it hard to believe she would do this for me and further more that she seemed to enjoy it. It was the first time someone had done this since I had left Maria. I felt instantly cold at the thought of her, but I was suddenly looking into Bella's beautiful and concerned topaz eyes. She moved back up the bed, quickly dipping her hips and I was completely sheathed in my angel and it was paradise.

"I thought I had lost you there for a minute, stay with me." she whispered.

"Always and Forever, for all of time." I replied before increasing the pace of my thrusts until we were both seeing stars.

***End Lemon***

We were blissfully wrapped in each other's embrace afterwards and I was quickly feeling up for a third round when our afterglow was interrupted.

Emmett was pounding on the door and quickly walked in. Bella cuddled closer to me and I shifted in front of her to cover her embarrassment.

"Carlisle needs us down stairs. We are having a family meeting, it is an emergency." I had never seen my brother so solemn.

We dressed at the speed of light and headed for the dining room which seconded as war central. When we arrived not only was out family there but the heads of all the covens that had arrived. We quietly took our seats and waited for the meeting to begin.

Alice looked nervous and Alec attempted to sooth her. Bella and I sent calming waves to all those seated at the table. Carlisle and Alice threw us grateful glances, and then Carlisle stood and began to speak.

"Alice has had a rather disturbing vision." He stated simply.

All eyes turned to Alice, awaiting an explanation.


	27. The Vision

The Vision

***Bella's point of view***

I guess it was a good thing all of our allies had arrived. We were still going to try to hold off a confrontation but if Alice had a vision that frightened her so badly, they must be coming and it must be to destroy us all.

"We have all been deceived!" She finally cried out. Instant pandemonium broke out. We all sucked in deep breaths. I felt betrayed. "The Volturi are coming still but they are not our greatest worry."

"What do you mean Alice?" Carlisle interjected.

"Victoria has been constantly changing her mind in order to confuse my visions. She set the Volturi on us, telling Aro that Alec was kidnapped by Bella and that she tricked him into following her and she is building an army in order to challenge them and having Alec here is to convince us that she is backed by secret sections of the Volturi. Aro honestly believes that she is working with a traitor inside Volterra and that she is attempting to overthrow his reign."

Alice paused for us to absorbed this information.

"Victoria has meanwhile been building a rather large army of newborns. She is currently making her way here with three hundred newborns. Her numbers keep fluctuating, she could come with more or they could kill each other. She is counting on a battle between the Volturi and our allies, hoping that we will decimate each other's numbers. Once both the Volturi and our allies are severely diminished, she plans to destroy the survivors by overwhelming them with newborns. Then she believes she will be able to take over easily. She is also hoping that all the animal drinkers will be destroyed. She believes we are inferior and that only "real" vampires should be allowed to live."

"Our best hope is to convince the Volturi that Victoria is lying to them and have them join our efforts to repel her army." Carlisle interjected. Many of the others nodded in agreement. They all knew that Carlisle would wish to avoid a fight. All those present are aware that Carlisle and Aro are old friends and this fact might offer a few moments of hesitation in order to convince Aro to they join us instead of attacking.

"Aro will see reason and help us eliminate the real danger, Victoria." Eleazar said calmly. I liked him, he was always so cool and controlled.

"She is still hiding something, I can see but it is still hazy. It must be something big to cloud all her decisions. I think it must be a secret weapon to make sure she wins no matter what!" Alice was very upset that her gift wasn't allowing her to see clearly, she had always relied on it to warn her of upcoming danger.

"What could possibly turn the odds more in her favor, than three hundred newborns? She already has superior numbers and strength, besides an army that size could double or even triple in a matter of days. Newborns are uncontrollable, they may kill each other but they fight for prey more often than they actually kill it." Emmett was upset but he seemed to take comfort in the fact that Jasper wasn't worried, mostly because Jasper had the most experience with newborns.

"She had more but they keep killing each other faster than she can turn them. She is also being careful to take them from areas where it will not be noticeable. It is slowing her down, both with moving them and finding more." Alice added.

As Alice explained I thought about it in my head, it had been a huge army of five hundred, now it has dwindled to three hundred. She kept turning them but she was losing more to fighting than they could turn. She hopefully wouldn't be able to regain those numbers in a few days and I wished to any god that would listen that the newborns killed each other before ever reaching my family. I worried that they would have destructive powers on top of having all their human blood in them.

"Even if the Volturi join us, she still outnumbers us. Even if most of the Volturi come, with their allies, and they joined us that only put our numbers at around ninety-five vampires. It is like four to one, granted they will be unskilled in their fighting skills but that doesn't mean they won't have control of their gifts."

I was worried. Even with our gifts and fighting skills would we be enough to hold off four apiece? I wanted to panic but I would wait until I was in private with Jasper.

"In our favor, almost all of the Volturi are coming… all of the elite guard, almost all of the regular guard. They only left a handful to protect the wives and the castle. They are very powerful and they even have some very well controlled newborns." Alice was trying to reassure us and I admit I needed the reminder but I still worried they would over whelm our skilled fighters simply by surrounding us.

I looked around at our allies, all the covens that had become out friends in this short amount of time. I looked into their faces and worried that soon I would never be able to look at them again. I tried to stay positive about our gifts and the fact that our abilities would make the playing field a little more even.

I felt hopeful, but my hopes were quickly to be dashed.

***Jasper's point of view***

I had been counting our allies and how many I expected the Volturi to bring. If everyone stayed it would bring us to ninety-five vampires. I knew that Victoria's group was at three hundred.

I hated the odds but how to fix the them? We had the power advantage but I wanted our numbers to be more even, the military man in me would not allow me to accept these overwhelming odds. I began to try to plan out how to gain more allies; I would never even think to turn someone simply to fight, so that left out the whole copy Victoria's idea. Almost all the vampire in existence were either with us, the Volturi, or Victoria's army. Bella was unwilling to ask the workers and was planning to let the Volturi know that they were not a part of the army, but she did have them acting as guards of her other islands and lookouts to warn us of the approaching army.

I needed someone who enjoyed fighting and didn't mind killing vampires. My mind froze. I couldn't believe I had been so stupid. I knew exactly who to call. Why hadn't I thought to call them before? I was a little reluctant to call them so soon, asking for help but I knew they would be more excited at the prospect of killing Victoria and her army than mad about a vampire Bella.

I quickly excused myself and went to make the call to the La Push werewolves. I dialed and waited patiently for it to connect and someone to answer, I hoped they were not all out patrolling.

I was momentarily amused that I had a signal on what is suppose to be an uncharted island. I guess with enough money, they will give you a freaking satellite to ensure signal.

I guess luck was still with me because he answered on the third ring.

"Hello?" A deep gruff voice answered, fresh from sleep.

"Hello, Is this Jacob Black?" I asked quickly. In case it was another wolf.

"Yes?" The voice was a little less sleepy and a lot more wary.

"This is Jasper." I could tell that he was instantly awake and started firing off questions.

"How is Bella? Did something happen? Is she hurt? Did she hurt someone? I knew I couldn't trust you to take care of her, I should have come with you guys, I wouldn't have allowed this to happen." He was furious and had no idea what was going on. I hoped the others would be calmer when they arrived.

I actually had to shout to regain his attention.

"Bella is FINE! She isn't hurt and has not harmed a soul. However, a certain red-headed vampire is back. Victoria is coming here and has made some new friends."

"The red-haired leech is coming after you guys? How many friends are we talking about?"

"At this moment, there are around three hundred. We have a small force and hope to gain more but even then we are only looking at between ninety and a hundred vampires. We really need help and a few extra large dogs would be vastly appreciated."

"I am in no matter what! I will talk to my brothers and get back to you as quickly as possible."

"Thanks, Jacob."

"Sure, Sure. Later Leech." He then hung up and I could only hope they would vote favorably.

Only a few hours had passed before he called me back. The entire pack was coming with the exception of a few new pups and a babysitter; all of the older wolves were coming along with all of the pups that were fifteen or older. That put them at about twenty wolves. They were all packed and ready to head out. All I needed to do was provide them with their destination. I quickly assured him that by the time he reached the airport, I would have already taken care of all the arrangements.

He told me that they were still a bit upset about Bella's death but they were willing to over look it because they all loved her and didn't care if she was a leech, because she was still their friend.

I spoke briefly to Sam. He told me his displeasure of learning I had broke the treaty but he was willing to admit that Jacob's argument was sound and that I was off the hook. I think he was secretly glad of the loophole. He asked after Bella and in a few short responses to the news of what she had been up to since she left Forks he had me convinced that he truly cared for her and wanted her to be happy. I couldn't decide if it was because she meant so much to Jacob or Sam's fiancée Emily. He was thankful that she had not harmed anyone and that his conscience was clear.

I was interested in actually meeting Sam. Thanks to my private jet the pack would arrive in about a day. It would give us a little over a week to train them, extensively.

The wolves arrived ahead of schedule, thanks to the direct flight and made it in about seventeen hours. They sleep for a few hours, before they joined me out back where the racetrack would soon be to train in vampire combat. Despite the whole mortal enemies bit they were pretty friendly and I found myself immensely found of Seth and Jacob.

Jacob and Bella were instantly cemented together and spend hours catching up, going over all the months they had been apart. I knew he loved her but I was not jealous of their relationship. She had chosen me and no matter what happened between them or how they felt about each other, I was confident in her love for me. He had a piece of her heart and he always would but that didn't take away from our love. He would always understand her in a way that I couldn't because it was the way only a best-friend could ever know. I also knew that their time together was short and these moments were precious to her, especially if they were the last moments they could have together happy and whole. I refused to deny them this time together; I wouldn't want what could be her last moments with him, tainted by my insecurities, doubt or jealousy.

No. I had faith in our love and I would prove it to her. The smile she threw to me let me know that she had been listening and not only approved of my attitude but was grateful for it.

The days flew by and far too quickly it was the day we expected the Volturi to arrive. We gathered together and went out to the beach.

Carlisle stood before us with our family and the wolves between them and our allies; we turned towards the east and awaited the sunrise. Time seemed to stretch on for forever but just as the sun passed over the horizon we saw them.

They glided forward, as almost a single entity. Not a single member of their guard was out of place. They slowly drifted towards us in all their cloaked glory.

A few hundred yards away they paused and one figure stepped forward. He lowered his hood and revealed his face. Aro, he was our greatest chance for survival and our greatest fear.

He smiled benevolently and began to speak.


	28. The Volturi

The Volturi

***Jasper's point of view***

I was surprised how things had turned out with the Volturi. Aro was calm and listened to Carlisle and we ended the whole debate without bloodshed or even a fight. After Carlisle had explained all about Victoria, Bella, the armies, and Alec, we all retired into the manor to discuss our options.

I was extremely displeased with Aro's interest in Bella but she kept us protected from all of their gifts. I was astounded that she was even able to protect me from Aro's touch.

Even weirder was Jane's preoccupation with the wolves. She was always around them, and she wasn't even using her powers. I had thought she was sweet on the little wolves Brady and Colin but I kept my thoughts to myself. I wasn't in a hurry to know if Bella could protect me from Jane.

I didn't want to admit it to her, but I was afraid to train Bella. I knew she was calm and even tempered, not at all like a regular newborn but I feared that her instinct would kick in during the battle and she would begin to fight like a newborn. Someone that Victoria could easily destroy. I concentrated my efforts into training her. I wanted her to rely on strategy not strength.

The only part of training I had trouble with was when it was time for her to test her shield. I did not worry about Kate or Zafrina, not even Alec or Ben but I felt my cool mask slipping when she faced Jane. On the outside I kept my stoic demeanor, played off cool indifference but inside I was fearful and angry for my mate's safety. I worried that Jane would be able to distract Bella enough to get passed her shield and I never wanted my sweet angel to know how it felt to be on the receiving end of Jane's sadistic smirk.

I felt the growl building in my chest throughout the whole ordeal but I fought to be civil to our guests. Everything was going great. Bella was easily over powering Jane. Jane's whole defense and attack plan was her power; she was useless against someone who was immune to her talent. Jane was a novice fighter at best, while Bella possessed a natural talent.

Bella was just about to claim victory when Felix and Demetri stepped into the ring. Several snarls erupted from those who surrounded the ring. One was obviously mine, the others coming from my brothers and Jacob and surprisingly my sister Rosalie.

Rosalie had always kept a careful distance from Bella, since the return of Alice, but not because she was jealous as everyone believed. Rosalie was the most insecure person I had ever met, her greatest fear was to open up and allow someone in. She didn't want to be hurt by someone she trusted ever again. The only person she ever truly let in was Emmett, not even our parents, Carlisle or Esme could breach her walls.

Rosalie had always felt a deep sorrow towards Bella. Perhaps she knew that Bella would not be with Edward forever, he would either kill her or leave her, or get her killed. She had once confided to me that Bella wouldn't last either through an accident or the decay of time. She feared to love Bella because she knew she would lose Bella at some point.

It was Edward that led to the separation that Rosalie had so feared but even though she had kept Bella outside the fortress that was her emotions she still felt the same loss that Alice felt, the loss of a friend and sister. Even though she acted as if she didn't care, Rosalie couldn't hide from herself or me.

These last few weeks they had pretended to be politely indifferent to each other but they had both come to love and respect the other even if they remained wary. I could feel Rosalie's fierce protectiveness pouring out and before I could diffuse the situation she had sprung into the ring in defense of her sister and was issuing a low warning growl.

Demetri stepped back, putting his hands up in a sign of surrender. Felix also moved back and stood up out of his crouch, to show he did not plan to attack.

"We were just trying to see if the shield would drop if she wasn't totally focused. We honestly meant no harm. We simply wished to know how strong the shield was." Demetri had a soft pleasant voice and he even attempted to smile at the end of his speech but it looked like he was unused to it making it seem more forced and uncomfortable than friendly.

I stopped growling and everyone but Jacob followed my example. He continued to snarl and snap his teeth. He turned his head towards Edward and began to nod as well as a wolf was able.

"He says that the next time, you will announce that you are using more people or notify us of a surprise tactic or we will rip you all to shreds and ask questions later." Edward's voice had gone harsh and low.

"Once again we apologize, it won't happen again. We meant no harm to her or any of you." Demetri still had his hands in the air to show surrender and Felix nodded fervently. I laughed inwardly, Demetri seemed to fear lowering his hands, he was afraid that to do so would give us the signal to attack.

The standoff lasted another few minutes until Carlisle and Aro arrived, sensing the distress surrounding the air around us. Carlisle quickly brought our side under control, his calm demeanor and disapproving look had quieted even Jacob's fiery temper.

Aro spoke sternly to Felix and Demetri and gave Jane a literal slap on the wrist. Her broken-hearted expression was enough to convince me that she was actually sorry and wouldn't let it happen again.

I was surprised that Jane seemed to truly care for Aro and wanted his approval, much how I wanted Carlisle approval. It was odd, the whole group was off. They were cold and unfeeling most of the time. Except Jane and Aro, they had a genuine affection for one and other. I found it a little disturbing that the two most sadistic vampires in existence loved each other.

I knew that a good portion of the guard served under Chelsea's control but to think some of them truly enjoyed their jobs was sickening. Even while serving in the Southern Wars I had never truly enjoyed it, I had never loved it.

I knew she loved Alec as well but she had sided against him because Aro loved and encouraged her to be bad, spoiling her and letting her get away with everything. Alec had tried to curb her sadistic side and she rebelled against him for it. Alec was truly horrified by what they had done now that he was no longer serving loyally because of Chelsea.

I guess there really is someone for everyone. Aro loved Jane more than his own wife. It was obvious that he loved her because she was powerful and as loyal as she was to him. Only I knew he would trade her for someone more powerful, it was really very sad. Aro's love would only last as long as Jane was the best and most useful. Aro's wife only had a parlor trick for a power. I am actually not sure why he kept her around. Aro and Jane are quite a pair, a match made in hell.

I knew they were doing us a favor by helping us and it made me distrust them even more. Aro would want something in return, or someone. Bella kept her shield extended to all of our allies at all times. She kept them protected from all of the Volturi's gifts, especially Chelsea's.

She refused to allow Chelsea the chance to affect their loyalty. I had been pondering this the whole way back to our room. I had sat near the window and when I looked up I found Bella studying me. She gave me her wicked smile and I knew she was trying to distract me. I was instantly aware that she was planning something. I was just about to ask her what, when she shook her head and told me to wait.

"Not out loud! Not here." echoed through my mind. Bella took my hand and led me towards our little sanctuary; once we were inside I heard her murmur "Now" in my head.

"I am going to free them all. I am slowly placing them under my shield. Once they are under it Chelsea's gift no longer affects them, I am doing it slowly for two reasons: so she doesn't get suspicious and tell Aro and so that I don't drive them insane but just breaking all their bonds. I put her under first so she isn't aware that she is no longer controlling the bonds. She can't feel them and is currently unaware that I have her gift trapped in her own mind. She is only affecting herself. The bonds will slowly break by themselves and then they are free. Much like Alec she will never be able to control them again.

"Come here my little evil genius." I wrapped her in my arms and placed a kiss on top of her head.

"Some of them are really loyal or indifferent but a lot of them are being forced to serve. When I am done only the ones who wish to serve will have to return to Volterra. In the elite guard only Caius, Jane, and Chelsea are actually loyal, the others are being controlled."

"Marcus is being held by Chelsea?" I was astounded. Surely Aro respected his co-rulers more than that.

"Marcus is not a true Volturi leader. He is Dagda, unlike most of the others. He is actually a brother to Carlisle, they have the same maker. Marcus had wished long ago to leave with his mate, Aro's sister Didyme. When Aro learned of this plan he devised a plan to keep Marcus by murdering his sister. It worked for a while but Marcus still planned to leave. Aro wouldn't allow his powerful brother-in-law to leave after putting so much effort into keeping him. Luckily for Aro, he had sent out Eleazar with a tracking party, they found Chelsea and brought her back. Aro was delighted and immediately put her to use, trapping his brother-in-law. I guess Eleazar was so disgusted that he left the Volturi; Aro let him go but only as long as he kept his silence about what Aro was doing. After that Aro called on Chelsea whenever someone he really wanted wouldn't voluntarily join him." Bella explained she had found all this in their minds.

I was shocked that everything that I knew about the Volturi was based on a lie. I almost laughed at my own gullibility. I knew how power hungry Aro was, this treachery should not surprise me at all. I can't believe I didn't suspect it sooner. I felt a profound outrage for Marcus, being held against his will for several centuries. It was against everything the Volturi was supposed to protect against; it was also against everything the Arazil stood for, our very motto was to be strong, fierce, and free.

Marcus no longer possessed any of those qualities thanks to Aro. I came to the realization that the Volturi were no longer worthy of leadership and hadn't been for a long time. We needed a better form of government that wasn't so inherently corrupted.

As I gazed into Bella's eyes, I discovered that the knowledge I had just uncovered had been clear to her all along and together we would reform the vampire royalty, the beginning would be to free Marcus.


	29. Calm before the Storm

Calm before the Storm

***Jasper's point of view***

We had only a few precious hours before dawn. Our next battle for survival would begin just after dawn. Despite the dark clouds hanging over our heads the house was filled with laughter and love, friendship and hope.

Bella and I had spent the evening with our family and friends, retelling old stories, sharing jokes and playing games. It is amazing how just a short time ago we feared these vampires, now we sit among them almost totally at ease. I don't know how we all kept our worries and fears at bay. It would have been so very easy to give in to the despair, to cry and rage over the fact that we were once again forced to fight for our lives. I wasn't using my powers but the joy was genuine as was the happiness and nostalgia.

I looked to my mate, she was laughing at the antics of Quil and Embry using the little wolf Seth to remain standing. Her best friend Jacob was already rolling on the floor. Even I couldn't keep a small chuckle from escaping at their crazy stories and playful antics.

I finally caught Bella's eye and she signaled me to follow her outside. We escaped to our bungalow and spent the remaining hours before dawn in a peaceful solitude. We lay together in silence, her wrapped in my arms, we just held each other as the sky slowly went from pitch black, to dark blue, until it was finally grey with a hint of red, signally the sun would soon begin to peak over the horizon. Bella slowly turned in my arms and began to kiss me, as our clothing melted away I feared that she was trying to tell me goodbye.

"Don't be afraid, my love." She kissed me again. "All is well; everything will turn out as it is meant to."

"How do you know?" I hated that my anxiety was reflected in my voice but I couldn't hide my true feeling from her. "Stealing Alice's vision?" I attempted humor.

"I just know. I can feel it." She brought her mouth back to mine and words were no longer necessary.

We filled the last hours before dawn making love; it was sweet and filled with affection just like always. It held none of the desperation I had previously felt.

I thought back to my time with Maria while Bella showered. I had always felt nervous and anxious before a battle, and somehow I had always managed to survive to fight in the next one. Thank god that Peter had the nerve to escape. He helped me make my choice to leave, which led me to Alice. Alice had saved my existence and by introducing me to my new family she had led me to everlasting love, my true soul mate, my beautiful Bella.

My lack of nerves unsettled me. I had always attributed my fighting skills to my overwhelming anxiety before a battle. I figured it gave me an edge and helped me to stay focused. Did my lack of nerves indicate that I was no longer fighting my hardest to survive? I loved Bella, and I never wanted to leave her side but I would sacrifice my life for hers and go into whatever after life was allotted for vampires with a smile on my face as long as my love survived.

I made a promise to myself that I would marry Bella if we survived this battle and I would spend the rest of my existence giving her anything and everything she wished.

I caught myself smiling, as I imagined an eternity with Bella but what if one of us didn't survive. I would not allow myself to think of Bella's life ending, should the worst happen I would end mine as well, knowing an immortal life without her would be empty. I would first make our family safe, and kill all of those who dared to harm my love, but I had every intension of following her in death. No, she had to survive no matter what; even at the cost of my existence.

If I didn't survive, what would happen to my love? I needed to make contingency plans. I slipped out of the house and found the two I desperately needed to speak to. I mentally called Edward, asking him to bring Jacob with him. I knew they would both give their lives for her. I was hoping in the event that I could no longer care for her that they would look out for her and make her happy.

Edward took one look at my face and knew what I wanted without the aid of reading my mind. He spoke before I could ask.

"There is nothing to worry about. We will all be fine. However, should anything happen I will take good care of her. Jacob will help me."

Jacob tossed Edward a curious look but as soon as he comprehended my question he was nodding in agreement.

"Jasper, you do not need to worry about a thing between your family and mine, Bella will be well looked after. Even being a leech she is still my best friend. That is a lifetime commitment and since she is no longer aging, neither am I. She is as much a member as my family as yours, I won't let her be alone. She is the sister I wanted, instead of the ones I have." He laughed.

I felt better knowing they would be there for her if I was no longer able to be. We split up and I headed back to the bungalow so escort Bella to the main house.

As she exited the bathroom a few minutes later I spontaneously decided to ask her to marry me right then. I moved over and gently took her face between my palms.

"My love, I have something very important I would like to ask you." She smiled at me knowingly, kissed me softly and removed my hands from her face.

"Ask me when we get back tonight." Then she preceded me out the door.

We found everyone in the cleared area of the yet to be built area of our home. As one we turned our attention to the direction we believed Victoria's army would come from. The sun had already risen and was steadily climbing in the sky. We did a quick warm up and a even quicker review of our main strategies.

I was on high alert and moved into instant defense as a large group of vampires appeared moving in from the wrong direction. We all sank into crouches and began to snarl. I readied myself to leap forward when I felt a small hand encase my forearm. I turned my face to meet Bella's. She shook her head slightly to indicate a negative response to my actions before turning back towards the slowly approaching vampires. I was flabbergasted when she smiled warmly and welcomed them.

"I told you that it wasn't necessary for you to fight. This isn't your problem." Bella called out.

"Aye and we heard you and understand your worry but you have been good to us and this is the least we can do for you." I didn't recognize him until he began to speak but the Irish brogue could only be one person; Graham the Forman of the construction workers; the hundred or so vampires behind him were the workers and their covens.

I quickly recalculated the numbers. Victoria had managed to rebuild her army to about three hundred and fifty. We now stood at around two hundred; the odds were in our favor at last. Her army would be strong but unskilled; we now had an excellent chance.

I was still worried about Victoria's secret plan but decided to focus on one problem at a time, to pace myself. Kill the newborns before I worry about extra problems.

The workers quickly joined our ranks and we once again turned back to where the newborns would appear. We had expected them to attack shortly after first light but almost two hours had passed and they were nowhere to be seen.

I could finally hear the thunder of their footfalls, and I caught a sweet stench. All too quickly the newborns appeared on from the forest. They were chaotic, running full tilt, crashing through the undergrowth, mindlessly careening towards us.

They lacked all sense of structure and seemed only intent to reach our army. as they flew towards us some of them turned on their own forces, causing small brawls to breakout and they began to tear their own force apart.

We quickly killed the newborns that actually reached us and then turned our attention to the one that had been dismembered by their own side and dispatching the ones that had remained, a small group went after those who had fled.

It was the easiest battle I had ever fought in, and it was just a little bit too easy. A key element was missing. Victoria was nowhere to be found, and there were only about two hundred newborns burning in the piles that surrounded us.

She was here, I could feel her. I just didn't know where. We had quickly scouted the area and the only trail we found led into the manor.

I growled loudly. The enemy had infiltrated our home; it was defiled by her very presence. My vision filled with a red haze as I separated our group into teams and set them up on the perimeters.

I quickly picked a few groups to help me clear the house. She wouldn't be taking my sanctuary without a fight. We split up and I circled around to the front door where I would enter.

I kicked down the door and we rushed into the manor only to be confronted with an empty foyer… where was she?


	30. Death and Desperation

Death and Desperation

***Jasper's point of view***

I couldn't believe how empty the house appeared. I knew that even as I stood here, staring dumbly into my own home the other teams were making their way into the house. Each team had a wolf so we could stay in contact, they had worked out signals to let us know what was going on without shifting back to human form.

Sam stood at my shoulder, he tapped my shoulder twice, and this let me know that Edward's team had run into a group of newborns.

"Do they need our help?"

He chuffed to let me know that they did not need us. We searched all the rooms of the bottom floor, and Sam kept us informed as the other teams also finished their sweeps, a few groups would run into small bands of newborns. None were putting us much of a fight and all were moving towards the center of the house. We dealt with all those we ran into until finally the house appeared empty.

"What is going on!" Emmett exclaimed. "Where all they?"

Sam smelt around and then moved off towards the door leading into the garden. We opened the garden's double doors and moved slowly into the open area. I had feared an immediate ambush but no adversaries greeted us. Sam made an odd noise.

"Are their vampires here?" He nodded.

"Are they friends or enemies?" Emmett asked. He nodded twice. I wasn't sure what he was signaling.

"Are their vampires from our side and theirs here?" I clarified. Once again he nodded. Since we knew our friends were here as well as our enemies we moved a little quicker but just as cautiously.

I caught Bella's scent and broke into a run to reach her. I could hear the others following close behind me.

***Bella's point of view***

I couldn't believe all the trouble I had caused. I mean Victoria's vendetta had always been against me and I had caused all these deaths. These newborns were turned to destroy me and while I didn't regret killing them to protect my family, I was sad that they were killed in order to cause harm to me. As much as Victoria's decision to use others to achieve her means sickened me, I still felt bad for her. All of this was some sick and twisted form of grief. All for a man that didn't really love her, he only wanted her for her useful talent.

She must have truly been a lost soul to love someone as depraved as James. I hoped we didn't have to kill her, I actually wanted to help her somehow. I took my team under my shield. Jacob yipped, startled at the loss of contact with his pack.

"Sorry Jake, but I can't leave us unprotected. Besides this is between Victoria and I. She and I need to finish this and it would be better if we did it without the other's help. I think you guys should go help them.

The group glanced at each other uncertainly before Jake violently shook his head. They all refused to leave.

"Ok have it your way." I shrugged.

Alec moves to stand on my other side, so that they are flanking me. The scent of the intruders intensified the farther we move into the garden. When we reached the waterfall, we found a small band of vampires. A gorgeous vampire was sitting on a rock with her feet dipped into the pool at the bottom of the waterfall. Sitting to her left like an obedient dog was Victoria. The other newborns were loosely circled around the pair but giving my team and I a clear view.

It almost looked staged. They must have planned this setup. She almost looked as if she was a queen upon her thrown, surrounded by loyal subjects. These newborns were not mindless and wild like all the others we had met before. They were calm and alert, very well trained killers.

I didn't recognize her but my stomach dropped and I felt a nervous apprehension and with a sense of foreboding I felt like I knew her.

"Hello, it is a lovely home you have here." Her voice was musical and just as lovely as she was. I knew she was an extremely old Arazil. I felt fear for the first time since becoming a vampire, something about her horrible crimson eyes, even more chilling than Victoria's and Aro's combined.

"I did not invite you. What right do you have to invade my home?" I spoke with more confidence than I felt.

"I have come to reclaim my best soldier, my favorite son, Jasper."

***Jasper's point of view***

A howl echoed through the silence, a cry for help. We dropped all pretense of stealth and took off at a full on run. When we reached the middle we found Bella's team standing in the middle facing a small band of vampires. I felt Edward's team approaching but he was still in stealth mode, sneaking up to aid us if necessary.

I rushed to Bella and took her into my arms, she glanced at me but had a look of frozen horror on her face. Her mind was screaming wordlessly into mine. She was so shocked she was not blocking out the others, she was panicking and reaching out for me since she was unable to control it on her own.

Our minds melted together. She used our combined empathic ability to shut out the others emotions until only hers and mine were left.

She showed me everything from the day she was born all the way to this very moment, it was much like Aro's gift but she only did it with me and didn't need to be in physical contact. While I watched her memories she was watching mine. When our lives finished flashing before our eyes she pulled me towards her, all this had taken place in seconds. I still didn't understand what she found so distressing.

I looked at her questioningly and she showed me two memories, one was mine when I was serving Maria, the other was hers from a few minutes before I arrived. They showed the same vampire. Maria was the leader of the army, not Victoria. I wasn't filled with the same horror she was, I didn't care about Maria. I didn't when I left her and I didn't now.

I was displeased. Maria was supposed to be hiding out in Mexico, not here in my sanctuary. Bella moved out of my embrace and back into a loose fighting stance.

"My beloved son; my favorite lover; come give me a kiss, Jasper. It has really been too long." Maria said sweetly while gently stroking Victoria's hair. "This is my new pet, but I believe that you already know her. She has been telling me all sorts of interesting stories. It seems you killed her mate James. Oh, it saddened me to hear of his death. Especially when I learned that my favorite rebellious son destroyed his younger brother."


	31. Maria's Second Son

Maria's Second Son

***Jasper's Point of View***

I roared in my head. Maria had created that sadistic bastard that had hunted my family and hurt my precious Bella.

"He was no brother of mine." I stated fiercely. "I have two brothers: Edward and Emmett."

"Oh my sweet but he was. Let me explain, after you abandoned me to run off with the dark-haired little pip-squeak; I was terribly lonely so I was forced to find someone who could help me bring you back into my arms again. So I made my sweet young James. He was such a good boy agreeing to keep an eye on you, until you were tired of being a substandard vampire."

"James was tracking Jasper?" Bella said slowly but she wasn't looking at Maria but Victoria. "Maria sent James to his death, she knew all about the Cullen Clan.

Victoria glared at Bella, flashing her teeth but a hint of uncertainty reflected in her crimson eyes. She had been proud to stand by Maria, in James' place until that moment.

"Of course he was. I figured if Jasper wasn't ready to return I could use one of the others to sway him. Once Jasper had decided to come home, Victoria would use her gift to avoid danger and escape from Washington, bringing him home to me." Maria laughed.

"Jasper would never return to you and your pitiful existence." Bella snarled.

"He may not have come willingly but once he remembered how it felt to be a real vampire, a true Arazil, he would have thanked me." She batted her eyes at me and smiled in what she thought was a flirtatious manner.

"Never, I would have never returned." I shouted.

"It doesn't really matter." She shrugged. "James was practically useless. Though he was a excellent lover, not as good as Jasper, but not bad. He was too easily seduced by delicious scents. It is a real shame little Mary Alice escaped him, you would have come home decades ago. She never would have been turned if it weren't for James' sweet tooth. Then his idiot second in command got killed by those reeking dogs. He was suppose to remind you of how good being a vampire really was. If that hadn't been enough to convince you, his little Denali tart was suppose to seduce you back. The only problem was that he left to check on Isabella before he could do his job. When he followed her in the woods, the dogs were quicker than he was. The only one even vaguely useful is my sweet little Victoria. I am glad I chose her to be my little lover's playmate."

Bella was showing me the whole story from Maria's mind. This new talent was amazingly useful. It was almost like watching a internal movie. Apparently Maria had turned Victoria in the hopes of keeping James happy and on the hunt instead of traipsing off after succulent blood.

I found it almost ironic that if James had simply keep after Alice, he would have found me a long time ago. He might have been able to reach my before I reached Alice and I am ashamed to admit that I would have went back to Maria simply to ease my loneliness. Thank God, I met Alice first. I had still been a ruthless killer then and I was almost consumed by my despair.

Even though I wasn't in love with Alice anymore; I still thanked my lucky stars for her everyday because she saved me from myself and led me to my everlasting love.

This thought caused me to turn my attention to the beauty by my side. It was only then that I registered she was up to something. I didn't understand at first but then it became very clear. The newborns were becoming increasingly restless, their anger mounting. She was filling them with anxiety, anger, and discontent. They were losing their focus and returning to their instinct.

Suddenly, pandemonium erupts. They began attacking each other and us. It all happened so quickly that Maria's army was quickly decimated into less than a handful, including Maria and Victoria.

Our side quickly moved into teams to tackle the remainder of her army. Leaving only Maria, Victoria, Bella and I untouched. Bella had me under the shield and quickly told me she had special plans for Victoria if I would handle Maria. I quickly agreed and we moved into our fighting stances.

Before any of us had a moment to attack, Victoria bolted. Bella gave me a quick glance, letting me know that she was going after her and she disappeared after Victoria.

Mara called after Victoria but it was too late. She would be receiving no help from any of her army. She slowly turned back to face me and smiled widely. Showing me all of her perfectly white teeth but I felt her nerves spike. She was afraid to fight me.

She had honestly believed that we would join her or die. She had never entertained the idea that we would not only refuse her but also win the battle.

I honestly felt pity for Maria. As a young woman she had been ruled by men, forced to follow traditions. As a vampire she could do as she pleased and she wanted to hold power oven men in order to make herself feel safe but she had become so secure in her rule that she had lost herself and now she was nothing but a bitter power hungry monster.

Sadly, she was much like Aro and would trade anything for just a little more power. There was only one way to stop her.

"Jasper, you have all ways been my favorite. At the same time, I have always wanted to fight you. I could never decided which one of us would win if it ever came down to a win or die fight." Maria spoke softly and giggled madly at the end. If I had not been a seasoned general in an army, her insane laugh might have scared me but I had heard it for centuries.

My team was quickly overpowering her remaining soldiers but she was too proud to admit defeat. She smiled almost tenderly towards me before she was suddenly right before me and I was dodging blows.

Maria was a swift and skilled fighter but I was not only a more seasoned fighter but I also had a natural talent for strategy, something that had attracted Maria from the beginning. I was stronger and using my empathy, despite these advantages, it was still a fierce battle. She was just as quick as Edward was but she knew it was futile and her movements were filled with desperation, making her careless.

I finally trapped her against my chest and had my teeth poised at her throat. Yet, I was hesitant to kill her. I held no love for Maria but I didn't know if I was cold enough to end her.

"She will never stop, she wants you back and will do anything to have you. Even if it means killing your mate." Edward told me at vampire speed.

It was only then that I noticed my team was surrounding me, we had won. My eyes met Jacob's and I felt a rush as his emotions hit me. He would take pleasure in killing a high ranking, ancient vampire. He let me feel that he would handle her if I were incapable of doing it myself. I nodded in thanks and shoved her towards the wolves.

After Maria had been dealt with and we had gathered all the vampires that had been destroyed. We began the pyre, burning them all to ashes. Releasing them to the other side, and whatever awaited our kind in the afterlife.

Our side had fared well. We had only a few casualties. Suddenly Bella dropped her shield, and when she did it dropped the protection on the minds of the Volturi. Aro was touching Alec and he had found out he was going to lose his power source, it caused him to go insane with rage; and he killed several vampires from our side in a manner of seconds before he locked eyes on me.

"I will kill her. I won't allow that little bitch to steal from me, anymore than I allowed my sister to!" Aro spat at me. Venom dripping from his mouth and scorching the grass.

I felt fury, and was shocked by its intensity and that is not coming from me. I turned and searched the crowd. Marcus, my gaze was torn away from him when Aro charged me. Before I had time to react, he had been intercepted by Marcus and dismembered just as quickly. Marcus let out a grief-ridden howl, both for his beloved wife and the brother who betrayed him. Alec started the fire while Marcus nodded in satisfaction.

Jane had fallen to her knees next to the fire and stared blankly ahead. When she finally comprehended what had happen she began to scream and tear at her hair and face, leaving deep gashed across her eyes. Alec quickly fell besides her, pulling her hands into his and hugging her protectively. She dissolved into sobs and he finally picked her up and carried her away from all the watchful eyes.

"I finally have avenged my true love. I feel free for the first time in centuries." Marcus crowed.

Alice and my family stood to the side, it was then that I realized my love was gone.

"Hey, where is Bella?" I called to the assembled victors.

***Bella's point of view***

I hesitated only a moment to let Jasper know my plan before I raced after Victoria. I quickly moved into the house, I wasn't afraid she would turn on me, I knew she wanted only to escape or more correctly, to die trying. I raced after her through the west wing but I knew I would never catch her before she reached the teams stationed outside. I took a gamble and headed through a secret passage that would exit in the foyer.

She had just passed the opening to the water passage when I emerged from it. I tackled her and rode her to the ground.

"NO! NO! Let me go, I have nothing left." Victoria shrieked at me.

"That isn't true." I calmly tried to sooth her, all the while securing my hold.

"I loved James and he is gone. He never really cared for me, He only used me when his real love wasn't around. I was only as useful as my gift. Without love I have no reason to live." Victoria sobbed tearlessly.

"It doesn't mean that you need to end your life, he wasn't worthy of your love, you could live to find real love, with someone who loves you back." Victoria had hunted me for months. I had been terrified to sleep but the idea of her harming herself was unbearable. "Please don't do this." I whispered

"Bella, I only survived James death by sustaining myself with hatred for you and Edward. Now my hatred is only focused on Maria. I assume your mate has taken care of her by now. What do I have without my revenge? Who am I without my hate? I have been robbed of both my hatred and my love, is there anything left for me?"

"There is plenty out there for you. There is plenty for you here. I can't replace James but I can offer you a home and my friendship. I can offer you a family." I hoped she would stay on and allow the Cullen clan and myself to help heal her.

"I have not had any of those things in so long. I can... I mean you really would allow me to stay, even after all the hurt I have caused?" She asked shyly. I nodded quickly. "Would you be willing to allow me to destroy myself if this doesn't work out?"

I didn't answer right away. I felt a kinship to her, remembering the pain I felt when Edward had abandoned me, I had lived for Charlie but had I not had Charlie and Jacob, I know I would have ended my life. I don't think I could take that choice away from Victoria. No, I would not take away her choice but hopefully I could give her something to live for until she found something or someone to live for herself.

"I swear that if this doesn't work out I will not stand in your way no matter what you decided to do. It isn't my place to tell you what to do with your life." I promised.

She smiled at me and I knew she had accepted my offer. We both stood up and faced each other hesitantly. We both burst out laughing at the awkward silence that followed. I impulsively hugged Victoria, she gripped at me desperately, the sobs overtaking her once again.

We were both startled when Edward, Jasper, and Jacob came flying around the corner followed by Emmett, Alec, and Marcus.

I was shocked at the change in Marcus. Normally he had looked bored and uncaring but now he looked alert and mildly excited.

I glanced at Jasper questioningly. What was going on? Jasper smiled at me gently. He then showed me, his battle with Maria, burning the newborns, almost fighting Aro, Marcus killing Aro, Jane's sobbing into Alec's shoulder and finally Marcus smiling and declaring he was finally free.

I smiled. I hadn't known I had dropped my shield but I am glad everything worked out. I felt extremely bad for Marcus. Her brother and his closest friend killed his only love. I couldn't believe that Aro was so power hungry, that he would willingly harm his own sister in order to keep Marcus by his side. It was such a tragedy.

I quickly showed Jasper my talk with Victoria. He thought I was crazy for trusting her but he nodded in acceptance and welcomed her to our family. Today wasn't as bad as I had feared.

Tomorrow was looking bright and hopeful.


	32. Rise from the Ashes

Rise from the Ashes

*** Jasper's point of view***(March-October)

In the month that followed the battle it was decided that Marcus would take over the leadership of the Volturi. He solicited Carlisle to help him recreate the government and to establish a council, that would assemble and vote on major issues.

It was decided that the guard would no longer be forced to serve, vampires would join voluntarily and would be free to leave whenever they wanted to. Even though Bella had freed all of the guard, most of them returned in order to assist in the formation of the new government.

They decided that the decision to wipe out a coven, abolish or create rules and to declared war would all be decided by the council which would be made up of established coven leaders. So far Carlisle, Marcus, Tanya of the Denali's, Zafrina of the Amazons, Benjamin of the Egyptians, Maggie from the Irish coven had been selected to make up the council. Garrett had been elected to speak for the nomads. The other covens had not yet decided on whether if they would join the council, the wolves even had a representative and little Seth Clearwater would speak for Sam. Secretly I think they choose him because he didn't mind the smell of vampires.

The guards had returned to Volturi castle but Marcus had stayed behind to continue to visit with Carlisle and work out the issues in the new government. I think he had an ulterior motive for staying. He loved my Bella, enjoyed verbal the sparing with Carlisle and Edward, and was sweet on a certain redheaded she-vamp.

They understood each other well, both mourning someone they had loved dearly. At first they were comfortable and friendly but it quickly blossomed into love. I wasn't at all surprised when Victoria announced that she would return with Marcus when he left for Volterra. She later confessed to Bella that she was deeply in love with Marcus and he had asked her to marry him.

Surprisingly Jane and Felix remained with us, even after the rest of the Volturi had left. Jane had deeply loved Aro, despite the fact that he was married and she couldn't stand the thought of living in that castle without him. Felix had stayed on because he was bored of the life of a guard and had taken an instant liking to Emmett.

They could have been twins. They were both burly and bear-like with a wicked sense of humor and a sweet childish personality. Felix and Emmett spent days hunting, playing video games and wrestling in the yard. I hoped Rosalie was up to some competition because I think Emmett was in love.

Thanks to the vampires that had come for the battle we had finished both the house and the resort. We would be opening in May of the this year. This gave us two months to do the finishing touches and take reservations for our guests.

It seems like everything was perfect but I knew it wasn't over. The family was once again safe and Victoria was no longer a threat. Now we needed to fix the emotional problems in our family.  
Bella had buried her hurt and resentment because of the danger the family was in but even forgiving them had not settled the issues she had with certain members of our family. Now that the danger had passed she needed to work out the issues she was still harboring.

Everything was fine between her and Emmett, as well as Rosalie. Bella had worked things out weeks ago with Esme. I knew the issues that we left were Carlisle, but mostly with Alice and Edward.

I was hesitant to bring it up with all the drama that had been going on lately. I just couldn't stand to wait around for the bottom to drop out anymore, I decided to speak with Bella.

"My love, I think you should talk to the family about how you feel about the way we left."

"I am fine." She replied automatically but I felt her spike of apprehension.

"Darling, I can feel your emotions better than I can anyone else. I know you are still unsure in your relationships with Carlisle, Alice and Edward. I think if you talk to them and let them know how you feel you will feel a lot better. I think you should talk to Carlisle first. It may help you more than the others; your feelings towards him are the most complicated especially with him being your stand in father. It may help you to speak with Alice and Edward.

"Yes, you are right. I have put this off for too long. I will speak to Carlisle right now." She left our bedroom and headed up to Carlisle's study. She was gone for a few hours before she returned. She smiled brightly at me when she reentered our bedroom. A weight had been lifted from her shoulders and she was much lighter emotionally.

"I will speak to Alice when she returns from shopping." Bella informed me, before gathering her clothes and heading into the shower. Later that night Alec and I hung out in the game room while Alice and Bella spent the night in Alice's room laughing and talking out their issues. They were in there until noon the next day. Their emotions had been everywhere from sadness and grief to anger and resentment. When she came back to me that morning her relationship with Alice was finally healed, not just the patched up version it was before.

I knew she would need my support for when she talked to Edward. Especially when she had clung to me for hours after her talk with Carlisle and Alice.

"I think it was easier to talk to Alice because of Alec. We had some issues because of our feelings for you. However, Alice wasn't bitter about it because she now has Alec and knows that he is her true mate, just as I am yours. I cannot hide behind that defense when I speak to Edward. He currently has no mate and no prospective mates. How can I face him, Jasper?"

"Well Darling, I think you should use your new power to show Edward everything. That way he can see everything you and I feel and think and you can feel all he thinks and feels. Besides this will give him the one thing he has always wanted… to see inside your mind."

"Thank you, that is an excellent idea."

"Whatever you need to make you feel better." I said as I wrapped her in my arms. We lay there together on our bed, just enjoying each other's company. She was deep in thought and suddenly our minds were once again melted together. We were both flooded with calm and were so relaxed that we were almost asleep.

We spent several days together sharing our minds, bodies, and souls. After she had sorted through everything, she was finally ready to speak with Edward.

"Honey, when you are done come back here, I have something to ask you." She gazed at me quizzically before turning and heading out the door.

She wasn't gone as long as she had been with Alice. She would only need a few minutes to show Edward everything, while she learned everything about Edward. They spent a few hours talking about it and then she returned to our bedroom.

When she was once again lying beside me, in my arms, she showed me everything that that happened between her and Edward and all that he had showed her. He had finally accepted us, not just said it but he actually meant it. I decided now was the perfect time to ask her.

"I love you, Sugar. I want to love you forever." I turned her to face me. "Will you be my wife?"

She studied me intently for several moments but I could feel her calm emotions and she was radiating nothing but love for me. She pressed he lips to mine softly before a brilliant smile spread across her face.

"I will be your wife. Of course, I will marry you. I love you, Jasper." Then she began to shower me with kisses.

I reached into the nightstand and pulled out the ring. I had bought it in an antique shop in Ireland. It was an impulse buy, I didn't even know why I had bought it or who it was for, the moment I had decided to ask Bella to be mine, I knew why I had purchased this ring.

"I love it, it is beautiful and so perfectly me. Thank you Jasper." She continued to study her ring and I was almost crushed by the wave of love she sent me. I basked in her approval.

We decided we would marry in October, our favorite month. I picked the day, a Friday, which was my favorite day and Bella picked the Fourteenth. She had chosen my birth date, except I had been born in December. She jokingly told me it was so I would remember out anniversary. I laughed. Even if I hadn't been a vampire with a perfect memory, I would never have forgotten the day I married my beloved Bella.

Our wedding would be very small. Just our family and friends. It would give us a few months of marital bliss before the winter guest would begin to arrive in November. I had planned to marry Bella in both the human and Arazil ways.

Our family was very excited for us. Esme and Alice had even taken over the planning. The wolves had teased Bella mercilessly about making me an honest man. She took it well. Laughing along with them.

I was thankful that Bella had worked out her issues with the family and I hoped we could once again live together in peace. I could feel that Edward still loved her but he had graciously accepted that she loves me. He would be happy as long as she was happy. Even if she wasn't happy with him. I felt a sense of peace knowing that if I were ever killed, there would be someone to take my place, and help my sweet Bella through the loss.

Our wedding was quickly approaching. We had the decorations up and the dresses and tuxes were hanging neatly in our closets. Carlisle has obtained a marriage license and had agreed to wed us. Emmett was standing in as my beat man, and Bella had surprising chose Rosalie to be her maid of honor. Edward and Alec were to be my groomsmen and the other bridesmaids would be Victoria and Alice.

Jacob had asked Bella for the honor of walking her down the aisle seeing that Bella didn't trust herself enough to invite her parents. As her best friend and the son of her father's best friend, he felt it was fitting for him to do it and she was not only relieved but was ecstatic because she had planned to ask him.

Since her parents couldn't come she had told them about us. She also told them how she was earning a degree in Hospitality Management. She also told them all about the resort she was planning and even sent them drawings of the buildings that she had planned on creating.

The only issue we had in planning was when Alice found out that I was going to make Bella, Mrs. Whitlock. She hid it well but she was deeply hurt that I was granting Bella the title I had always denied her. I explained that it had never felt right to give her my human name and she simply nodded and assured me it was because my darker half had never accepted her, that is why we were not made to be together forever. Alice told me that she had looked into Bella and my future and had seen nothing but love and happiness in our foreseeable future.

I am glad she understood. Tonight I am out with my brothers and friends and we are having a vampire bachelor party, hunting, running, wrestling and video games. We are having an awesome time but I am getting increasingly nervous about tomorrow. I would be marrying the love of my eternal life.


	33. Wedding Day

Wedding Day

***Jasper's point of view***(October 14th)

Everything was ready. I was finishing getting dressed for my wedding. My tux was perfect and I kept straightening my tie. Edward and Emmett couldn't stop laughing, while Alec tried to keep the smile off his face.

"Dude, you have been married several times. Why are you freaking?" Emmett laughed.

"I don't know. I mean I was always so calm when I married Alice. It didn't seems so nerve wracking then." I couldn't laugh with them.

"Maybe it is because you always knew that we wouldn't be forever." Alice said quietly.

Emmett and Jasper tactfully left the room; Alec dropped Alice a kiss and followed them.

"I thought we would be together forever." I swore to her.

"No, you didn't. When we first got together you told me were not sure if we would stay together. A few times you have also told me our relationship was a bit off. Not giving me your human name was just one of the ways." She told me.

"I will always love you and be your friend."

"I know. I am happy for you. Jasper, you and Bella will honestly be together until the end of time, you will never have to worry about her love for you."

Edward knocked on the door; it was time to go. I made my way out and stood at the front of the aisle. Carlisle gave me a calming smile and Emmett placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.

I was getting increasingly nervous. What if she decided she didn't love me or didn't want to get married, what if she would rather be with Edward?

These thoughts clouded my mind, almost suffocating me. Just as I was about to choke the music started. Victoria and Alice floated down the aisle followed by Rosalie. The wedding march started and Jacob appeared.

Bella suddenly showed up next to him. A vision in her white dress, she looked like a fairy tale princess. She took Jacob's elbow and they began to move forward in slow measured steps.

I was in awe of the beauty of my mate. I had never been more swept away by her beauty then I was right at this moment. It was perfect and it was finally forever.

***Bella's point of view***

I could feel Jasper's nerves from my bedroom and I didn't even need my empathic gift. I could hear him repeatedly fix his tie as Emmett and Edward teased him.

Alice, one of my best friends and a bridesmaid laughed at the boy's antics. She dropped a kiss on my cheek and left to settle my soon to be husband.

Rosalie looked stunning in her red floor length dress, as my maid of honor her dress was different than the other girls. Victoria had on a dark green dress that matched Alice's with the exception that Alice's was purple. They all had small bouquets of white lilies.

We lined up to enter the garden. Alice went first standing across from Alec, Victoria went next and stood across from Edward and finally Rosalie went and stood across from Jasper's best man Emmett.

I almost laughed out loud when I remembered Jasper's face when he had to choose his best man. He couldn't decide between his three brothers. I had told him to ask Edward. Japer had looked at me like I had just flashed a priest. He wasn't yet close enough to Alec to ask him, even though he would be the least awkward choice. Emmett had been his first choice but he wasn't sure the big goofball could handle the responsibility.

Carlisle was already marrying us so he couldn't ask him. I had known that Edward wanted a chance to prove to Jasper that he approved of us and Edward had been willing to take on the responsibility.

I had laughed my ass off the day that they boys had forced him to choose. Edward and Emmett had cornered Jasper in our living room and Jasper looked like he was going to faint when they blocked the exits and demanded that he pick one of them.

The music changed and Jacob moved into the doorway and offered me his arm. Marrying Jasper had been the easiest choice I had ever made. Picking a maid of honor had been the hardest. It had been difficult to pick between my two sisters and new best friend. I finally decided that Rosalie was the best choice. Even though I had forgiven Alice and we were friends again it would be awhile before we were totally comfortable again, I hadn't know Victoria long enough. Rosalie had been there for me like no one else these last few months; she deserved to stand on my side on this special day. It also helped that Emmett was the best man.

Jacob was also the obvious choice to walk me down the aisle considering that Carlisle was marrying us, and Charlie couldn't be here. Walking beside my best friend, practically my brother was almost as good as my father.

I was still a little sad that my real parents couldn't be here but I was more worried for their lives than that they were missing my wedding. I was disappointed that they thought Jasper was my boyfriend, not my husband at that we were at a fancy private school; they would never see Winter Haven.

Jacob nudges me and we began the slow march forward towards the love of my existence.

I finally reached Jasper. I found that I couldn't tear my gaze from him. I passed my bouquet to Rosalie and looked back at Jasper as our hands laced together, from my peripheral vision I could see Emmett at Jasper's shoulder, followed by Edward and Alec.

Carlisle looked handsome in his tux and I could see Esme beaming in the front row next to her newest daughter Jane.

Jane had been devastated by Aro's death and inconsolable for the first few months. It was only with the support of her brother and Esme's gentle comfort that she came out of her shell. She was slowly becoming more like Esme and the girl Alec had loved so long ago.

These last few months had been rough but it had been worth it to stand at this moment and see the beaming faces of our friends and family. I turned my attention back to Carlisle as he began the ceremony.

***Jasper's point of view***

It had seem to take an eternity for Bella to reach me but once she placed her hands in mine time seemed to stopped up and speed up all at once. I lost myself in the liquid gold of her eyes. I was only aware of a few people. The men standing for me, the ladies for her, my immortal parents and newest little sister and my beloved Bella.

I subtly looked over the girls having been unable to notice them earlier because of my nerves. They looked lovely, Rosalie smiling sedately and perfectly still, Alice smiling brilliantly and vibrating slightly, and then the fiery Victoria who had been our enemy just a few short months ago and who was now a trusted friend.

Carlisle began the ceremony and my entire attention was focused on Bella and waiting to say the two words that I had been wanting to say for a long time, "I do." I actually thanked God for the vampire's ability to multitask because I was too busy, anxiously awaiting him to ask me that I almost missed it.

I was immensely glad that I had never married under my real last name. It made our union feel more real and more unique. I was born Jasper Whitlock and in a few more minutes I would finally have a Mrs. Whitlock. I think my mother would be proud, she would have loved Bella.

I felt a pang of guilt that I had never felt so sure of Alice. I don't think my parents would have approved of her as much as Bella, especially because of her frivolous shopping habits.

I guess it didn't really matter. I would never need to marry again. Even though I had married Alice multiple times and didn't mind repeating my vows, I knew that Bella wouldn't wish to marry again. We had promised forever and no matter how many years passed we would always be forever.

Carlisle finally announced us man and wife and I was able to kiss my bride. We moved into the reception area and were cheered for by all our friends. Toasts were made and blood and liquor was drunk, followed by hours of dancing.

It was during such a dance that it happened. I was dancing with Jane, Bella with Jacob, as we twirled next to my wife I asked to cut in. Jacob let go of my wife and offered his hand to Jane and when he looked up into her eyes, flashing her a smile as she accepted, I felt a jolt go trough him.

He stared at her unmoving, her hand tightly grasped in his. She stared back equally as shocked by the intensity of his gaze. His body filled with love and it over flowed shining out of his eyes.

He gathered her to him and they twirled off laughing.

Bella giggled. "I can't believe he waited until my wedding reception to imprint on her." Bella exclaimed.

I glanced at my wife question. I didn't know if she was upset or not.

"Jane has been crushing on him for months and he is so dense it took him months to realize it." She smiled. I felt myself melting into her and we were once again swirling through our guests.

The party lasted for hours. Just after dawn we slipped off to our bungalow. I had married her in the human way but it wasn't enough. I wanted to marry her in the Arazil way. I feared asking her, I knew how it was done and worried about her reaction to the ceremony I wished to perform and the pain it would cause.

She could feel my hesitation. She watched me as she removed her dress and put it in the garment bag. She tilted her head to study me.

"What is the matter Baby?" She moved to stand before me and wrapped her arms around my neck.

I couldn't put it into words, so I showed her the ceremony in my mind. She flooded me with feelings of love and quickly pressed her soft lips to mine. Gently pushing me back she led me to the bed and once I was sitting up against the headboard she straddled my waist, locking her arms around me.

We both took deep breaths and allowed our inner demons to surface. We allowed them to take over and dropped all shields between each other. No longer were our thoughts or emotions guarded. They washed over us and filled us to the brim.

Bella quickly finished undressing and then assisted me. After we had both removed all of our clothing we shared a gentle kiss. I kissed down her neck to the place where I had originally filled her with my venom the first time. She followed my lead and brought teeth to the place I had been bitten by Maria.

Three things happened at once. Bella blended our minds, we simultaneously bit down releasing our venom and I moved my hip forward in a quick thrust to join our bodies.

We continued to pour our venom into each other as our bodies approached the edge, we found our release together, and once our trembling stopped, I removed my teeth. Bella did the same and I felt our mind separate as she pulled away to look me in the eyes. Our veins burned with the venom of the other and our marriage was finally complete. She was marked as mine as I was hers.

The demons inside us was rejoicing before they quietly returned to the back of our minds. I smiled back at my beautiful mate and knew everything would be this good for all of eternity


	34. Beginning of Forever

Beginning of Forever

***Jasper's point of view***

The months following the wedding passed in a peaceful bliss. The house was completed inside and out. The garden had been rebuilt for the wedding and we had put in a gazebo to commemorate the occasion

My beautiful wife had turned her attention to the stables she was planning to build, along with a secret project that she refused to tell anyone about. The resort had opened without a hitch and was a huge success. We had quickly filled reservations for months in advance, if this kept us we would be filled for the next few decades.

She had chosen one island to be an animal park. It kept enough animals to feed not only all or our family but also any friends that may be visiting. She was also building a specialty hospital that was for both teaching and treating patients for Carlisle. He would be allowed not only to study medicine but practice as well. He could pick any student he wanted and Bella would found their education, and let them learn under Carlisle.

She would also pay for any patients the Carlisle wished to treat that couldn't afford the bills. She had even put in a special floor, dedicated to diagnostic medicine. It would be a gift for Carlisle four-hundredth birthday.

She hadn't yet decided on the other islands but she had forever to decide. All of our family was happy and content here and with the exception of Edward we were all mated. Since Jake had imprinted on Jane, he had decided to stay with us on the island, along with Seth, Quil and Embry.

Seth had attached himself to Carlisle and had decided to become a doctor when he graduated from high school. Esme was currently teaching the boys so not only would they graduate but also they would graduate early and with honors.

I was worried for my brother, he had waited almost a century to fall in love and I knew he wouldn't fall out of love over night. When I confessed my concerns to Bella, she smiled and sweetly kissed my lips before tell me not to worry about Edward, he would be fine.

I thought she was tapping into Alice's powers until a month later she led the family into a room we had not been allowed to enter before. I hadn't known what she was up to, and I was shocked.

She had removed a few walls on the top floor and had turned it into a perfect recording studio with all the equipment and instruments you could ever need.

Edward was extremely touched by this gift. His first love had always been music and he was ecstatic to immerse himself in it. In the weeks following he would disappear for days at a time into the studio. He finally emerged and produced a CD from behind his back. He played it for the family. It was filled with songs he had written and his piano compositions. He had several songs that he sang accompanied by the guitar or the piano and some that were just the music.

The CD was really good and I was impressed. I knew he was awesome at the piano but he was a great guitarist and singer as well.

"I already sent one to a record company and they loved it. My songs are on the radio and people will soon be buying my CDs. All you need to do is look for Mason Haven. He turned to Bella, since you inspired my music, I let you inspire my name as well."

Bella was touched that he named his alter ego after her. I was glad that he was so happy. I knew immediately that Edward would be fine. He would eventually get over Bella, especially with the help of his music and his soon to be many adoring fans.

That evening we sat on the beach and I couldn't help but to look around. Bella was wrapped in my arms with her head under my chin. Totally relaxed.

On the dock Carlisle was slow dancing with Esme. The sun set her caramel hair ablaze. Jane and Jacob were building a huge sandcastle while Emmett and Rosalie faced off with in a water war with the wolf boys. Alice and Alec strolled down the beach hand in hand.

On the patio Edward set with Marcus and Victoria. He was strumming an acoustic guitar, while Victoria softly sang the lyrics while Marcus looked on adoringly.  
I sighed in contentment. For the first time since my immortal life began the demon inside me was completely silent. I was finally at peace; there was no threat hovering over my head, nothing to endanger my love, and nothing to worry over.

I knew the demon still lurked beneath the surface, but here, at least for now, surrounded by the love and comfort of my family and friends, as well as my gorgeous mate I was free of the pain that had haunted me for roughly a year ago.

So much had changed and yet I felt as if this was the only life I had ever known and it would last for the rest of eternity.

Forever Friends, Forever Family, Forever Peace and Forever Love.

Acta Est Fabula

(The drama has been played out)


End file.
